To what degree do emotions such as anger control your life?
September 6, 2007 11:12pm CST
Are you easily angered? And, do you remember bad things for a very long time? And as last thing - are you able to forgive and forget? My answer to the above qestions is: 1) on some days I am very easily angered, but mostly I am rather cool kind of a person. All depends on how my day starts 2) I used to have a kind of a black box, in which I remembered all the wrongs that were done to me. When i decided to become a more levated and spiritual kind of a person I decided to forget about it and to start a new. And i was successful with it, so I am not what i was anymore. 3) Because of what I answered as #2, now I am able to forgive, and almost alwasy to forget, even though this second part is more difficult than the first one. How about you?
2 people like this
7 Sep 07
I am not easily angered. I laugh at things even when it is tearing out my guts and when I go home I clean and rearrange the house to get rid of the anger or irritation. I hate quarrells so if one is going to develop I get very quiet and refuse to answer. I dont bear a grudge and I forgive easily. I have two mottos in life - Do unto others and you would have men do unto you and be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. Yes these are from the Bible and yes I try to live a godly life so that I can be a blessing to others, NO matter how much I am hurt I forgive just as much. It takes too much energy to keep angry at people and I say that my face must be filled with laughing lines and nothing else. People must always love to be around me because I enjoy being with people even though I love my own space alot and my own company. Hope I made sense.
• United States
7 Sep 07
I don't get as angry as I used to. I used to have a scary temper and would fight at the drop of a hat. But I too have become much more spiritual as I've gotten older and I don't let things or people get to me as easily. I do however remember the wrongs done to me on purpose. If a friend hurts me by accident I can forgive and forget very easily but if they go out of their way to hurt me I never forget it and cannot forgive it. I can be civil to the person who hurt me but they will never again be a possibility of friendship because I could never trust that they wouldn't do it again. If the person who hurt me is just a person I don't know then it's easy for me to just ignore them.
8 Sep 07
Hi Craftcatcher, and thank you for your contribution :) Glad to hear that you - just like me were able to put a stop on your tremendous temper ;) We do get wiser while trying to be spiritual beings, but I wish I had started much earlier, while I was 20ish for example... It's difficult to forgive and forget to such extend that you remain friends. So when I forget and forgive, I do not allow the person to be close anymore. But I do remain an acquiantance of theirs, and am able to even help them when needed. I do believe that this attitude creates good karma for me, and find contentment in trying to be a better person than I was yesterday. This probably makes sense to you?
7 Sep 07
Well - like you, I am a very cool person, so anger doesn't rule me at all. I once said on here that I had never lost my temper in my life - and people didn't believe me! But it's true! I've got irritated and upset of course, been let down and depressed about the bad things that happen, - but screaming, uncontrolled anger just isn't me! I once read an interview with the actor Michael Caine, where he said he was told as a young man never to lose his temper in public, because it only made people "lose face" and appear ridiculous and out of control - and I guess I'm like that! I'm a cool - "don't get mad, get even!" sort of person! LOL! Which of course brings me to the next part of your question. And I have to admit that although I don't believe in lack of self-control or violence, I do not forgive or forget!I may appear to have, as I a always polite and controlled in public, but if someone has hurt me or one of my own (family, partner, friends, pets etc) I never forgive or forget. I don't let it fester inside me or eat me up with bitterness, but I could certainly never trust anyone who had done something bad to me or my close ones. Someone once called me "coolly cynical and typically English" (LOL!) - not sure if it was meant as a compliment or not - but it's probably very true!
8 Sep 07
Hi Rosie and thank you for jumping in this discussion too ;) And you my friend are way cooler than I am, since you have never lost your temper, while I am guilty of having lost it too often in the past, until 5 years ago. As Michael Cane said, we do "lose face", and appear rediculous, and this was one of the reasons that I tried to learn how to control this temper of mine :) The "Coolly cynical and typically English" part made me indeed laugh loudly, and I guess it was meant as a compliment ;) But I would try to be able to forgive at least dear. We do get more out of it than the knowledge alone of not bearing any grudge in our hearts. The negatieve emotions are a big burden for us, and the less of these we carry with us, the lighter and happier being we become.
1 person likes this
9 Sep 07
Yes I know you are right my friend, - but not sure if that will ever be easy for me. My Mother was a true Scorpion, who bore grudges and once described herself as "a true Scorpio with a sting in my tail!". If it took her 20 years she would get her "revenge" and although I am not as much like her in that way, I know I have inherited some of that trait in her nature. As for the "coolly synical"thing - well - yes I guess it was a meant as a compliment! Funny thing is, my partner is from Argentina, where people are renowned to be much more hot-tempered and "Latin" in temperament, and he is actually far quieter and cooler than I am - LOL!
• United States
8 Sep 07
i used to be easily angered because i did not know better. i got angered easily because i had no friends. now, i made friends and i am now happy. making a lot of true friends makes me happy. people that i call friends make me happy because they share a lot of things that i do in my life. i learned that it takes a lot of energy to be angry at someone. i asked myself, why would i even waste my time and energy to get angry? this is just not making sense so instead i just think of something that would make myself happy or just get rid of the bad emotion. getting angry is not a good thing to my life and my health. bad emotions affect my life because if i continue to think of bad emotions then some things in my life would be affected and i don't want to do this. just let the bad emotions go. it is just part of life. things just happen the way they do.
7 Sep 07
Yup I do get angry but very rarely... I once broke nose of my friend in my childhood and then I was never involved in aany kinda fights till date.... Coz it changed everything n I became a lot cool person after that... ANd now if I get angry on something I try to remember my girl frienz face coz it wipes off everything bad thing that evolved in mind.... Try doing that....I mean just remember the one you love the most when you are angry. Its hard but try it!!!
7 Sep 07
I have a horrible temper lol, I keep it under wraps mostly but there are times when it just gets away from me. Thankfully i have never blown up in front of my kids because I walk away before it gets that far but I do worry that one day my temper might flare when they are around. As for grudges, it depends on who has done what to me or my family. If its just something trivial like someone forgot to pick my kid up from school when they promised, yeah i get angry about it and mutter a while but then I let it go. For other things (such as the beatings my dad used to give me and my brothers and my mum) I will never forgive him. As he's ended up as a mental patient i don't really have to worry though so haha! at him for being a useless waste of space. I can forgive but sometimes I cannot forget. again this depends on what was done to me or mine in the first place.
8 Sep 07
Hi Sephrenia, and thank you for your contribution in this discussion :) And I am like you, mostly being able now to keep my temper inside and I am becoming better with each and every day. Your way of going out and away before you snap is the right move too. Maybe you should consider meditations and yoga to be able to control all of your emotions, and to be able to let go, whatever it is bothering you. And I am sorry that you had such a terrible father that abused you and your mother and siblings. He got punished by his karma probably, and losthis mind and together with it, his freedom. Now he cannothurt others anylonger.
7 Sep 07
i seldom freak out to people outside my family. who cares? as long as your interest does not interfere with mine. who cares? i expect my family to be honest to me.... honesty to me is telling someone pointblank that he/she displeases me...etc. and i really get angry at people who tries to defend themselves on commiting mistakes rather than saying sorry. well, anger.. it is one letter short of danger. I cant kill out of it, but it will kill me sure if i wont let it out