Do women really not get excited over good-looking men?

By Leca
@lecanis (16664)
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
September 13, 2007 2:00pm CST
Of course I'm assuming we're talking about straight or bi women here, who would be attracted to men. But I always see discussions by women talking about men looking at women, and I just don't get it. They always talk like they don't understand... but don't women get just as excited about looking at good-looking men as men do about good-looking women? Don't you ever just see a guy and go "Wow, he's hot"? Is there something wrong with me? I get just as excited when I see good-looking guys (or girls, since I'm bi) as men do over good-looking women? So why do so many women talk like they don't understand men looking at women? Do that many women actually not look at men?
17 people like this
40 responses
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
13 Sep 07
I don't very often however when I do I'll say something to my friend however if I'm with my hubby, I won't out of respect. I don't want to make him feel "less than" which he's not in no way shape or form. But yes I do look every now and then. I mean when I see a really good looking guy it's hard not to think "Wow. He's a good lookin dude."
4 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
13 Sep 07
I can understand not saying anything or looking obviously when you're with your partner. I've just heard so many women talk like they don't look at all, or they don't even understand it, that I was curious. Thanks for sharing with me! =)
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
13 Sep 07
I think they do look but don't want to admit it. lol
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
13 Sep 07
That could be true for some of them, but I'm sure there really are some people who just don't look. They must be the minority I'd think though! =P
@cyntrow (8524)
• United States
13 Sep 07
Oh, yes, I look. I love a hot looking man. I do think a lot of women do look and think it's fine. They just get mad when their sig others do the same. I think it's a double standard. A lot of it might also boil down to insecurity. if the woman's sig other is looking then she might be looking at herself as less of a looker.
2 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
Yup, it's definitely a double standard. I do think a lot of the reason women complain about it has to do with insecurity, but men have insecurities as well. I think if a woman has that much problem with her partner even looking at someone else, she really needs to work on her own self-esteem. =P
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
14 Sep 07
Speaking of that, I'll post my list friends, family and I complied that note these double standards (according to our experiences). Its supposed to be sharing of experience with some parts of sarcasm. Yet I wouldn't be surprised if someone sent my rating to 1 when I post it.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
Wow, I would love to see that list! Sounds very interesting!
@sunshinecup (7880)
14 Sep 07
Girl I have looked at a man and acted no different than a worker at a construction site. Yes I have looked at a man and thought as well as said many things. Let me see a nice built guy in some faded blue jeans facing away from me, and I will make him blush, let me tell ya. :oP What is worse about us women is the fact we don't just look, comment and go on, oh no we take that permanent snap shot that stays with us for life. Then we can look back and still comment more on him. LOL And I tell ya something else, the older women get the worse they are at it. My own mother and mother in law both are worse then I am and have walked up to men just to tell them how good looking they are.
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
14 Sep 07
"Girl I have looked at a man and acted no different than a worker at a construction site" LOL yea same here!!
2 people like this
• United States
13 Sep 07
I've never been one who goes crazy when I see a good-looking guy. I mean, if I see one I may think "he's cute", or whatever. But it's not like I get excited or anything like that. I only get all hot and bothered when I know the person already and we have great chemistry. But never have I gotten like that for a stranger.
2 people like this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
Hmm, that's interesting. You're not the first person to say that either. I guess there are just lots of different kinds of people, on this issue as well as many others. =)
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
14 Sep 07
LOL thats actually a really good question cause you are SO RIGHT...I dont get it either to be honest with you cause I've even heard women "catcall" to a good looking guy yet like you said women seem to love yammering about men checkin women out etc etc..I know that I have on more than one occasion been stopped in my tracks when a hot lookin guy walks by...and I've stared and drooled too LOL any woman who says a gorgeous (by their standards since we all have different beliefs as to what is gorgeous) guy doesnt catch her eye IMO is full of it....
2 people like this
@xParanoiax (6997)
• United States
24 Oct 07
I don't now about there being many, but I'm one of the few who can be a bit indifferent. I mean sure, I go people-watching out in malls, or in restauraunts (of course I'll be shopping or eating too! I'm not that creepy lol)...and I admire beauty as much as the next person, but by the end of the day...there's nothing to hold my attention to particular people. Unless I've spoken with them, of course. I'm not calling those who remark and discuss beauty amongst themselves shallow...I'm not completely indifferent to this regard. I admire models like Dita, or Apnea..or an actor like Johnny Depp and could carry on a decent conversation about them...but I don't do this frequently. I need a little something more to catch my interest. Sure, I'll notice someone if I find them attractive, but it's a rare person who captivates my attention for longer than a minute if I don't know them. *shrugs* I always thought I was weird 'cause of it, but you know..maybe not? I have no idea.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
24 Oct 07
I don't think it's weird, or that you are, just that everyone is different. =P Now that I think about it, I have two completely separate ways to become interested. 1) I might become interested because I find someone physically attractive. 2) I might become interested because I find someone intellectually stimulating. Granted, it's always better if someone can do both of these things for me! But most of my real "crushes" tend to come from the internet, where people say something intelligent or witty and get my attention! =P
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
24 Oct 07
Speaking of being excited, your avatar sort of does it for me. =P
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Oct 07
Lol ^_^ aw, you flatter me, hun. Or you're flattering the picture, whichever lol. *nods* Almost all of my past lovers originated from meeting on the internet :) I dunno..I think it's different on the internet meeting someone than as one would normally. I mean at first then it might not be looks, but something that intellectually catches you, or..just a feeling which they give off from across the distance. Of course sometimes there's people who just give off an air as we pass them too, and in an instant they have you. It's interesting how it works, and how we all react differently.
1 person likes this
@kiobug (2250)
• United States
24 Oct 07
I dont really think I do unless its leading to intimacy with my boyfriend or if I am in a really lovey mood. I think its more about the physical aspects and you can seem them more on girls then boys. On girls you can see their boobs and curves and what not, on boys its more of a basic perimeter.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
24 Oct 07
Hmm, that leads to the question of what gets you excited I guess. Because I can get really excited over a nice pair of bedroom eyes, or a pretty smile, on either gender, without even seeing the body they're attached to. =p
1 person likes this
@kiobug (2250)
• United States
24 Oct 07
No offense but maybe you are more in touch with sexuality then I am. But I am also very picky about peoples looks. I hardly ever find people attractive.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
24 Oct 07
*laughs* No offense taken. I will easily admit to being in touch with my sexuality. In fact, considering the things I have been through in my life, I take great pride in the fact that I have still managed to come to terms with and be in touch with my own sexuality. It has been a great struggle for me, and I wear the "pervert" badge with pride. =p It's true also that I might not be as picky as some. I can find something to be attracted to in many people. If I never get to know a person I might say "Wow that person is HOT!" and then they might never come into my mind again. So it's harmless. However, if I actually have conversation with someone and they have other traits I enjoy (wit, intelligence, etc), then they might become fodder for my fantasies. And I have quite the fantasies! ;)
1 person likes this
@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
15 Oct 07
I have no problem - its an ego thing really I think. If your self esteem is low then you're going to feel jealous - otherwise you know that they're just appreciating beauty - like a flower, architecture, painting etc. There's nothing wrong with you. I guess its guys who look because they're scoping out their snack to come back to later when they're hungry when its a problem.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
15 Oct 07
*laughs* Well, how do you know I don't look for those reasons? *smirks* I like what you said bout appreciating beauty, though, that's nice. And jealousy is really a silly thing, in my opinion. I've never really understood it. Either you trust your partner, or you don't, and if you don't, why are you in the relationship?
2 people like this
• Abernathy, Texas
15 Oct 07
OMg your last statement - I believe in wholeheartedly. If I ever really and truly suspected my husband of cheating - I would leave - without finding out. Because either he is - and that means he's been lying - I can't stand lying - or I'm obviously not whole enough in the esteem and trust area to be in a relationship. You're right - I shouldn't have just said guys may be scoping out what's on the menu - girl's may too. Like that 'old' (how can that song be old - wasn't it just yesterday) song that has the line "you can look at the menu but you just can't eat". Howard Jones - No one ever is to blame?
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
15 Oct 07
Yup, that works either way for me too! Even if there were nothing really going on, the fact that I suspected would mean my trust level wasn't right. My husband and I sometimes watch that horrid show called "Cheaters" and we'll just be like "Why do people even stay in relationships where there is that little trust?" *laughs* I just like to look. Whether I'm in a relationship or not, if I see someone attractive of either gender, I'm going to look. I've had a few jealous partners, and it didn't work for me, because I can't stand thinking I don't even have control over my own EYES! =P
2 people like this
• United States
14 Sep 07
Oh yes. If I see a good looking man I stop and look and I think , Yummy!Maybe it is a generation thing. My mom said that a woman does look but she doesn't let on that she is checking a guy out.I am more like the guys in the movie Broken Hearts Club. They would say "Meanwhile" when a good looking guy walked by. It was guys because they are gay.I love that by saying meanwhile , everyone can stop and see the vision walk by.I don't understand why women get upset when their guy looks, just looks at a beautiful woman pass by.Maybe because my mom would point them out to my dad.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
Yup, I like that movie too. The "meanwhile" thing is good!! I guess part of why I don't get this is because my husband and I both look at the same people sometimes. *laughs*
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Sep 07
Maybe you should start saying meanwhile with him.Oh, did he see the movie? Would he understand?
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
I'm not sure if he's seen it. I'll have to get him to watch it if he hasn't! =p That could be a lot of fun! =)
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
14 Sep 07
From my experience I believe you are correct in your premise Lecan. Heck all I have to do is look at my exes exes or the people my exes finally parasited, (I meant "landed") on (pretty boys, thugs and handsome but very empty vases). Also my encounters on the ever mind-rotting dating scene also tend toward this. Don't get me started on former female co-worker's conduct toward the better looking guys. So, at least in my observation, yes plenty of women of prime ages can be superficial, despite delusions to the contrary.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
Eww, I didn't exactly mean women who actually make dating choices just based off looks. I've never been that type. Just because I think someone is pretty or handsome doesn't mean I want to be with them, and I certainly wouldn't be with a pretty boy who had no personality, or a bad one. =P Ha, I could say some pretty funny things about my coworkers conduct towards certain customers as well. Totally childish sometimes!
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
14 Sep 07
Well your words do bring me some comfort Lecan. Maybe it's just this backwards where I'm at, or maybe I just attract or interact with too many brain-drains. Ah well, back to my weekend! Enjoy youself Lecan! + rating for you.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
Yup, I think I knew plenty of those brain-drains too! For me, that's one of the things I like about talking to people online. I can get to know them before I even see what they look like! I met my husband online, and what I noticed first about him was his wit. =P You have a good evening as well. +'s for you of course!
@hillock (749)
• Qatar
1 Nov 07
of course women look at good looking men. its just that usually men look at girls's a**!. while women tend to look just the face or the body[if he is hot!]
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
1 Nov 07
Hmmm I like taking in the full effect myself, whether it's a man or a woman I'm looking at. ;) But yes, women do talk about faces a lot more. And I've heard way too many men make comments like "Maybe from behind" or "You could just put a bag over her head" when looking at women with sexy bodies and not-so-nice faces. *laughs*
@hillock (749)
• Qatar
2 Nov 07
Thats definitely true. in some instances when they just happen to see just the back of a girl they would bet if she's pretty or not! LOL!
1 person likes this
• Canada
25 Oct 07
Hi lecanis, You are not alone trust me lol. When I see a good looking man it's almost embarassing lol. I go beet red, I can't stop smiling and I usually do something stupid while captivated by their hotness lol. One time I walked by a hot guy, my face went red, I couldn't stop smiling and I ran right into a shopping cart, talk about embarassing. Now that I have gotten married all the hot guys that would get me that embarassed have seem to of disappeared. Either that or they don't effect me as much anymore becaus emy hubby is the one for me! Love & Hugzz, Your Friend, PurpleTeddyBear.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
27 Oct 07
Haha, I love that, ran into a shopping cart! Silly! Must have been really hot! =P I must admit I am still affected... I hope it doesn't mean my hubby isn't the one for me. *giggles*
1 person likes this
@topei12 (272)
• Philippines
27 Oct 07
I don't think they really get excited about it, but probably more of interested to know and be friends. I wonder if that's the same with men?
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
27 Oct 07
Hmm, I dunno, I get excited about it. I must just be weird. I know a lot of men who get excited about it. You can see them adjusting themselves after you walk by, if you're good at catching it. =P
1 person likes this
@anuj291 (575)
• India
25 Sep 07
well that is a thing which u all women can answer well,,cuz me a guy and ya obv gets very excited in seein a hot girl,,and even i have has this doubt till now,,,do women get excited and discuss about guys passin by or somethin like we guys generally do,,as every one knows about that.. thnx tc
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
25 Sep 07
Well, I'm female and I certainly do get excited like that. It also seems that the majority of the responders agree with me, so that answers your question! =P
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
14 Sep 07
It's actually hard NOT to look at a good looking man.. just like the other morning I was coming back from my morning powerwalk and slow jog and I saw this middle aged man, maybe early 40s, with no t-shirt on, walking his dog, he was all cut-up meaning had a six pack and muscular upper body.... my eyes were all over him LOL and I'm sure everyone else around me did the same thing. I admit that I do look at good looking men all the time and i don't see anything wrong with it. It's when men start looking at you and making whistling sounds and trying to chat you up when you're walking by, now thats when I start to hate men for doing that!
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
Hehe, yup it is hard not to look! I've had partners who were jealous before, and that just doesn't work for me, because I can't not look. =P There is a big difference between looking and harassing though, that's a good point.
• United States
14 Sep 07
A few weeks ago I was thinking to myself that I haven't seen a guy that pops my cork in a long time. I thought maybe that when you hit the big Five O that you lose the ability to notice. That theory was quickly gone when I was in the building of one of my clients and I passed this hunka hunk coming down the hall. He was tall, great build and had curly hair. What an adonnis. He was like fried chicken...finger lickin good.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
Hehe, great to see that you didn't lose your ability to notice! I love the way you put that... finger lickin good! =P
@ssf12ster (489)
• India
14 Sep 07
men look at women women look at women.this is what i have seen.take care dear
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
That's an interesting theory! =p I suppose I wouldn't expect straight women to look at other women so much.
• United States
14 Sep 07
No, I don't respond to a man's outward appearance in that way. If I see a man who has nice features I wait to see what his personality is like; if I like his personality then he is handsome. Maybe it's because I don't really dwell on looks and I never refer to a man as "hot" or "sexy". I personally don't want to be called "hot"...I'd much rather be called beautiful but not because of my looks, because of my personality. I don't really understand how some girls can make major judgements about men based on their outward appearance. That's just my thought on the matter.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
Wow, I guess you're just too deep for me. =P I don't make major judgements about men based only on appearance either. I wasn't really talking about how you choose people to actually date, but just noticing someone in public or whatever. I would never be with someone just because they were sexy!
• United States
13 Sep 07
Hey I love looking at good looking guys and yes I do say to myself... whoa he's hot. I think what most women object to, me included is that men are much more vocal and cruder about it than women are. I might whisper something to a girlfriend about "I wouldn't kick that out of bed" but I would never say that out loud to anyone else. I don't mind and find it rather flattering if a guy looks in my direction but I really hate it when they yell out at me and make a loud comment about a part of my anatomy. Like they honestly think that is going to get my attention? Like I would even consider going out with a loudmouth twit who has the manners of a neanderthal? Get real! If the guy looked like Johnnie Depp and did that it would immediately turn me off. No nothing wrong with you hon, we all like a good looker. :D
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
Hehe, you have a good point about the difference between noticing and being a loudmouth twit about it! =) Glad to know there's nothing wrong with me! Hehe.
1 person likes this
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
13 Sep 07
I get excited by a good looking guy, but I have to admit that most of the guys I think are attractive get a "huh?" response from everyone else. Except for Johnny Depp who is incredibly gorgeous and everyone seems to know it.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
14 Sep 07
Yup, that happens to me a lot too. I work with a lot of other females, and most of the guys they are attracted to just don't interest me, and vice versa. My taste must just be strange. =p Though of course I agree with you on Johnny Depp. Strange that you mentioned him, my husband and I were just arguing over him a couple days ago. My husband doesn't seem to think he's attractive at all... which surprised me a little. (Eh, my husband is bi too, so yeah... we have lots of fun discussing who we find attractive.)