I'm trying really hard to let go.
By Lifez2short
@Lifez2short (4962)
United States
September 13, 2007 5:44pm CST
I have a great son who will be 9 October 2nd. And he really is a good boy he listens at home and at school. All of his teachers love him and say he is doing so well. He is very respectful and for the most part does what he is told to do. Well with him getting older he wants to play outside with his friends from school. And we do have a nice sized back yard and I have let him play there with his sisters before. But he now wants to go play in the alley way with all of the other boys. I trust he will be OK and know what to do if something happens. But I just have this hard time letting him go out there. I did yesterday while I sat in the back yard watching him and today he played in the alley for about a hour. I just worry so much about him. So after dinner he asked if he could go back out and I told if he keeps proving to me that he is responsible enough to play there I will allow it more. I know I have to let him grow up but I just worry so much about him. Please tell me I'm doing the right thing.
4 people like this
12 responses
@chertsy (3797)
• United States
14 Sep 07
It's natural for a parent to worry about her kids. You wouldn't be a good parent if you didn't. He's still 8 going on 9, so I would let him go, but keep a close eye on him. Maybe ask him if he can get his friends to come over and play in the back yard were it is a lot safer than playing in an alley.
My kids are on a set schedule. They do homework then they can go out and play. After dinner it's bathtime, maybe 30 mins-hour they can watch tv then off to bed. Weekends are different of course.
So don't worry your doing a great job. I'm 31 and my mom still worries about me, lol.
1 person likes this
@biggerb (2024)
• India
14 Sep 07
I think you should just let him go.Just keep an eye as to who his friends are.If you know that they are okay i dont think you should stop him.Children need to get out make friends mingle with other children and in the process he will become more responsible and independent.we cant just hold on to them.
1 person likes this
@usmcsgtwife (4997)
• United States
14 Sep 07
yes I know excatly how you feel, my daughter just turned 9 on Sept 11th and she is very independent, always wanting to be outside with friends and dancing and singing.. I miss the times when she actually liked playing with barbies and dolls.... but I think you are doing the right thing you seem like a great mother
1 person likes this
@TheCatzMeow1 (579)
• United States
14 Sep 07
It's hard to let go and let them grow. I think that's a big part of us "loosening up the leash a bit" (hate to say it that way). It's not so much that we don't trust them, but we're afraid of them slipping away and growing up on us. You know your son better than anyone else. If there's a part of you that's saying "ok, we'll give this a try" then your subconscious mind is saying he's big enough to give it a try.
It hurts me to watch my soon to be 5 year old standing at the edge of his boundaries watching the bigger kids run up and down the street and sidewalk. They do come down and play with him for a few minutes here and there, but I see how upset he gets when they don't run to his beck and call. In a way, I can't wait until he gets old enough to loosen his boundaries for his sake. That doesn't mean I'll be ready for it when the time does come. LOL Parenting is the hardest thing in the world!
1 person likes this
@happythoughts (4109)
• United States
14 Sep 07
It would be hard for me too. My kids are getting older and want to play out side more. We are now looking into buying a new house so they have a yard to play in. We let the kids play in our house or with families we know well. We wont let them run the neighbor hood yet. It is a scary world out there and even if our kids are staying out of trouble it does not mean that trouble wont come for them.
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
17 Sep 07
I would say you are doing a good job. Learning is the basis of responsibility. The more he learns how to do things and what you expect from him the better he will be. You also have to stand your ground. Don't be one of those parents who constantly says "If you do... you will be punished...etc follow through with what you say. I have seen too many parents not follow through with an action so the kids soon figures out that the parent doesn't mean what they say.
1 person likes this
@Lifez2short (4962)
• United States
17 Sep 07
He knows he will be punished if he does not listen to my rules.
@runsgame (2031)
• India
30 Sep 07
well you are right in your action and thought . try to motivate him at all levels. he will become wonderful person when he grows. further i appreciate your way of approach with your son . it is really good for him as well as all . keep it up and be happy
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
30 Sep 07
Yes – kids grow up fast! My daughter wants more independence often. She is 11. I only let her go and play where I know it’s safe. We live in the country so there are no alleys-
When I think of alleys- I think of dirty- unsafe places- but I’m sure this is not the case- or you would not let him go.
I’d say if you trust him and trust the other kids he is with- letting him go play more alone- would be fine- remind him that you are trusting him to be a good boy and not get into trouble.
@bestisyettocome (1531)
• United States
14 Sep 07
Letting go is very difficult! I think as long as you can see him from your backyard, it's probably fine to allow him to play in the alley. Try also to find some fun things for the boys to do IN your yard. Water balloon fights, egg toss, look some stuff up on the net that would be fun for boys your son's age. Your house and yard just may be the "hangout". Then he'll never be far away!
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
14 Sep 07
Sounds like to me you are doing great so far with this lifez3short. My son is only 5 and I have a very hard time letting him go on anything and everything and I still do if he was 9 as well. By you still supervising and watching over him all the while letting him have a bit of space is great! You are doing the right thing as far as I know and by explaining to him about being responsible and all, sounds like your doing a great job my friend.
1 person likes this
@marcialoyd (1173)
• United States
14 Sep 07
He is only nine and in my opinion is not quite ready to play unsupervised but that is just my opinion. There is so much you have to worry about now days in this mad world we live in. You have to worry about kidnapping and worse.
1 person likes this
@meanangel (167)
• United States
14 Sep 07
You are doing the right thing. It is not about letting him grow up. It's about keeping him safe! You are being responsible as a parent should be. My ex let my daughter go to the neighbors house by herself and when I found out I almost exploded. She is 6 and wants to be independent I want her to stay alive.
You are a loving, carring mother. Never doubt that concern for your children is the right thing no matter how old they get.
1 person likes this
