Traditional Evil Stepmother or Not...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
September 19, 2007 6:33am CST
Do you have a Stepmother? Is she the traditional evil stepmother or is a really good one?
My Dad remarried a couple years after he and my Mom divorced. We met her about a year after they were married. At the time, I didn't like her much b/c I viewed her as someone that was keeping my parents apart although that wasn't true. I guess I had to blame someone. I spent a total of about 5-6 years off and on living with my Dad, Stepmom and my sister and brother. She did really good as a Stepmom. Now that I'm older and look back I realize how amazing she was. Not only was she a new wife with a new baby but she had to deal with an ex-wife and two kids that resented her. Looking back I know it couldn't have been easy.
She did a great job though. She took us on long bike rides, taught us card games, started teaching us how to cook, taught us manners and gave us a good and happy home while we lived there. I don't know where she got her strength from but she was stronger then I ever realized when I lived there. I still call and talk to her and we have long talks about anything and everything.
Do you look up to stepmother? What do you admire most about her? Do you think if you were suddenly the stepmother, you could handle it?
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
7 people like this
17 responses
@sizzle3000 (3036)
• United States
19 Sep 07
This is a great story. I do not have a step mother. I do have a step father. Although I have never called him that or even thought of him as that. The man that raised me and loved me unconditionally is my father in all ways that count. The man married my mom when I was four years old and I was adopted when I was five. I knew all along that he was a special man. He took me as his own child and loved me and taught me the important things in life. When it comes right down to it the other man was just a sperm donor. My daddy taught me how to ride a bike, get my first job and drive a car. He was there when I had major health issues. He was at the hospital when my daughter was born. The man I call daddy is more than just a dad he is a daddy. He taught me what love really is. He was my dad because he wanted me and loves me not because of an accident of birth. This makes our relationship very strong.
I am glad that you had a great step mother. Step parents to not always turn out to be as good as yours and mine but there are a few very special people out there.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
19 Sep 07
I have never been in that situation, twoey, since I barely knew my father. I think it is wonderful of you to honor your stepmother in such a way. I do realize from stories I've heard that it is often a thankless job. I became a stepmother when I married my last husband many years ago, but was never allowed a role in the children's lives. The marriage only lasted a couple of years, so, I guess it was all for the best. I was reunited with two of my stepsons several years ago, and we found that we liked each other very well. It seems that absent the influence of their mother they got to know me for who I really am. I believe that anyone who truly loves children is a potentially good stepmother, given the chance.
2 people like this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
20 Sep 07
It sounds like your father has great taste in wives.Your stepmother sounds wonderful.And that instead of losing a father, you gained another mother. That is what should happen.I didn't have a step parent.And I don't think I could be one. I am not the mother type.So if I fell for a guy with kids, we wouldn't get married. I would see him whenever his kids are with their mom. And you know what? That would be great.I could be his retreat from the kids.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
20 Sep 07
Oops.My response was posted twice. I am sorry. ps. If i had a boyfriend with kids I would always know that his kids would come first.
1 person likes this
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
22 Sep 07
I am glad for you. My dad remarried after my parents divorce. I am the closetest to her than my two sisters. But she is a basket case. She is a mean bushy witch with a B. She treats my dad like crap and my sisters worst. She has hit my dad and called him horrible. At times she will not let us see our father or talk to him on the telephone. My dad fell and broke his hip and she waited two days to call us, but she called her family and her prayer group. She also gave us strict orders to only let one of us call him on one day. WE did not do that. She kicked him out to the house once so he drove to see my twin. He stayed two weeks and then went home. She was so mad becasue she did not know where he was. She told him to get out and leave the house for two weeks so he did.
She has accused on of my brother in-laws of being a bad host to her. He is the most gracious host I have ever seen. I think she is jealous of us, she has told our dad that we do not love him. She has drove a wedge between us and our dad and I feel that is sad.
She has bad health so she will die before my dad so we will have to ourselves again one of these days.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
20 Sep 07
I came close to becoming a stepmother but my man was killed before we were to be married. When we were dating, I always always always told him that his boys came before me because they're his kids and kids have just about no say in what ever situation they're thrown into. The only time that I would come first is if I were sick and in dire straights and his kids were fine but that's the only time other than that, his kids came first. I loved his boys, we'd wrestle and kid around with each other all the time. One had a ferret in which stunk when he brought it and I would meet him at the truck and ask for it by it's name so I could give it a bath before it ran around my house and he'd laugh this wide ole grin and hand him over. We really had some good times.
1 person likes this
@wisconsin26 (3859)
• United States
19 Sep 07
No I don't have a step mom or a step Dad... I don't think if I did I could handle it either. In my eyes I see I only have one mom and one dad and no one will ever take their place.. If to say I were a child's step mom I think I'd do a good job of it but I would never try and take the place of their real mom... That's just me though...
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
20 Sep 07
It sounds like your father has great taste in wives.Your stepmother sounds wonderful.And that instead of losing a father, you gained another mother. That is what should happen.I didn't have a step parent.And I don't think I could be one. I am not the mother type.So if I fell for a guy with kids, we wouldn't get married. I would see him whenever his kids are with their mom. And you know what? That would be great.I could be his retreat from the kids.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
19 Sep 07
I have never had a stepmother, that I know of. Who knows what my dad did after he left my mom over thirty years ago. If I were a stepmom, I would probably treat them the same as my nieces and nepews.
Which is basically the same way your stepmother treated you. I love to play card games and teach kids new things. Kids are such a joy to be around.
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
20 Sep 07
I am a step-mother. I love my step-kids dearly. I honestly wish I could take them home with me for good! they love coming to my house and spending time there and it breaks my heart that I can't see them without their dad. I am very strict in my house and they understand that, but I am very loving and very kind to them. I guess that is why they like coming over because I don't yell. Their mom yells and screams and rants and raves about every little thing. It's not good for small children to live in that environment. I started out that way, but quickly learned that my parents way doesn't have to be my way.
1 person likes this
@jezzmay (1845)
• United States
20 Sep 07
I am glad you had that kind of stepmom.The one I had
you really do not want to remember.She shot and killed
my father.Even if he did do what she said,did she need
to kill him.Could she have stopped him some other way.
Unanswered questions.Noone talks about it,they say let
it go.
1 person likes this
@alamode (3071)
• United States
20 Sep 07
My stepmother was a good loving person who helped my Pop through some rough times, and gave me a bunch of new sisters and brothers! My siblings didn't see it that way, but THEY missed out on some great times and good people!
She's been gone many years now, and Pop went to be with her. I know they're happy again!
1 person likes this
@libertarianfreedom21 (3198)
• United States
19 Sep 07
my mom and dad divorced when i was 5 years old and my dad has married divorced and remarried. My first step mom was a real you know I was always grounded and never could go anywhere. My second and current one is fake, my dad converted into a christain and she claims to be one too but she cuses and stuff when he isnt around. She throw tea at my sister b4 and cused her out. I'm a step mom though and I try to be the best I can be to my step son. I hope he dont look at me as evil HE HE HE just joking. lol
1 person likes this
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
20 Sep 07
I don't have a stepmom. But I heard and watched a lot of stories about "evil stepmoms" which makes their step children's lives miserable. If ever I cross the bridge and have a second husband, I will make it sure that he is the right one not only for me but for my kids so my children will not suffer the trauma of having a "evil stepdad".
@MySpot (2600)
• United States
19 Sep 07
I had the a-typical evil step-mom... she was mean and treated me differently and worse than her own children. She treated my dad like crap too so I guess she was just a meanie! I called her the step-witch. Luckily, I only lived with my dad and her for less than a year and they eventually parted ways too.
My step-dad was the best thing that ever happened to my mom and me & my sisters though... so it totally makes up for having to deal with her for the few years she was with my dad. My step-dad is still with my mom too!
1 person likes this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
19 Sep 07
Hi twoey!I grew up with a stepdad. At first I didnt like him at all. But as the years went by I started feeling good about him. He always tried to make me happy. Now today I look at him as my real father. Im glad to have him in my life.
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
19 Sep 07
I am the evil stepmother in my family, I joined my b/f family of many children (7 children in all) and it has NOT been an easy task the past year, all the children immediately hated me, except the little ones, and they hate me when they get around their older sisters that say mean things about me, it is a constant battle in this house, no one wants to come here cause I am here, I can't help it, I am as nice as I can be, but none of them are happy, they would prefer their father be with their mother (but that would be kind of hard, since their mother ran off with the contractor working on their house while they were still married).
1 person likes this
