Grandma at a distance

@carolbee (16231)
United States
September 20, 2007 7:51am CST
What a challenge to have grandchildren out of state. We have two, boy and girl, who live nearly 1,200 miles away. Our daughter and her husband moved when she was pregnant with the first baby. He's now 2 1/2. She recently had a baby girl. I was there for her birth and what an exciting experience. What is difficult, in my opinion, is only being able to see the grandkids every few months. Although I do realize the quality of time is more important than the quantity. Sometimes making the mind believe that theory isn't easy. It's all about adjustment. Since I can't change their location, they will never be back in my area because of the weather, I've had to deal with being a long distant grandma. Other grandparents out there have the same or similiar issue? Thanks and have a great day, carolbee
1 person likes this
4 responses
@carlaabt (3505)
• United States
21 Sep 07
My husband is in the military and we are stationed about 1100 miles from home right now. My mom really wishes we were closer so she could seem my 19 month old more often. She does talk to him on the phone at least a couple of times every week, though. He brings me the phone sometimes and says "I wan' Nahma!" He loves talking to her, and even agrees to talk to my dad sometimes, but not as often. He calls him "Grumpy" for a reason. lol We do send lots of pictures to my parents and my husband's parents. His parents don't seem to care as much, but maybe it's just because they're not as close to my husband as I am to my mom and little sister (she still lives at home). When my son colors pictures, I send them to my parents sometimes. My parents have them on the fridge, just like they would if we lived closer. My mom sends him cards for holidays, and letters just because sometimes. He likes to look at the cards, and I am sure he will like the letters once he is big enough to read them.
1 person likes this
@carolbee (16231)
• United States
21 Sep 07
Sounds like you are keeping in touch with your parents on a constant basis. Is great for not only your parents and sister but your immediate family too to keep in close touch. Am sure they miss your little guy growing up, as I do mine. We learn to adjust in time and deal with what life tosses our direction but sometimes it's not easy! Thanks for posting a comment to my initial post. I can get an idea about how it feels to be on the other side of the coin. Take care.
• United States
20 Sep 07
I am not a grandma but grew up the kid of an Army soldier, we were away from my grnadmas so much of my young life. I did miss both of them terribly. However, I had one grandma who had some tricks. She worte letters to us. She'd take a few minutes every day or two and write just a couple of liines telling us what she and grandpa were up to, what the animals were up to and that they loved us. Then when the letter was a couple of pages long, she'd mail them to us. Pictures of course too. But in today's world, and assuming that you and/or they can't video each other online, here's a great idea. They now have one time use video cameras. They record about 20 minutes worth. When you uget them developed you can get a vcr tape or cd. Why don't you guys exchange those once in a while and for special occasions. They are about $30 here, not dirt cheap, ut hey, if you could WATCH the birthday party, wouldn't it be worth it. A video of you telling the kids how much you love them and miss them would be a cherished posession I am sure. Make sure both you and grandpa get in it lol. It is really hard to be so far from your grands, I missed them then and I miss them now that they have gone on. But I still have some of the letters. Even now when I read them, I feel so close to them still. Nothing spectacular or special, just everyday stuff. Somehow those are the most special ones. Like the ones where she'd write, "I thought of you today when I saw (whatever)".
1 person likes this
@carolbee (16231)
• United States
21 Sep 07
Thanks for your ideas and comments. Your suggestion of daily routine or thoughts sound like a great idea to put in a letter. Haven't thought of that one! We bought our daughter a video camera but she hasn't made any dvd's and sent to us. I am disappointed but will continue to wait. Thanks again.
• United Arab Emirates
21 Sep 07
I can understand your feelings. I have a 3 yr old son. My parents are very far from me. I see them only once in a year or so. They were with me during my delivery and till the baby was 1 month old. Then I got a chance to be with them for few more months when my kid was nearing his second birthday. After that I could not see them. He will be 3 years old this october. My parents miss my son so much that they are always looking for a trip to me. I believe children should get love from their grandparents too. They should know the love of their both grand parents. 'Love' is the best we can give our children.
@carolbee (16231)
• United States
21 Sep 07
Yes, love is the best we can give our children and grandchildren. Next would be understanding, in my opinion. Are you able to get away and go visit your parents with your son? As a grandma I would think it's harder for a child, who is raising their children, to not have the help or advice from grandma or grandpa. Am sure it's difficult on you as well. Have a good weekend. Keep your chin up! Carolbee
@carissa765 (1098)
• United States
21 Sep 07
My mom is a long distance grandma, but it was because she had to move. Not because I moved. She had to move to a warmer climate due to my fathers health.. She likes where she lives, and it kills her to not be able to see the kids as much as she used to. She is actually up on visit right now. I have seen her on 3 separate occasions now, and she has only seen the kids one time, and she is upset, but she understands. With as much as I work it is hard to get there to my grandmas house to see her with the children. Thanks for this topic, I needed to express how this is going, and did not know how to start the topic, so you have helped me greatly..
@carolbee (16231)
• United States
21 Sep 07
Hi Carissa, So glad I could help you with my initial post. It's hard on the parents and grandparents to be away from what they know as "home." Our daughter moved away right after college as her husband had a job offer out of state. They had their first baby 15 months after their marriage. I/we try to visit about every 4 months. I miss the little guy and watching his daily experiences. Well, as much as a 2 1/2 yr. old can experience which is usually mischief of some sort. Is so much fun to watch him tootle around the house. It trips my memory back to when his mama was a little girl. Take care and hope your father's health has improved somewhat since they moved. Carolbee