Problems with your parents =(

I too cannot understand how people drift apart after 22 years of marriage. You my friend must be hurting a lot, but be brave for your mother who has given him 22 years service and love and to see this day. Tell her that whatever happens is for the best and that you will look after her. If she is financially independent, then that will help. If not, tell her she will be cared for. People can be such beast at times. Remember dear, this too shall pass away. Be brave and face the situation like a ture warrior. Life plays many a mean tricks on us and we have to face them. I know this will make you more mature. If you brother is small, give him the love and strength too. Between the three of you, you can beat the blues. Find the strength in each other and live to smile another day.

no, your not overreacting at all. I'm very sorry that you are having to go through that. My real Dad has never been around for me and I'm 28 years old almost, so for advice...i probably wouldn't be able to help to much. After 27 years of trying to get my Dad to be a dad, I finally told him that i washed my hands of him and that he has always been a crappy father. your situation is different though. it's a tough call. i'm sure you'll find the answer. you need to grieve and let some of the hurt and anger go before you make any rash decisions though.

First you are not overreacting. And just because you are an adult doesn't make this any easier to go through.All I can say is I'm sorry. And the best thing to do is spend all your spare time with your mom.The best thing about being an adult when this happened is that you can be a friend to your mom. Be a sounding board.Is there something that you two always wanted to do but you couldn't because your dad didn't want you two to do or you didn't make the time to do? If so , now is the time to do it.Or at least try to get her out of the house for a few hours.Maybe you can see a movie or do lunch. Something to get her mind off it for a little while. And then you can have a girls night in where you see a women gets revenge movie and let her vent and the you get to vent.And maybe you and your brother can go over and have dinner with mom once a week.I hope it gets better. Take care.

It's tough for the family when there is a separation. It's even more heartbreaking knowing that this is about to happen after 22 long years of marriage. Normally, the longer a couple is married, the more they have a feeling of endearment towards each other. Understanding a situation like this where it is going the opposite way is certainly difficult for you. Maybe your father fell out of love with your mum over some irreconcilable difference or issue. Is there an external party who has influenced your father and is luring him away from the family? If you father is well-to-do, perhaps a third party may be after his money... I don't know and I'm just speculating, because sometimes, these things happen to more elderly males. Have you spoken to your father over this issue to find out the real reasons for him wanting a separation? Since he initiated the separation, at least he should offer a valid reason to the family, and not just decide to walk out. Understanding the reasons may help you and your mum come to terms with the reality of the situation. Perhaps counselling may help if there is an opportunity for the marriage to be salvaged, but the real reasons for the separation need to be understood first. If all else fails, your mother needs you (and any other children) to be there for her. You all need to draw closer to her and keep the bond as a family. What your mother needs is love, warmth, assurance and the knowledge that she still has a closely-knit family with her, to live through her days ahead. It will take time to heal the wounds, and family support is of utmost importance at this time. My wife's father divorced from her mother when she (my wife) was only a teenager. She and her sister grew up without the love of her father, who later found another woman to live with. Her mother brought both her children up into good filial adults. No doubt she must have suffered and labored along the way, but the family bonding was strong and that helped soothed the pain of separation. My wife's father passed away more than 4 years ago. I have lived with my mother-in-law in my household for many years, and I sense all this while that she had long gotten over the separation and life for her had moved on normally, and this is probably all because the family was drawn closer and stuck together through all the years after the initial separation. I believe this will also help in your mother's situation. I hope your family situation will improve with time.

Hi nmhschic2004, I am so sorry to heard on this news. If i meet this situation, sure i will be very sad. So, i think you are not overracting. Since your dad already make decision to divorce, so he will not listen to anyone at this moment because that someone is more important for him. Whatewver you tell him at this moment, he will seem you like a stranger and said you want to make his new relationship worst. So you as his child, you can't do anything. But the thing you need to do is accompany your mother because she will lonely at now. Hence, just accept this fact because we just a child for them because that is their life which can't change by anyone. hope you can recover soon from this sadness.

I very much sympathize with your experience,and we were born the same year .Ihope you can strong enough to face anf proplem. Ibelieve that all will be better .Come on.heihei.

every one has a right to feel this kind of emotion being hurt doesnt mean that you have to be young to be affected, in your case its verry hard, but things happened without our control,you should be strong and give your mom a full support she should be most affected in this situation, if you show her that you are down then she will be more down,you are adult now and try to stand for your family, show to your dad that you and your family are much worthy than the one he choose.and learn to fight for the right of your family mostly fenancialy,and live thing at it is. dont keep bannging your head by this.im sure things will get better. for you and your family. no matter what happened stand hard. and be strong.

you know what.. we've experienced the same problem. But you know what you're still lucky enought because still he's with you for the past 22 years. In my part my parents also separated when i was 5 years old. My dad find my other girls with my mom leaves us to my grandma.. Both of them didnt care about our future. I think yours is better because atleast he didnt left at your young age. Still he assisted you with you younger years with the financial and other needs. He still cares for you still. But like you i also cant understand why they can leave their family for other girl. At my age now(20y/o) i'm still mad at my father, so obviously.. you're not overreacting. ok! But you know what did.. Actually i can't do anything to solve it because as they we're telling us.. We are only they son/daughter.. so what i did.. i just go with the flow.. my life should continue without their help. You know what it serves as an advantage to me because i became strong, independent, and i can proudly say that i can live by myself. Bring it to the positive side. Think about this many other people had worst family problem than you. I hope this message helps you.. God Bless.. (",) Joy