I rescued my son at Friendster. Will you do it if you were in my situation?
September 24, 2007 2:15am CST
He had two girlfriends before, but he already let go of one. Now, the friends of the one that he (sad to say but it's true) dumped, are bitter enough to broadcast at FRIENDSTER that their friend is far more beautiful than the one he is with right now. Now the present girl is crying and my son is mad at the one who dropped a comment in his Friendster. To ease them both (my son and his present girl) I also dropped a comment that i am posting right now (pardon the Filipino words that I used in here, I may translate them for you should you wish me to: =========== "Hello dear... I know how you're going through, and believe me, i suffer more than you do whenever you encounter unwanted events, things, words, or people... But this is life, anything can happen. And whatever decision you will make, even it it is detrimental to you and to us, I won't object... Remember that I will always be here for you. If ever time comes that you've run out of friends' shoulders to cry on...mine will always be broad enough for you and your chosen one to lean on... Be strong. Life is full of surprises. At any rate, you should always do whatever is proper. Believe in the Golden Rule. And when it comes to love... Hindi ako and pipili ng mamahalin mo, ke maganda or hindi maganda sa paningin ng iba... for I know you very well enough that when you say "this is it", you really mean it. Ang tama sa yo, tama sa akin. How I wish the girl you love will come to know you very well like I do. I love you. I always will." ======== a mother coming to the rescue... but instinct tells me that i need to protect the interest of my son more than anybody else, even if it is construed as me being "overprotective" to a son who is already capable of marriage at his very age. If put in a similar situation, what will you do?
• United States
25 Sep 07
In a similar situation, I would have seen that this is the kind of thing that young adults must learn to navigate on their own in order to become successful, well-balanced individuals. I especially would not have run the risk of embarrassing my son by commenting on his page about his personal life; it indicates that he is unable to handle his personal affairs on his own and must have his mommy rescue him, which is what you say you were trying to do. Young adults have to learn to rescue themselves. You won't be around forever and they learn the most valuable lessons from falling flat and picking themselves up again. Blessed Be
26 Sep 07
Thank you, my friend. And I assure you i didn't embarrass my son by commenting on his page. Actually, he sent me a mobile message the night before, and he says that his girl is crying and that he could not calm her down. Pure insecurities, and you're right, they could have solved this by themselves. But my first impulse is to protect him and to get even with the one who came out of the blue and publicly humiliated them. And my comment did its purpose. Thanks anyway. With your comments, I realized my mistake... I'll be more careful next time.
24 Sep 07
It sounds like your son is still of school age and it couldn't be that serious. I am not a mother, but I have eleven nieces and nephews whom I adore. Speaking as a loving aunt, I would do anything to help them. But, sometimes our hearts can cause of to see things differently or more seriously than they really are. In cases like this, I would say that it would be better to just talk to your son about what happened, but let the children work it out between themselves. It is normal for kids to get in little disagreements like this, but when an adult gets involved, that takes it to a whole other level. I would hate to hear your son say, I didn't say that, my mom did.
24 Sep 07
Thank you so much. Actually, I also have doubts, but instinct says I must do it so off my post went. Well, I must say I will just have to bear with whatever repercussions that may arise. After all, what I said were nothing but assurance that whenever things will turn out not right, I will always be with him, no matter what.
• Cebu City, Philippines
25 Sep 07
There are some issues in life that would be good enough if we leave our children take care of them. Specially when they are old enough to get married, he knows what he is doing. Things happen for a reason, they dont happen by accident or they are not just mere coincidence that it happens in our lives. Heart breaks, hurts, pains and a lot more; they are part of our lives and sometimes it makes life worthwhile while we expereince pain and hurt. They make us a better person in the end. They are for character building. Sometimes, we go through hurt and pain because this are the consequences of our actions and each should be responsible for our actions. I salute you for being so protective your your son. You even went and extra mile just to show how much you care for him. That motherly act I will not comprehend until I have children of my own.
26 Sep 07
Your comment is well appreciated, my friend. Per Philippine laws, my son is already capable of marriage but not yet mature enough to be a family man. He will be turning 19 come his birthday next month, and being this young, he still needs our guidance. That is why I needed to remind him to do what is proper at all times...and it's good that his mother is at least computer literate enough to be his ally anywhere, even in cyberworld. Not all mommies in our country could do that. And not all parents would do this sacrifice for mostly believe that children must grow up as independent as possible because eventually they will be leaving home. But as a doting mother, I would weep to see my son lonely and disoriented, simply because I wasn't there when he needed me the most. Actually, he asked for an advise, and that is what i thought to be the most proper way, for it will be working three-folds: First, an assurance that I would always be two steps behind him. Second, an assurance indirectly intended for his girl, that my son is not as bad as she thought. and Third, to get even with the one who humiliated him and his girl worldwide. I would be glad to hear should you finally decide to have children of your own.
28 Jan 09
I think I would not have been so nice. I mean, I think I would have preferred retaliating to those "friends" who dropped the mean comments. Of course I would do so anonymously by creating a false account, etc. Then I would just give the same amount of insult. An eye for an eye :D I know it's not the "best" solution but it's the best way for me to calm down LOL Thanks for the response on my discussion!