My sister

all need to talk to all and settle scores also if any to end the MATTER.FILE-CLOSE

Some inexplicable areas: Why do you need to convince Dorothy to leave him? If she is happy with this bully, its her choice. No point in anybody’s butting in, no matter how close that person is. Even if she is not happy, its her call to make, not yours. You never know, someday you maybe accused of being unnecessarily intrusive and just because there is the threat of his wife being brainwashed, I think he looks over her every move all the more. If a week is more than you can tolerate, why cant you cut it short, or better still, leave them and your grandma to fight it out and you take a break! But seriously, why do you think he is intolerable? Some people are grumpy by nature and pompous too, but when relatives do drop in for a week, we have to tolerate them. No point in avoiding and worsening the situation further. If Dorothy can indeed be brainwashed into leaving her hubby, there is some problem in her marriage which as a sister you are not being able to assess neutrally. Maybe this is making your brother-in-law more grumpy towards all of you as a family. Lastly, don’t you and Dorothy connect otherwise, I mean thru the phone, net or whatever. If indeed she needs to take a second look at her marriage and as a sister you want to help her out, I believe you can always stay in touch without being physically so. Don’t tell me he keeps a tab on the phone & net too! And lastly, do not let your prejudices influence you sister is such a vital aspect of her life.

That is sad my first and proberly only marriage was this way. i am glad it only lasted a year. He never hit me but he was verbaly abusive and could not handle thing when I got sick or had to go to the hospitail. So he cheated on me our marriage didn't really even last a year. It took 2 years for me to get up enough money to divorce him. I hope your sister doesn't take to much mental abuse.

Could your husband engage him in something that would require him to be away from the house? Is there something he likes to do that your husband could turn into a couple hours of free time for you and your sister? That situation your sister has going on sounds very scary.

Find him something "guy" to do? Find some guys to do it with him? Tell him its girl talk & ignore him? go to a salon to have your nails done?

Maybe if you talk to him about this, or better talk to both of them. If he realizes that his control over your sister could be damaging to their relationship, and moreover your relationship with your sister, he might consider to change. If a man feels threatened that his wife is not happy and might leave him for his attitute, then he would definitely take some action. It is for your and your sister's benefit if you just go talk to him straight and forward!

I do not know what to advice. You have to get your sister away from him for a time to find out what really is going on. Do you have someone there, just as bossy and obnoxious that will not let him get at you? Because if you try to separate your sister from him, the bum might get very belligerent and threaten you. If telling him that you have to talk to your sister because of some feminine problem, that no man should hear, does not help, you might need someone else to tell him what for. Do you have a friend, or a male acquaintance who is a policeman or know someone who you can tell that you suspect that your sister is being mentally abused? She might also be being physically abused, but her husband is too smart to let the marks show.l

Perhaps you should exactly do that.LoL.I know its not easy.Many people fail to understand that their spouse have their own life and relationships,even as close as a sibling's.It's a sad situation.Still,communication can open locked doors and you should give it a try.He has to understand that you were an integral part of your sis' life even before he came.I can only wish you good luck!

That's so sad a matter. There are many persons like him in the society, and actually we can do nothing to them. Their behaviours are influeced by their culture, morality and the education they have received. What I can advise you to do is to speak out you opinion of him straightway, to make him understood that he is doing wrong. I don't think he will also be rude to you if you do that since you are his sister-in-law. Anyhow, try to let him know what you feel. It will only become worse and worse if you do nothing.

Try tactfully saying that to him and see if he understands. He might surprise you. Yous sister should hear the way you feel about it when you say it to him. She might not know you feel this way and might do some things herself to be able to spend time with you.

Have you tried taking your sister off to do girl stuff? Maybe shopping or cooking. (Yeah, I know that sounds old fashioned and stereotypical, but if you take her some place that only girls hang out, he probably won't tag along. Maybe a spa day or something like that.

hi. i think yo really need to try to talk to u sister alone. She shouldnt have to live like that have you ever asked h im why she cant be alone?

I think u should call the police and make police's report for his rude action that dont give you see her.

I,too have disputes with some of my in-laws. But I can't do anything about it. because thety are- even we don't want to- are already part of our family. If you can n ot have a good talk with them, better be civil. And tell your sister whatyou hate in her husband and if she can spend more time with you alone. Be honest with your feelings. Don't hide it, for it might cause you troubles later on. Let the people concern how you feel and why. And be open for any agrrement so everything will turn out okay or smooth.

If I were in your position I'd get real brave (or just do what I do anyway!!) and TELL HIM that you would like some time with your sister, that as well as a life together they still have their individual lives. He sounds like the kind of guy who goes out with the boys a lot. Invite your sister for a "girls lunch" After all she was your sister long before she was his wife.

I am so sorry to hear that. There are so many rude people here on earth. You have a problem with your brother in law? I also have problem with my brother in law. He talks so bad and treats us as if he is the God. He would scold you and would not allow you to talk. I hate him also. I just wish he will not visit my house again.

It breaks my heart to hear there are men like this! It also breaks my heart to know there are women out there that don't have enough self worth to walk away. If your brother-in-law doesn't allow you & your sister time alone, know that your honesty about their situation and standin up to him (by helping your grandma to bed) is showing your sister support in more ways than you may realize.