Do daughters look after their ageing parents more than sons ?
September 25, 2007 12:51am CST
Somehow people long for sons. I always wanted one child and that too a daughter, but I was blessed with a son. I always feel that the bond between daughters and parents is a lot stronger than that of a son. Sons also look after their parents, but then his love gets diluted with his wife and children, but a daughter no matter what, will always be there for her parents. Am I right ?
3 people like this
25 Sep 07
I think it is a bit of both, no circumstances are the same, it depends a lot on the life situation of the time that the parents need the care, I have seen Males doing a wonderful job and I have seen females doing a great job but I have also seen disasters with both especiall if they have spouses who don't get along with the parent needing to be cared for, then it also depends if the parent has a problem that may need more professional help which is the case many times.
• United States
26 Sep 07
I think it depends on the son or daughter, on the parents, and the whole situation. My dad has been really sick and my mom takes care of him for the most part but she calls on my brother a lot to help because he lives on the same street. It's easy for them to call him and he can be there literally in like 30 seconds. Plus he works downtown where my dad's hospital is so it's easier for my brother to pop in and visit if my dad is in the hospital. I live 20 miles away from them and my brother is the favorite child, so even if I WAS closer they'd still call my brother because he is emotionally closer to them as well as physically. Because of the preferential treatment that's been going on for years, I'm a little emotionally distanced from them which is maybe why I moved 20 miles away :) But anyway, since they have always chosen him over me, I don't get as involved, even when my dad is really sick. I'm there as much as I can be, but not as much as I COULD be. So in saying all of that, I guess I'm saying that I disagree that a son's love gets diluted with his own family but the daughter will always be there. My brother has a wife and family and I do not, but he is there for them much more than I am. But mostly because they are there for him and not as much for me. It has caused a rift between us.
• United States
29 Sep 07
Well, in my family, that is how it worked. My parents had three girls and a boy and it was we three girls who took care of both parents (my younger sister and I mainly) to the end of their lives. My brother never came around at all. However, my older sister has a grown daughter and a grown son. When she had a brain aneurysm a year ago (The same as my mother had), it was her son who was front and center at all times. Her daughter helped but the son was the one who was really over the top worried and who did anything for her. He is single and the daughter is married with three kids so that could be why. I have two sons and they had BETTER take care of me! I take great care of them and I have taught them to love and to care for people and I really hope they wouldn't walk away if I needed them. I also really hope I don't need them! So I think it really is different in all families. I have seen cases of daughters doing nothing and doing everything. Same with sons. I guess we just take our chances!
16 Nov 07
I too have a son and I have taught him to look after the old and the aged. My mum and aunt live close by and I make it a point to go visit them everyday for at least an hour. He has seen me look after them and I hope it has some effect on him too. Yes, I agree with you that it differs from family to family. Good luck and God Bless your kids.
17 Jul 08
You are so right. I have never understood why people long for son's so much. My mother who is now 83 (and being looked after by me and my husband) proudly told me that she wanted 7 sons, she had two and then I came along, she never had anymore children after me. I often wonder what would happen to my mum if I had been another boy. I wish someone would tell me why boy's always appear to be the most wanted and treated so special.
15 Nov 07
To be frank i dont agree with you to the fullest because its not always the case.ofcourse women is much tender than men and so we expect them to look after their parents,but even in my family i have seen how cruel daughters have been to their parents.at times because of their greed for property and money they dont even mind physically harassing them.even this is the case with gents too.i really wonder how any one can treat their parents like this who have grown them and is behind your success in life.
4 Nov 07
I dont know.. this is probably gonna make a few people mad but i think sons tend to take care more in the financial aspects and girls take care more emotionally.. not saying girls cant provide financially or guys cant provide emotionally..its just that girls have more of a nurturing instinct while guys like to be the ones who can provide financially
27 Sep 07
I think it depends on the situation. I mean, both my brother and I are close to my Mother. Now that I'm living halfway around the world from them, my brother'll surely take care of my parents. His girlfriend (soon-to-be wife) knows that too, and she's such an attentive person. I'm SO glad my brother's found a WONDERFUL girl to be with him forever. She's also very caring towards my parents, so I'm glad that she can "take my place". My brother tells my Mom most of things. Now that I'm gone, I know they'll grow even closer together. It also depends on the Mom, I think. My Mom's SO easy to talk to and she never forces her kids to do what she wants. She's always supportive and she's always managed to treat us according to our age, so now she treats us like mature kids, not like "small" kids. I think if the Mom makes it possible for the kids to stay close to them, they WILL stay close to her no matter what their gender is. ;-D
27 Sep 07
I must say,you are right if you are in China.In the past a chinese family has three or more children,in them the daughters will care about their parents more and morethan sons,they like give their parents their love and gifts,help mum and dad do some work or go out walking with them ,let their parents feel happy,but sons always be busy ,cause his new family.
• United States
26 Sep 07
I think it depends on the situation. Currently, my parents are both in good health and if the time comes that they need me or my brother, I think we will do it together if we are both living close enough to do so. My husband is an only child so he will be the one to take care of his parents even though they do not live anywhere near us. I will try to help him even though I do not really get along with his parents. But I know he will need my support. After watching my mom go through this with her mom, I know the caretaker needs as much support as the older person.
25 Sep 07
I somehow agree to your point of view. My mum always has a strong bond with my brothers before they got married. Once they got married they just neglected my parents. I mean in terms of attention given to my parents is far more less now as they get to divide it with their own as well.