Have you ever been afraid of recalling successes in your past life?

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Have you ever been afraid of recalling successes in your past life? While most of us may get scared with past sad memories. I often feel uneasy thinking about the nice ones.You think it weird?So do I. Recently I got a phone from my junior high school teacher who asked me to attend the anniversary of school,I had no intention of the invitation at all ! I have been a good student in high school and much adored by my teachers.That's why I received this special invitation.But I failed in the college entrance exam and got enrolled by a plain college I am studying in at present.I felt extremely disappointed with myself and lived unhappy ever since. In the teachers' eyes, I am the perfect one in school and surely will have a wonderful career in future.Nevertheless,everything goes not as it should have done. Immense pressure overtook me when I wondered how to face my lovely teachers. I finally decided to attend it even I wanted to fend it off..I dont want to leave them an impression that I am unpolite and have no sense of thanksgiving. With the deadline comming soon, I almost want to die.