I'm confused and need to vent!

She sounds like she has issues. Why would she even bring it up if she was just going to try to talk him out of it? Sounds pretty strange to me. I agree with you. You should set dates that you are going to have him, and stick to it. Good luck!

What is the custody arragement? Sometimes that will set up when you can see him through the court and there will be nothing she can do about it. If the court says you get him every other weekend then she can't keep him from coming those dates.

you will not get her to change..just be there for the child and don't make it a tug of war over when he sees who and where..you know that you are dealing with an immature person..so don't let her make you look desperate..just realize wheere she is coming from and plan on this happening...until the child is old enough to be on his own you will have to deal with his mother..and you can do it the hard way or the easy way..you will have to take the higher ground for the sake of the boy..it is not fair..but who says life is fair? just be flexible..

Does she still have a thing for your husband? It sounds like she's playing the typical cat and mouse game with her child and your husband. I would take her to court and get legal visitation rights to keep things clear. Maybe just a meeting with a lawyer is enough for her to get the picture that you're a team and you're not going to play with her over this child. Some people never mature and don't realize that you've got to be a mom first and a woman second.

Hi BlueAngel, This does sound like a problem. I think you are right about setting dates, and she can't keep him away. I wonder what this is doing to your stepson? It's always the children I think about. Blessings.

In two words: Court Order. Even when parents divorce amicably with regards to kids, visits, child support, etc it's best to either draw up your own order and have the Court rubberstamp it, or allow the court to order visits and make sure that the order covers holidays and special occasions. That way if someone doesn't follow thru there's legal ramifications.

First of all Sweetie I have been away that is why this is so late But yes you need to be firmer now as that is not correct I hope that you did get him for the Weekend There was no need for that at the end of the Day the Child should be aloud to decide Hugs to you

Anytime I have seen this it ended up in court. The father asks for specific days that way she has no choice and if she refuses after a court order is in place she can get in real trouble. I hope you guys get this all worked out hun Hugs

This is always a hard situation to go through, but mostly the real effects of what is going on is mostly or entirely felt by the child. I have never gone through this personally and I hope I never have to, but have been there for a friend who was nearly going through the exact same situation as you. Her husband had a child in a previous marriage, and the mother being a total *bleep* by getting the child all excited about going to see her father, than telling the child that no you can't do that he doesn't love you like I do. My friend's husband would have to go get his daughter to ever see her, and when he would go the mother would be all over him and trying her hardest to break up my friend's and her husband's marriage. Finally she got fed up with this woman, took the whole mess to court and ended up getting set dates for when the child could come to be with her husband and herself. These dates including which holidays they would have with the child, and if at anytime the court order was breached by the mother, she would lose all custody rights. Yes, that is a bit harsh, but it is entirely clear that in both situations the mother is not thinking about the child, only her own benefits, not only is she playing games with you and your husband, but she is always playing head games with only a 7 year old boy. Sometimes life can be harsh, but being harsh may be the only way to wake this woman up to the reality that her child isn't some sort of pawn she can be using against your husband. I hope you and your husband can get this matter resolved soon, and mostly I hope that this woman learns to grow the hell up and stop her games.

I am not sure if this woman is playing games or is a bad parent, but either way you still have to deal with her,I didn't see how old the child is , because that will make a difference if he is allowed to make his own decisions. but what you might do is write he a letter or phone her and say we are free on such and such dates, we will be delighted to have the child, please let me know with in 24 hours because we have back up plans if the child will not be joining us. I know it sounds a bit cold, but you are entitled to spend time with his son and his ex should be co operative or it will be a very messy time. it is after all about his son not people playing games and getting even

She's not being fair. The father has equal right to spend time with his son. She doesn't care about the son's happiness. She only cares about her own agenda. I hate manipulative people like that.

Hi Hun, I have known you and your hubby for years, and I know the person you speak of (your hubbys ex wife). I am not going to point fingers as I feel both your hubby and her have played their own part in this. The bottom line however is that you all need to sit down and talk about this. It's time for your hubby and her to be adults about it and come to some kind of compromise for the sake of your step son. He is a great kid and I know he loves his daddy and wants to see him, but your hubby has to do his part too! Hope you don't get mad at me for this. I'll talk to you more about it later and explain further if you want. Love & Hugzz, Your Friend, PurpleTeddyBear

I know it is really different from what you want and what I would do but sometimes there are lots of different feelings and emotions rumbling around in a person when they are faced with handing their child over to their ex-partner and his new spouse - espescially if the ex hasn't always been totally trustworthy in the past! I know it is extremely frustrating and upsetting for you Sweety but try and stay patient and keep the situation as calm as possible! You have worked hard to get you husband building the relationship with his son - you should be very proud of yourself! xxx

So how old is your stepson? if he's 3 his mom should not let him go too often. Hes still a young baby. but if hes 12 he should be allowed to make up his own mind. I'd like to know his age?

Its nice of you to love the son of your husband from other woman, its great really.. but however it was not welcome or not been reciprocated by the mother i guess..but anyway keep it up..regarding the attitude of your husband ex..i cant really give some opinion on that matter coz i dont know what shes thinking about it..all i can say is continue doing so and try it harder i guess dont mind on any complaint that youve heared from a mutual friend ..just make her understand your good intention..