Can You Face Your Partner's Lies After Marriage (open for Single's idea too)

@aowaow (1517)
Indonesia
October 3, 2007 11:29pm CST
In love relationship until pre-marriage, people like to hide their weak or bad personality. This is natural, because they think by showing this there's no good point at all, worst it will effect into ruining the relationship itself. But what they don't think, this compassion will effect on after-marriage life. Towards his/her partner. Later it will effect kids and opposing relatives. Briefly, they didn't show their real personality as well showing good only in love introductory until pre-marriage. When married for some times, one by one the personality is being introduced and made his/her partner needs time to accept this. And this could be happened on the opposite too, Us. What do you think about this? How do you handle this if you had this occasion in your family's life?
1 person likes this
12 responses
@laurika (4536)
• United States
4 Oct 07
I would porbably divorce.I mean it depend on the lie or weakness, but if somebody is hiding something on purpose , that is not good.
1 person likes this
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
5 Oct 07
How do you see one did it in purpose and one is not?
@laurika (4536)
• United States
5 Oct 07
I would leave him and find some prince.
1 person likes this
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
7 Oct 07
how about your kid?
@hollowheart (1572)
• India
4 Oct 07
I hate lies, so though i love her so much, there would not be any chances to actually face it. Well not atleast everytime. Ya sometimes maybe I would forgive her andgive her a chance, utif all o it is untrue, then its neither love nor life, so staying with a person like that has no meaning. Ya i would be sad to leave her but then, why ruin my life for no reason.
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
4 Oct 07
She is really intended to show you the truth now. How about that?
• India
5 Oct 07
Well if she really intends to show me the truth then i am fine with her and would be truthful and faithful to her more than a lifetime. Truth and trust in love or in married relations is very important to keep it running. Its like the engine oil for the vehicle.
1 person likes this
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
7 Oct 07
You got the oil, bro.. thanks.
@kwenge (2492)
• Kenya
4 Oct 07
It depends on the kind of lie and if it will affect me in any way thereafter. For example if my husband kept me in darkness about maybe a certain illness that is in the family and is hereditery, i will really run mad but i might understand that maybe he feared i'll leave him. But if he lied to me that he is not married and does not have kids and i find out that he has a wife and 3 kids, then that will be the end of us. I will be hurt but i cant stand seeing him. Lies can really damage a relationship. I will cry for two weeks and get over it and move on.
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@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
5 Oct 07
That will make me shock as well...
@kwenge (2492)
• Kenya
9 Oct 07
Which one? About wife and kids! I think it will not only shock, it will give you heart attack if you are already pregnant with his kid or maybe twins. Gosh! sooo painful.
@lucky_witch (2711)
• Philippines
18 Oct 07
Well, for me even after marriage, problems and misunderstanding is there to arise. And the thing is... how would you manage your relationship to be strong no matter how many problems that you will have in the time of your marriage. You must know that there are things that you have to accept... and things you can no longer change.
1 person likes this
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
18 Oct 07
Indeed, white and black is always standing along together. Great philosophy.
• India
7 Oct 07
You are right. one has to be very transperant before getting married. The real married life starts only after the marriage. no one can pretend long. one has to come out with his/her characters. they cannot leave aside their inborn characters and leave. my suggession is that be transperant before marriage. be your own self before marriage. If not, if they really love each other the have to compromise themselves and leave for the happiness of eachother.
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@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
8 Oct 07
Bravo.. good word.
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
well depends on his lies, and the reason he lied, if the lies doesnt make us work for it then i think its over, they said that if he ied now the he will lie forever. but we have to understand that all us have our oun weaknesses, i think if i marry a guy i marry him becouse i love him and its becouse of himself..and accept as he is and same with me, i think its better to have frequent conversation with your partner if you want to save your marriege..its realy depends on the partner if he/she accept the situation.i think its happened to every family, starting to knowing eachother when they live on one roof.
1 person likes this
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
5 Oct 07
Interesting.. A problem solver mate.. I saw a Great Wisdom beyond your word..
@b_gryl (420)
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
I believe that everyone hides something and keeps a secret but if you are married and had promise to each other why would you still keep your secrets and tell lies. If my partner would lie to me i'll accept it and forgive him as long as it is reasonable and no big deal. We all lie and we should know that, so we can't really keep ourselves from telling lies. Lies could also be for the good or for bad. It really depends, because if my partner lied to me because he wants everthing to be fine it would be okay with me, but if it is something realy bad i would really get mad at him. As long as the lie doesn't affect my future family and relationship with my future partner it's fine.
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@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
5 Oct 07
You own the Wisdom and the Charm, my dear.
@Sharon38 (1915)
• Jamaica
4 Oct 07
my philosohpy is that a person can only pretend for certain lenght of time. The true pesonality wil surface but I gues we all have tparts of us that we hide from others so waht you both could do is sit down and talk about it. get the cards on the table!
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@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
5 Oct 07
We are hoping the next card just don't the King card with 12...
@paintwet (165)
• China
4 Oct 07
i hate lies too,but in fact i always tell lies to my partner,unmindfully
1 person likes this
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
5 Oct 07
Indeed, each person has his own secrets.
@svelte (132)
• Philippines
4 Oct 07
I think one solution for this is continuous adjustment and willingness of the couple to give each other a chance to explain one's action and make for the mistakes done. Continuous improvement then follows to avoid such lies from happening again as long as both partners are willing.
1 person likes this
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
5 Oct 07
The hardest part is on the person who deals with the lies.
• India
4 Oct 07
I can never face a partner's lie after marriage ofcourse she should be true to me otherwise i dont think there is any point in continuing the relationship
1 person likes this
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
4 Oct 07
So, you choose to divorce soon?
@innechen (1321)
• Indonesia
4 Oct 07
lies - why do you lie
actually i believe that every human in this world has something they hiding from others.so when i found out that my husband lie to me i have to hear a good reason why,otherwise it'll break my heart and upsadding me,of course.but however i still forgive him, eventhought i didnt forget it.
1 person likes this
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
4 Oct 07
How about I choose to forgive because we ourselves had the same point just what he had now. do you agree about this? :)