Why do spouses tend to look alike as they age?

By Nic
@academic2 (7000)
Uganda
October 4, 2007 7:50am CST
I was mesmerized by a couple I met recently-they looked so identical one could qualify them for twins. When I enquired more, I learnt that they were husband and wife! What happens to make completely unrelated people(I say unrelated people because in my culture, marriage between close relatives are forbidden) become alike in looks so strikingly?
6 people like this
17 responses
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
4 Oct 07
I think the more you spend time together you tend to adapt each other's facial expressions and mannerisms which tend to lend to the looking similar or even identical if they share some of the same physical traits as well. I know it happens with pets and owners as well hahaha!
1 person likes this
• China
4 Oct 07
I hold the same idea like yours that the more you spend time with your spouse, the more you will look alike. This is also what we say when we are talking about this with friends.
@sunshine4 (8703)
• United States
4 Oct 07
Oh no~ I hope this isn't true! My husband is bald and I would love to keep my head of hair!
1 person likes this
• China
4 Oct 07
Hello sunshine. No worry about this. I think that your hubby will be like you some day with all of his hair grown on his head without being bald again. It will make feel amazed for that some day when you see a different head before you instead of a bald head. By the way, right now there are some kind of special medication to make a person grow more hair on the head from being bald again. Why not have a try, friend?
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
Maybe that's because they are really in love with each other and they are always together. I have a friend who believe that if the couples are really in love with each other they would look alike after a couple of days or months... Well, that's just my friend's belief.
• India
5 Oct 07
yes i agree to you, tyour friend is right, everything can be same only when you are in love, only then you adapt all that your spouse do.
@soccermom (3198)
• United States
4 Oct 07
My husband and I have been mistaken for brother and sister before. It's funny but horrifying all in one. We've even had moments when we've gotten dressed and realized that we match without intending to! LOL
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
5 Oct 07
Am happy for you soccermom, you must be a perfect couple!
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
4 Oct 07
Well I have two colleagues who are also husband and wife. They look so much alike that they are considered as brother and sister by all the others. Sometimes we like to kid them saying that they are brother and sister rather than husband and wife. So I humbly think that usually in most cases it is arranged by destiny to have husband and wife match each other for their marriage and even if they didn't look alike at the beginning of their married life, most of them will later look more alike as time goes on though not all of them will. hehe. It is really an interesting discussion. Thanks for it.
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
5 Oct 07
Then destiny must be very fantasic, know what william, recently I was told by someone meeting me and wife of 14 years that we look alike, it was surprising but nw I want to believe i probably look like her!
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
4 Oct 07
Hi academic, I've seen it happen many times. I guess being together, especially if deeply in love, for 40,50, or even 60 years will do that. I can think of no other explanation. Blessings.
@academic2 (7000)
• Uganda
5 Oct 07
I agree absolutely, staying together have a lasting effect on not only behaviour but also looks!
@josh33 (120)
• India
5 Oct 07
bcos of similar living habiits i guess
@magilives (261)
• Australia
5 Oct 07
Oh Man!!! If I ever start to look like my boyfriend someone will need to shoot me LOL I wonder what these peoples children look like??
@batpig (99)
• China
5 Oct 07
yea,what you said is mostly true in our cultural also...ppl always say that the couples have the tendency to be alike as time passes. i dont think that will means that they will be totally the same, just when they live together for so long, they have the same living habbits,so they may have the same figures due to same diets, and they may talk in the same way,(they just influence each other day by day without noticing). even when you see they will smile in the same way...(ppl should have the hidden nature to imitate each other). so i believe they will look like each other when they are aging.
@thefortunes (2367)
• Netherlands
5 Oct 07
Hi Academic, and I find your observation very interesting. You see, while my partner and I are our soul mates we definitely do not look like eachother, nor will we ever, as we differ like the day and the night, and in everything ;) On the other hand though every time we have cats,one of these cats starts looking just like me, behaves like me, and is like me towards all the rest of the cats, or people that come into our house. Could this be the same thing, say it a tid bit different? TheFortunes
@Sharon38 (1912)
• Jamaica
5 Oct 07
I have a concept for this. The years of living tgether they become more and more like one instead of two. Therefore the expressions and so on become similar. I have wondered about this question for years and even asked a couple about it but basically thats what they said and I think so too.
• United States
5 Oct 07
You know, I was watching TV the other day, and this court show was on. The defendants looked like they could be twins, a man and a woman. They had the exact same haircut, they both had on those, I call them Bill Cosby sweaters, they had the same facial features and they were even sort of shaped the same way. lol Come to find out as I watch, they too were husband and wife! It was uncanny how much they resembled one another. I really couldnt believe that the wife had the same haircut as the husband. Im not sure what it is. Ive heard people say that when you spend a long time with the same person you begin to look like them. Great question to ask though! I wish I had an answer for you. Bay xx
• India
5 Oct 07
many a times that happens. when you stay together for more time, you tend to pick up styles, likes and dislikes, behaviour and also mood. so you act and react similar, your eating habits and dressing are similar and you tend to think also similar to some extend. you become one. you ask each other for views and decision. often everything becomes one and so with looks :) this is the essence and also a way to see the relationship a true one.
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
we tend to look at spouses as if they are look alike. maybe because we always see them together. the traits that we see with the wife is same as the husbands because they are always together. they acquire those traits because of they are together.
• Canada
5 Oct 07
Yes what a strange occuance that happens between married couples. I am hoping this doesn't come true for my husband and I. He is bald! LOl I do find it amazing when couple not only end up with similar haircuts and bodyshapes but actually look alike in there facial features. Weird! I wonder how scientist explain that one. Has anyone heard of any explanations for this?
• United States
4 Oct 07
I think it has a lot less to do with changing to look like someone else, and more being attracted to someone who has a faint similarity to what our family looks like or what we look like. Its all obscured by makeup and hairstyles for women and maybe facial hair or hair on the head period for men. And as we get older we stop wearing so much make up and men's hair lightens and disappears so maybe that is why we notice it more. I do not think we marry people who look exactly like us, but biologically we may be choosing someone that looks like they are "from our tribe." This tends to cross ethnic/racial lines. Although the skin color may be totally different then your spouse there is something similar there. and you probably remember being in 9th grade and friends saying "oh, those two make a cute couple" or "those two just don't look right together, they'll break up"
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
so weird yet so true.. is there a scientific explanation for this?