Until when should I keep apologizing?

Philippines
October 5, 2007 2:48pm CST
Whenever I get into a fight with my boyfriend, I'm the one who most often gives in and apologizes. Even though it was his fault he keeps quiet and does not approach me first. His pride is so high that it irritates me. Now, we have not talked for 5 days already and I want to go to him and apologize again. Is this normal?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@mrsbrian (1949)
• United States
5 Oct 07
As long as you keep being the one to appolagise first, thats how long it will keep happening, be tuff and wait him out he will break eventually, he knows you will give in so show him different or it will continue forever.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
yeah, I thought I should learn to be tough. He's not a bad guy, he just doesn't know how to admit that he's wrong.
• United States
5 Oct 07
I agree with the op. It is now a habit for him to expect you to approach him first and apologize, even when it should be him doing the talking. If this current arguement was not your fault then please do not go to him and apologize. What you could do is call him or go to him and say, "we need to talk" and tell him what is on your mind. Do not say you are sorry when there is nothing to be sorry about!! If you are the only one to give in the relationship when it comes to disagreements or arguements then it just won't work- relationships need to be 50/50 or at least close to that. Unless you are ready and willing to accept this problem with him then you either need to get out now or have a sit-down with him and get this issue resolved. If he is not willing to resolve then move on! No one deserves to live in stress! Good luck to you either way and please let us know what happens!
@dawn5679 (266)
• United States
5 Oct 07
They are right! Don't give in. Keep strong.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
You know, the situation is pretty funny actually. He and I live in the same house. His room is only about 10 meters away from mine. We always bump into each other but since he noticed that I've been ignoring him, he started ignoring me too. I remember one fight we had before, I also acted tough at first, but when he saw me the following day he asked, "so are you ok now?" then we were cool again without any apologies from him. I feel that he is just always waiting for me to cool down first and then our problem would be solved eventually. Anyway, I'll really try to be strong this time.
1 person likes this
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
18 Oct 07
Well, I guess that its because you tolerate him doing that. You must know that in that situation you must do something and that is once and for all stand when you know that it is really needed. When you know that it is his fault and taht he knows that, then dont be the one to approach him. You must do something or else... you will be just like that for the rest of your life together.
@carol_m (709)
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
I only apologize when I know it was my fault. Your bf should learn to accept his faults and say sorry (if he really is). If you go on with your apologizing to him though its his fault, he would get used to it and always hurt you or you would always have a fight and he wouldn't mind a bit coz he knew you'll eventually apologize. If you don't apologize, he would come to his senses and approach you (that is, if he truly loves you and ready to accept his faults). Let him realize that. If he doesn't, then...(*shrug*)... Men!
• Nigeria
6 Oct 07
I am a male, but i am begging you to hold on & not bring you self low the way you've done. Just stay away from him if he really love's you he will come loking for you and if don't i will still advice you not to go back to him, let him go because yu won't know the value of something until you loose it. So make him to know your value by loosing such a honest girl.
@svelte (132)
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
I agree! Its supposed to be a give and take relationship. One should value the other and should always compromise. Otherwise, one of the couple will be too demanding, too selfish and too self-centered to forget your worth.