how to tell someone that he or she smells bad?

Philippines
October 6, 2007 4:42pm CST
In our lives, we do encounter people that really smells bad. But the thing is, we are the ones who feels shy in telling them. And the least we can do for them, is be patient with their presence. Even we feel like fainting because their smell gives us a headache and hardship in breathing. lol Will you tell someone that he or she smells bad? How?
6 people like this
25 responses
• Algeria
7 Oct 07
It's happening every day but I can't tell anybody of that and I don't think I will in the future , let's just be patients.
3 people like this
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Patience is a virtue. :)
1 person likes this
• China
7 Oct 07
True,that is a galling thing for ourself and some people that smells bad.we feel fierce and he or her imperceptible.many man have not good sanitary custom,and some women use too bad scent.i think,for a man,if he is my friend,i will give him advice about it,because that will good for him.but for a woman,i will not,i can't let a lady to fell galling,though i fell headache or hardship in breathing.
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
You are such a gentle person.
1 person likes this
• China
8 Oct 07
hehe,thanks a lot.
• Philippines
9 Oct 07
You're welcome.
@SutePri (41)
• United States
6 Oct 07
It's hard to confront anyone on that subject, especially a friend or family member. My best friend since elementary school always smelled bad growing up. I was always too scared to tell her so rather than saying anything I would hint it to her by giving her perfume and shower gift sets and adding in a deodorant or I would be like "Ick, I feel icky and smelly, I'm gonna spray on some perfume, want me to spray some on you too?" but these things never really worked and she never caught on. When she started working, it was only a matter of time before she actually started doing something about it. My guess is a boss or co-worker confronter her. I could never get up the courage to tell her. It's just something that some people have trouble confronting others about. Hinting may sometimes work but other times it's better to be blunt about it, I guess.
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Telling them indirectly sometimes do works. But being hinest to them and telling directly is much better.
• United States
7 Oct 07
Well it depends on the person, me thinks. Some people take it extremely personal and turn it around to make you the bad guy. I guess it depends on how well you know the person and if you think they can handle being told something like this. Some are ok with you coming out with it, while others will take it to heart and act like you're attacking them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Yes, it really depends on how you say it and how the person will take it.
@aaidjs (1149)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
7 Oct 07
Hello, it is easy if he or she is a good friend.You can simply, directly tell him that he small terrible!!were i was born people are so temperament and open, they will be tell you that without any problems!Here were I live ,people are less direct, they will think that you smell bed-never said that directly to you! but they will discuss that with other s!!If i want to have a good relation ship with others I will tell/in face/!!Regards Silvana
2 people like this
• United States
7 Oct 07
lol good point. Better to just tell them than have them be the butt of gossip!
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Yes, there are really people who find it hard telling the truth because of fear of being misundertood.
1 person likes this
@pagli84 (1850)
• Netherlands
7 Oct 07
you know, that's a really tricky question. one of my cousins used to smell sooo incredibly bad, but i never knew how to tell her directly. sometimes i would hint at it, like telling her she should wash her underarms before she applied deodorant, but she never thought she smelled. i havent seen her in a year, but im assuming she hasnt changed much. there are also a lot of people at my school that smell. i guess some people from certain cultures dont have the same hygiene habits, but im not able to tell them anything cause im not so close with them. that's why i just try to stay as far away from them as possible
2 people like this
• Philippines
10 Oct 07
Telling the truth is the hardest thing to do sometimes. because of the fact that it will truly hurts.
@suspenseful (40312)
• Canada
7 Oct 07
It is better to take them aside and tell them that perhaps their soap does not work. That way, they will feel that we are calling them a dirty pig. It could be that their deodorant is not working. It might not be strong enough. It also could be that their perfume does not agree with their skin. I have had that problem, a perfume that smelled like a rose on someone would smell like skunk cabbage on we because of my skin. But you have to be gentle, it is hard and it is better that she hears from you rather than the boss firing her and she being unable to get another job. Also why not give her a gift of fancy soap at Christmas at the office party? She will not make the connection or if she did, will remember you in a nice way.
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
A very good style of telling the truth.
1 person likes this
7 Oct 07
I love your question and cannot wait to see the responses. Just this week one of my friends ask the same question about a boy in one of her college classes who smelled so bad the professor had a problem with it. I know that I would tell a friend but an aquintence or stranger is harder and Usually I will just live with it to keep from being insulting. I would like to learn a tactful way to handle this
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Chooisng the right person to tell the truth sometimes really matters.
1 person likes this
@viroop (155)
• China
7 Oct 07
i think the best way is just we shouldhave discusiion like thsi "hey there is something bad smell around let us check ourselves is is from us or not and clear out" and he can find himself and take care of it
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Hope they get it using that strategy.
1 person likes this
@jcj_111776 (3220)
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
hi there. I had an experience like this with our former young maid. We endured it for weeks at first because my husband and I didn't know what right words to tell her. And we didn't want her to to be offended. Because no matter how we sweeten the words, being told that she has unpleasant body odor,will still sound offensive. So, the last straw was when she had to come with us. When she slid inside the car, after a few seconds, breathing was very difficult. It was so bad that I barely talked back to my husband when he asked me a question. I wanted to save my breath and minimize taking deep breaths. After that, my husband bought a dedorant for females. And he instructed me to think of a reason why we have to give that deodorant to our maid. So, what I have come up was to tell her that my husband bought the deodorant by mistake. And because I didn't like the brand and instead of just throwing it away, we thought of just giving it to her so it won't go to waste. We didn't know if she got our point. But after that day, she still smelled but it wasn't as horrible as before.
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Good thing it works for her.
1 person likes this
• India
7 Oct 07
lol...nice topic :-).It really happens and I used to tell him / her quietly that you're smelling bad and take or do this-this which will solve the trouble.I don't think there is anything wrong in telling them but it should be done very quietly and without making fun of it as it can happen with us too in any other way and someone at that time,might be laughing at us. -AV
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Law of karma.
1 person likes this
@euroster (35)
• Greece
7 Oct 07
The straight way. Explain to him/her that you are telling him/her that because you care about him and in order to fix the problem. That way other people will not have the same problem with him or her.
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Straight but in a subtle manner.
1 person likes this
@steel111 (87)
• Bosnia And Herzegovina
7 Oct 07
hehe, this is a god one. I have the same problem with two of my coworkers and I really do not know how to tell them. I am afraid that they would get offended if I told them "man, you stink"
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Oh men, it is really hard!
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Oct 07
Actually. My supervisor at another job had bad BO and you know what. Noone told her. They just let her smell and I guess she couldnt help it. But she would get all close and you'd be like dont get so close. Please. So I dont know if you should tell them but if you do good luck!
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
That is what most of us are afraid of- to offend anyone.
1 person likes this
@azimsay (545)
• India
7 Oct 07
First you that person can I tell you some thing about you ,you will not angree with me ? Then they will say no you can told me.Then you tell them to use body spray.You will get fresh and somany people like you.
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
That is very direct and hope it will be taken lightly by the person.
1 person likes this
• India
7 Oct 07
Depends upon to whom you want to tell. To friend you can tell them directly. But to dear ones,seniors or even to boss,direct telling will not work or may be hurting.In that case you may suggest some good brand of deodrant,perfume. You can even tell them false story as how he/she was avoided in a group due to bad smell.
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Relationship to the person do counts whether they will take it on a good or bad side.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Oct 07
Last year,about this time of year,a guy that works for my husband came to work smelling badly on a daily basis and everyone complained to my husband about it. He suggested that they do a gift exchange for Christmas and whoever drew this mans name would buy him personal hygene products and make a gift basket out of it. As it turned out, my husband was he lucky guy that had to buy for "smelly". I made up a really nice basket with deodorant, body wash, body spray, powder, soap, etc. This man had the nerve to ask someone to TRADE gifts with him because he didn't believe in using soap (of any kind...not even in his laundry),deodorant, or any of the other things in the basket. He said that hot water cleaned just as well as any soap could! So, my husband ended up having to call him into the office and explain to him that everyone had found his odor offensive and that was the reason for the contents of the gift. "Smelly" got so mad that he quit! My point is, sometimes no matter how nicely you try to tell someone something like that, it isn't always appreciated!
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Yes, I agree because there are other people who are used to be what they are. Not caring to have even a little change to better or improve themselves.
1 person likes this
@hoghoney (3749)
• United States
7 Oct 07
Well I am sorry to say that I would just have to tell them that they stink. Because if I can smell them then you know that they can smell themself so they should know that someone will someday say something to them.
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
That is another point to consider. Better you tell it to them than anybody does- in an offending manner.
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5768)
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
I would never really tell someone outright that he/she smells bad. I dont want to offend. However, if that person is my friend, i would be doing her/him a favor in letting him/her know how she/he smells in a very diplomatic and subtle way that won't embarass that person. I have done it 3 times already. I had friend who really have very bad underarm odor that just being near her would really make me feel faint. I just gave her a deodorant and told her to try it out since its new and I like it very much. That is a very subtle way of letting that person know that she needs to use deodarant without really getting nasty about it.
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Yes, we should consider other's personality and attitude before deciding what to do.
• China
6 Oct 07
i think i will tell he or she when there is only two of us, i think it is better than to tolerate. you know that someone smells bad does not only annoy you, some other people around he or she can also be troubled. so, if you are the friend of this one who smells bad, you should tell he or she, maybe they dont know they smell bad, and they will change themselves when they know that.
2 people like this
• Philippines
7 Oct 07
Much better tell it to them in private. You've got a good point there being a true friend to them.
@gradyslady (4054)
• United States
13 Oct 07
My one friend will flat out tell them they smell and need to take a shower or something. They usually feel bad when she says something, but it's like how can you not know that you smell horrible?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Oct 07
Your friend really have the guts i admire!