Why I reported a case of neglect

@ElicBxn (61063)
United States
October 6, 2007 6:15pm CST
Back in the early 1990's I was working for the Protective Services dept of the State. I worked in the state office and had no contact with clients. My supervisor's supervisor, was a former Protective Service worker. While we were talking one day when she was in the office (we were located off site) she noticed cuts on one of my co-worker's arms. It turned out that when she was feeling depressed, she'd cut herself. Well, the super got very upset & wanted to look at the cuts and wanted her to get help. Well, "M" was getting counceling, but I don't know if she had talked about this cutting herself. Now, let us flash forward 12 or 13 years. I go to pick up my roomie from her folks after visiting out there with them & her nephews. It turned out that her younger nephew was cutting himself. Now, cutting is more typical of girls than boys, but its not unheard of. I didn't see the cuts, but I heard about them from not only the roomie, but her folks & the lady across the street from them. So, I contacted PRS (since I now worked for a different state agency) and turned in a report. A worker contacted me, not sure if he could follow thru, but I gave him the info I had, so while I didn't know the home address, I knew the school district & the rather uncommon last name. Well, NEXT thing I know, the b...mother is calling her other son (who she kicked out of the house 3 yrs previously when he was *14*) and trying to get him to get even because he was at that point living in my house with me & the roomie. His sister was also calling, his girlfriend (the daughter of the lady across the street) was calling telling him I'd done the right thing and the state was telling the b... mother she needed to get her son in counceling. Now this wh...woman thinks she a great mother - oh, she kicked her elder son out of the house at 14, and her 13 yr old daughter was smoking a pack a day! and her youngest son is cutting himself - she's a GREAT mother.... Well, at the end of the school year she lets him visit his grand parents again & when she comes to get him, he tells her that he wants to stay there. OMG, you'd think he'd totaled her car! She was now calling PRS on them until they finally told her that if she did it again, they'd charge her with filing a false report. Now, on Friday I found someone that works with the former supervisor & makes me remember that the reason I knew that cutting was a form of child neglect was because of how she acted when she discovered my former co-worker doing it. So, do you know someone that cuts themselves or do you do so. You can get help if you want it or if you know a child that is cutting him or herself, get them help, the next cut may be serious enough to kill them!
2 people like this
5 responses
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
6 Oct 07
I have heard so much about this cutting thing.I did know that it was some type of emotional problem but i was not aware that is was caused by child abuse/ neglect,that is good to know..I have seen many true stories about this...on tv...I do not understand it but if i did know someone that was doing this i would report it,anyone that knows someone who does this should report it because you could save a life...I do not personally know anyone who does this( that I know of)Thank you for the information and i will report such a thing if i should ever see a person with this problem..Im sure that these cutters will do it to body parts that does not show...
@ElicBxn (61063)
• United States
6 Oct 07
Allowing a child to cut without seeking help is considered neglect. The lady I knew cut on her lower arm, the kid was cutting not only his lower arm, but also his upper thighs. It is one of many signs of depression. In the first case, the lady was phyically abused by her adoptive mother and one of her adoptive brother's raped her. In the kid's case the mother was neglecting her kids both physically & emotionally. He still has issues with temper and depression, but at least now he's where he's getting support from his grand parents and even his jerk of a father is at least trying to be a parent instead of just the sperm doner he's been in the past.
2 people like this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
7 Oct 07
You were that childs guarden ANGEL, you saved his life,so you will be blessed for that...Don't think it really matters what anyone thinks including the mother,you did what was right ....
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (61063)
• United States
7 Oct 07
I thought so. The roomie, the grandparents, & the nice people across the street also thought so. Even the kid came around to agree.
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
6 Oct 07
How did his mom find out it was you? Aren't those things supposed to be confidential? I had a friend who was a cutter. She stayed with us a while and watched the kids while we worked instead of paying rent (only a couple hours a day). I think she did eventually get the help she needed but she was old enough she had to decide to do it on her own.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (61063)
• United States
6 Oct 07
I think they guessed. They actually blamed both me & the roomie, tho she didn't know I had done it until after the fact. This wasn't the first time I'd called PRS on people, and every time they took action about the situation.
1 person likes this
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
7 Oct 07
You have a special gift for getting the job done..Thats a good thing.When it comes to whats right and whats wrong you have to do the right thing regardless of hurt feelings..If everyone was like you,this world would be a better place,you are not the type to turn your head and look the other way...and sooooooo many people are,they don't want to get involved....you did,and you saved a child..
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (61063)
• United States
7 Oct 07
I've actually saved more than that one, but that's the only one I can account for after the fact.
@wotfpatty (2068)
• United States
8 Oct 07
I know (on the net) a 30ish year old anorexic and cutter. There is NOTHING that can be done. She was 69 pounds and hospitalized and cut herself somehow in the hospital. Now she is on a rollercoaster of bingeing, restriction, and self harm. She refuses medication and is a mss but thinks she has it together. Her parents know and her boyfriend knows. Everyone kind of just...looks the other way. She has been this way since she was a teen. I used to know, on the net, a young cutter (14 - introduced to me by a friend of mine who thought I might be able to help somehow.) From what the young girl told me, it was a very serious situation. I didn't know her last name or where she lived and I didn't know if what she told me was true. Eventually, after emotionally burning out, I had to cut ties with her. She would blame me for cutting herself if I happened not to be online or if I "sounded" irritated with her. It was really draining. If I knew a child was for sure cutting or otherwise harming her or himself, I would call the authorities and tell them. I know parents are often embarrassed or ignorant to the fact that their child is doing this but they need help badly. There is so much brewing under the surface.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (61063)
• United States
8 Oct 07
I can tell you that the b... mother didn't care, wouldn't aknowlege a problem if it bit her in her skinny butt! Honestly, if I thought she'd get him help otherwise I'd've not contacted CPS, I know they are far from perfect, but can help when there's a real need. I didn't see them taking the kid away - it wasn't that serious - but making her get him help was what I wanted & what they tried to make her do. Happily he's now living with his grandparent - his choice - and doing so much better.
• United States
7 Oct 07
It is sad when someone feels that they have not one single person around to trust enough to talk to and turn to hurting themselves to get rid of the pressure and pain. They really need help cutting themselves they can kill themselves by cutting the wrong spot.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (61063)
• United States
7 Oct 07
Very true. My co-worker was already nearly 50 when I learned about her doing it. She's nearly 60 now so I guess she's not going to cut the wrong spot. But I was really afraid for the kid, he'd already shown some self distructive behavior BEFORE I found out about the cutting. Now he's not cutting and behaving in less self distructive ways.
• United States
7 Oct 07
I have never heard of anyone doing that to their self but I think ya did the right thing i would have done it to
1 person likes this