Adoption
By carolbee
@carolbee (16230)
United States
October 7, 2007 4:32pm CST
As a baby I was adopted. My biological mother delivered me when she was 15 and her parents made the decision to give me up for adoption. Was a good decision. By the time I was 31 and pregnant with the third baby, my curiousity was overwhelming to find my biological parents. Found my mother who was living in another state. Was able to meet her almost immediately. Found my father about 15 yrs. later and was able to meet him shortly thereafter also. He also lived in another state.
It was a curiousity I needed to satisfy and am so glad the opportunity was made available for me to meet them both. Still keep in touch with my father but my mother is now deceased.
Anyone out there in Mylot land have a similar story or any story about adoption?
2 people like this
9 responses
@chicha0522 (648)
• Guam
25 Feb 08
I'm not adopted, but I'm glad you go to meet them...
1 person likes this
@chicha0522 (648)
• Guam
26 Feb 08
SOme of my friends are adopted. SOme of them want to go and look for their parents and some choose not to, that they already have a family.
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
26 Feb 08
Hi my friend I wasnt adopted but when I was only 2 years old my got a divorce from father. She did remarry when I was 6 years old. So I never met my real father. I used to always wonder what he was like. I guess it just curosity. I really havent thought about him in years now. My mom is deceased but my stepfather is stll around. Im glad you were able to meet your mom and dad. Must have been a great feeling.
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
26 Feb 08
My curiosity did get the best of me and I had to find out the story behind the adoption. Am glad I did and found out medical information also. Once we had kids, it about drove me crazy to find my roots. If you have a name and are interested in searching, you may be able to find him. It's not for everyone to do a search since the results can be devistating. Thanks for responding.
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
8 Oct 07
Thank you, subha. It was a long road for many years especially throughout my teen years but it's now "water under the bridge." Life moved on, I grew up, was married and had my own family.
Not knowing my roots was satisfied by searching for my parents and locating them. They were in different states but I still was able to get in touch.
Once we had our own children, I wanted desperately to know the story behind the adoption process. I'm now satisfied knowing I was raised in the better family where I had a mother and a father. The original family would have been a major disaster.
@kriszelunka (557)
• Australia
8 Oct 07
My mother fell pregnant at 17, and as she wasn't with the father, and was working as a hairdressing apprentice, she decided that she couldn't support a child properly, so she gave her up for adoption.
In Australia, they have a registry where birth parents can leave their names and details if they're happy to be contacted by their child, once the child turns 18, which mum put her name down on.
When Pauline (my half sister) turned 18, she contacted us straight away. She'd grown up knowing she was adopted, and didn't have any problems with it, or with mum.
In this instance, everything turned out for the best, and we all remain in close contact with one another.
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
8 Oct 07
What a great story. I really like the idea of the registry.
I was born many years ago so my situation was different. It was a closed adoption. Nobody knew details. I did some research and was able to contact the attorney that handled the initial adoption. I had ill feelings for several years about being adopted until all the facts were in place. Am no longer bitter.
@KKKBsmom (1092)
• United States
25 Feb 08
Not all adoption agencys or countys where the adoption took place will follow thru and give the adoptee the info. We have heard of many that send and then find out when the adopttee or birthparents go looking the info is not given to them.
but then eventually they are reunited and it comes up.... why did you not answer my letter if you registered... well they were never given the letter...
its sad... yes it should be that if you give the adoption agency a letter of finding info... it should be given to the other party if they come looking... but it does not always happen!
I am happy you have been able to find both of your birth parents... that is what needs to happen!!!
@lovelydame3000 (1577)
• India
8 Oct 07
Hi carolbee! If my parents would have given away for adoption I do not think i would have behaved like you.I am sure that i would never forgiven them for what they have done. If the parents are not capable of bringing up the child they rather don't make them at all.If they did then they should take full responsibility of the child according to me.
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
8 Oct 07
I agree but on the other hand before I went absolutely nuts, I needed to find out the details. Sure I was hurt and bothered. Wondered why nobody wanted me! Actually, that wasn't the case. My biological mother was 14 when she became pregnant and my bio. father was 17. They should have known better but it was too late to turn back. So life went on but eventually I wanted to know my "roots." It was very important to get health records or atleast talk to one of my parents, after doing the search and finding them. I was bitter until the age of 40. Then decided that it wasn't worth the stress and I needed to start over again and go with the flow, so to speak.
Thank G-d my mother or her mother didn't believe in abortion.
@tdbrower1969 (1242)
• United States
8 Oct 07
My best friend from high school was adopted by a wonderful family. He did not choose to find out about his birth parents at all because they chose not to have themselves known to him when he became of age. I don't speak with him anymore, we both went our seperate ways, but I do know that he is a police officer now and often wonder if he ever did look into his biological parents. He had two adopted brothers, too, the brothers were actual biological siblings and he was not. They decided to find their parents, and when they did, they found out the family needed money at the time they were adopted out. There are 3 children before them and 2 children after them. I know it was difficult for them to find this out. I feel that it depends on the individual who is adopted, whether they want to meet the biological parents or not. I am glad that you found yours and that you are still in contact with your father. I am sorry that your mother has passed on.
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
8 Oct 07
After talking with various adoptees, I've come to the conclusion that females have a greater interest in finding their biological parents than males. I have an adopted brother who has never had any interest in searching. That's his personal decision and I respect it.
My biological mother had a rough life and didn't take care of herself. Her life was cut short as a result of heart disease. Thank you for your kind thoughts.
@eftychiap (349)
• Cyprus
8 Oct 07
I believe that if I ever found out that I was adobted I wouldn't try to contact my biological parents. I believe I would like to know if they are alive and were they live, but that's all. The reason is that 70% of the people who give their child for adobtion have a criminal record, or a bad(...) life, or whatever. Moreover, they gave their child for adoption because they couldn't raise him/her correctly and provide them with all the things they need. So my opinion is that like they chose not to have anything to do with that child, he/she shouldn't want to meet them and get involved with them. Parents afterall, are not the biological ones, they are those who raise you, and care for you, and worry about you.
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
8 Oct 07
Knowing now the reason why my mother didn't keep me is very acceptable in my mind. She was 15 when I was born. Just not a good role model at that age since she was still growing. A baby raising a baby, so to speak! And my father was not in the picture.
My lifetime commitment was dedicated to my adoptive parents who are both now deceased. They were my "parents." I made their lives happy and was so happy I could do that for a family who was unable to bear children.
Actually, it all worked out well and everyone was happy.
