Change the attitude

@vsraovsr (734)
India
October 9, 2007 3:57am CST
My kids are aged 5 and 2.The younger one always dominates the other and takes things in his stride.If things does not happen so, he resorts to beating or shouting to express his anger. The elder one is literally very soft and sacrifices for everything but later asks why only she should do so always. I'm in a fix as to how to judge the situation and sometimes also feel that am I being partial to the smaller one. What do you say?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@foxygirle (377)
• Philippines
10 Oct 07
kids at 2 years are very hard to reason with. if you keep siding with the 2 year old, the 5 year old may feel you are favoring the other and yet somehow when my kid was 2, i did have a hard time communicating with her. let your 5 year old find her own space and if the 2 year old keeps on dominating the older one, best to give them seperate time as not to antagonized the older ones. just a piece of my mind.
• Philippines
10 Oct 07
maybe you have to explain to them, that it is not good for them to fight... you have to say it in a nice way that both of them will understand better, im a mother of two children too, i know that feeling, sometimes it freaks me out, especially when im tired of household chores, but ill keep it up that i always equal to them when they fight.. just keep it cool ok?!
• China
9 Oct 07
i am afraid to say it's really unfair for the elder one .they are both children ,though one is elder .while ,it's cannot be the reason you being partial to any one .to be fair seems a better way ,so your children will learn it.i think it's more important
@vsraovsr (734)
• India
11 Oct 07
Thankyou very much for your kind suggestion
@swatig (1187)
• India
9 Oct 07
Both kids are too small in age. so why so worry from now.kids are in age-group where not much anger works nor beating or such things. Give the respect to other in front of kid who dominate. and try to tell the kid who dominate tht yor both are brother so not to shout for everything as heis also soo small that your advice may not work but your attitute-difference towards the kids may work.
@deebomb (15317)
• United States
9 Oct 07
You really are being unfair to both your children. If you continually allow the younger one to beat and shout to express his anger at not getting his own way you will have a problem when he gets with other children. You need to interfer and let the younger one know that he cannot act this way. It is natural and easier the have the older one give into the younger one. When he starts acting like a bully remove him from the situatuion and try redirecting him to something else. Try teaching him to ask for what he wants. Then let the older one decide when to let him have what he wants as long as she doesn't give into him all the time. Children at that age are smarter than we think they are. If you continue to let him bully her then he will grow up to be a bully. We often think well he is just a bay so let him have his own way. That doesn't mean you are partial though. I have raised 6 kids now 4 of my own and2 grandchildren and this is what worked for me.
• Philippines
9 Oct 07
for me as a mother of three, i could say is that you should always talk to your daugther,that she is the eldest so she should give way to the younger one.but to emphasize it more,everybody should have their own toys and own things.but then teach them step by step to share things especially toys so that whenever they try to play, they will remember that they have to share toys in order to have a good time together.quarelling with each other is very common to siblings but you must teach them how to fix the sitution by not letting the other one to feel sad about it. make the your younger kid also realize that shouting to his sister is not good to see or hear make him realize also that his sister is older than he is and he should listen to older people so that he will also listen to you as their mom. Give fix or permanent rules on the house so that they will always remember that if someone broke that rule there are certain punishments to be given.kids hate punishments..my youngest is also two and also acts that way,but in time as i teach him the right rules to follow,little by little he usually understands what are those rules for.