Mentally Handicapped use disability to get away with things
By mkirby624
@mkirby624 (1598)
United States
October 14, 2007 9:02pm CST
Has anyone ever encountered this? A few years back, I was working as a hostess in a restaurant and there was a boy working as a bus boy who had Down Syndrome. He would often hug the girls inappropriately, and his guardian said that he knew this was inappropriate, but tried to get away with it since he had that disease.
Last night, I was on the field after my alma mater's football game, and I noticed a man staring at me in a very inappropriate way. It made me very uncomfortable, but I could tell that he was mentally disabled. Within minutes, he walked up to me wanting to shake my hand and asked me if I was the homecoming queen (it was the homecoming game, however, the homecoming queen was african american, and I am white so, clearly, I was not the homecoming queen) and told me how nice I looked. The he proceeded to pull me to him to hug me. I have no idea who this person is, and he was wringing his hands together and had this horrible creepy smile on his face. It really freaked me out, and I felt like he knew that what he was doing was odd and inappropriate...especially with my husband standing right there.
Has anyone else ever encountered this? How do you react to it?
3 people like this
7 responses
@kevere26 (223)
• United States
15 Oct 07
I started working with the developmentally delayed when I was 12 years old. And yes, I've been manipulated many times and have received hugs that weren't welcome. I've found that if you're direct about what you're thinking and feeling that often you'll be left alone. Being direct with the developmentally delayed is as simple as saying "You're taking advantage of me so stop it." to "I don't want you to touch me." or "You scare me and I want you to leave." It may sound rude but they don't hear it that way. It's similar to the language you use with young children.
2 people like this
@pendragon (3350)
• United States
16 Oct 07
A retarded man who lived on our street, but had people that watched him daily would go up and down the street collecting people's newspapers out of their mailboxes.When I approached him about not doing this anymore, he sat down on my porch and wouldnt leave, he began rocking back and forth hugging himself and said he would kill himself if he had to stop.A ploy that must have worked for him elsewhere.With that I called the police, who knew him by his first name and cajoled him into going back home, he had an efficiency apartment right behind the ploice station evidently. The next day his social worker was driving him around to people's houses so he could once again rifle their mail and take what he wanted. i approached her and she was clueless as to why this was wrong to let him do.He didnt come back again after that,so i wonder what higher up finally caught on .
@mkirby624 (1598)
• United States
16 Oct 07
See? That kind of stuff is insane. I really do think that some people are ignorant to the things that some mentally challenged people do, knowing that it is wrong.
I have a student with TBI, and granted his injuries aren't as severe as a person with Down's...he found a way to make it work to his advantage.
@mkirby624 (1598)
• United States
22 Jan 08
I don't think the poster meant anything bad by saying "retarded man" I realize that that word is no longer "PC" but only because people began inappropriately using it. The poster wasn't using it inappropriately or in a mean way.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
18 Jan 08
Thankfully I haven't encountered this but I'd probably be pretty upset by it. I used to know a kid that was Down Syndrome and he had a tendency to fondle himself without really realizing he was doing it but his mom kept on him about it and would make him stop.
**AT PEACE WITHIN**
~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
@stephanie78 (122)
• United States
15 Oct 07
I have noticed this as well. I do think that some try to use this as an excuse to act in ways they shouldn't but I am not sure how to handle the situation myself. Although I know what my husband would have done if he was standing beside me when it happened....LOL!
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
15 Oct 07
I think you read too much into the way the "mentally handicapped" show their feelings. I have come into close contact and even worked with people with developmental diabilities. I don't think the guardian of the young boy even understood why the boy did what he did. It's up to us so called "normal" people who have to know enough to move away after a hug, handshake or any kind of overly physical contact realizing that mentally challenged people don't know any better no matter how old they are.
@cripple4christ (8)
•
15 Oct 07
no mentally disabled person uses their disability as an excuse for their behaviour. It is wrong to think this. Most are not taught what is right or wrong and are babied as someone else pointed out. But it is shameful for anyone to say they use it as an excuse, because thats not true at all. Most of the time they do not know how to express themselves in an appropriate way, and most do not think what they have done or are doing is wrong, but just simply being friendly.
@mkirby624 (1598)
• United States
15 Oct 07
I don't think it is shameful to say they use it as an excuse. I have had many severe and profound teachers tell me this, guardians of people with severe disabilities, etc. I don't think it is shameful at all to think they might be going too far hoping that their disability will allow them to get away with it. In the case of the man at the football game, I could be mistaken, but I don't think I am wrong in saying that some have done this.
@southernpixie (741)
• United States
15 Oct 07
I know that sometimes it has to do with how they're raised. I went to school with two boys who were mentally disabled. One of them was babied a lot by his mother and she let him get away with everything. He would aggravate me and chase me, even when I told him to stop. The other boy was taught to respect people and I never had a problem with him, at all. He was and still is a really nice person. Most mentally challenged people have the capacity to learn right from wrong and its up to the parents to instill moral values.
