betrayal and lies

United States
October 19, 2007 12:09am CST
There is a girl who I trusted as a friend. She totally betrayed me once and convinced me that someone else had done the lying. Stupidly I believed her and befriended her again. Last week I found out the girl was making up complete lies. I mean actual fiction. The girl is crazy. She had been spreading these stories about people I love and she was making up stories about my husband and I. Now I am surrounded by people who think all sorts of negative thoughts about me. It took weeks for the truth to come out about the lies I know of, I am now nervous about any other lies she may have told. She is definately a compulsive liar and it's hurting me. We both actively belong to the same church and I am considering quiting because of this girl. I am embarrased. Any advice?
2 people like this
8 responses
@jeanniemay (1803)
• Philippines
19 Oct 07
Misschriss, I feel you really feel discouraged and felt betrayed. Well, people make up their lose. You need not feel guilty about the stories that your friend made up if you knew in your heart that you did no wrong. Don't get discouraged or quit your faith because of that girl. We are the ones that make our life so express yourself and focus more on how you can be a better person. I can see that you are a very kind, honest, and patient person. Your can be a better person that what people tell about you. What is more important is the peace in your heart. No guilt and you are happy about your ways. Just continue praying for the friend. Time will come that she will realize how pitiful to be in such a situation. See her becoming the person you knew better. She is your friend and good times will always come. Coming from the space of love and understanding, maybe she just need more love! Spread the love!
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
19 Oct 07
I would suggest that you confront her or atleast talk with her, if you can face her personally then that would be good. But if you can't, might as well have someone to stand between the two of you in the middle. Since you're both church-goers, I'd suggest that you choose someone from the church who can help you both resolve your problems. If all these things won't come up good, then I suggest you forget her and let those who believe at her believe all they want to. You don't have to prove something to them, if you know that you are on the right side..
19 Oct 07
I have always given everyone the benefit of the doubt at least once but this girl has betrayed you not once, but twice. I would suggest that you try to stay calm and continue with your life, ignoring her. the people she has decieved will soon figure out the truth, but if you are really letting this upset you so much, why not speak to one of your church about it and see what they have to say.
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
19 Oct 07
I feel sorry about her. She even cannot see who is herself. Let the time to educate her.
@shadowing (309)
• Malaysia
19 Oct 07
Hi Misschriss. Well friend, do you every think of why are you quiting because of this girl but not this girl quiting because of you? You are not the one that stand on the fault but she is the one that is lying all the time. She is wrong and she is doing something against the values of religion. Then, she is the one should be OUT from the church but not you. I just can say that people should be able to know who is right and who is the wrong one. I mean times will prove to them about these. I did encounter a situation similar to yours. Back stabbed by someone (I am not going to call this type of people as my friend) and the rumors spread through WHOLE COLLEGE. However, after all, everything is clear and now he is totally out from we group of people. My advice for this will be never speak a single word to her anymore as she is too good in creating story using your words. Continue your church activities, I know you are embarrassed but if you quit just like this, though it's not true but people will assume the rumor to be true. So, don't let her pull you down friend. Take care and be strong!
@shak143 (1280)
• India
19 Oct 07
hi misschirss my sympathis to you.i can imagine your condition.it's realy horrible when one of our frindes will spreading rumours about us.try to expose her infornt of all and let others know that she is a compulsive liar.i dont think so quiting the place where you areknow because of her.think about it.
@abi1005 (194)
• Philippines
19 Oct 07
hi misschriss...i understand very well what you are into right now. i am in the same situation as yours. i still haven't done anything with this friend of mine. i am just praying that she'll just stop what she's been doing. anyways, in your case..you should not feel embarrased in any way. face all the people with conviction. the truth will certainly prevails at the end of the day. don't be bothered by what people might think of you because of the lies she's been spreading. don't make them see you affected by this. it will not be of help to you. as long as you know in yourself that all of she's been saying are all lies, go on with your life. there will come a time that she'll get tired of it. trust me.
@fineartist (1217)
• United States
19 Oct 07
You have my sympathies. You have really been through a bad experience. What a shame about this compulsive liar. :( The only thing I can think of, which hopefully will console you, is that she has probably made up lies about many other people. I definitely would not leave your church due to the fact that this girl is an active member, too. I would try to do my best to be calm and resume church activities. Ignoring her is the best thing you can do. I wouldn't be so sure that you are surrounded by people who think negatively about you. Isn't it possible that this girl has a reputation for being a compulsive liar and that people do not believe the nasty things she has to say about you and others?