stressed need to vent

United States
October 19, 2007 3:10pm CST
My husband has been gone since Sept 17th on a training in AZ, he is suppsoe to get back around Nov 1st.. THere is another training he is suppose to be going on with the unit he is going to Iraq with that last from around Oct 29th to end of Novemebr which means he is going to miss Thanksgiving for the 2nd straight year. We were not sure if they were going to send him cause he is suppose to have off until Nov 9th, Now tonight he calls and says they were told today that all people there that are a part of CLB 1 the unit that is going to Iraq is leaving AZ the 28th so they can leave again to go to this training on the 29th. Now tech he is not with CLB-1 yet cause he has not checke into the unit but he said if they include him he will be here for not even 24 hours and then leave again for 30 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My next problem is he hurt his knee in AZ and I think he should go get x rays on it since he is in alot of pain, the other thing is my son is a part of the EFMP he has a begin tumor on his optic nerve that I found out in Sept has grown a little and he has some doctors appoinments he has to go to in nov and dec, We got into a big big on the phone tonight it ended with him yelling at me that he he has to go he has to go and deal with it, = ( So I hung up on him.. I am sick of all of this and just want to go home, it sucks when you have noone around here, no family and all the friends I have made here are moving this month or have already moved.. Okay I am done thanks for letting me vent
3 people like this
9 responses
• United States
19 Oct 07
I am an army mom and I realize that it is different than being the wife of a soldier but I still miss my son something awful. My son is also away for 3 weeks traing and then comes home and then leaves again and it will be this way until he (as he puts it) Jumps the pond. One thing I wanted to point out is that I realize how very much you miss him and wish he were there for special days and holidays, Have you ever thought about how he feels. He is missing the birthdays and holidays. Have you ever thought about how he feels eating Thanksgiving dinner in a mess hall instead of with you? Do you not think that he misses being there for birthdays. I'll bet he does. Try not to add to his disappointment and loneliness by arguing with him when he is trying to be the soldier we all love and admire. He will be in Iraq soon enough (with my son who leaves January 2) and we sure don't want these guys to be distracted with worries from home. They need to concentrate on where they are and what is going on around them so they can come HOME safe. Hugs to you and give that brave soldier of yours our love. And tell him THANK YOU.
2 people like this
• United States
19 Oct 07
thanks for ypur responce, I do understand how he feels when we were on the phone I was just having a bad day and that just made it worse, the Military can never make up it's mind one day he is going the next day he is not after a while it gets old and very upsetting. I wish your son the best of luck over in Iraq this will be my husbands second time in one year.. I will keep your family and your son in my prayers I know how hard it is HUGS!!
3 people like this
• United States
20 Oct 07
Thanks!! Where in Indiana are you from, my husband is from Muncie and thats where my inlaws live
3 people like this
• United States
20 Oct 07
Bless you dear, you hang in there. I know it won't be any easier this time than it was the last, but maybe this will be the last time either of our dear sweet boys have to do this. Be sure and go vote so that maybe someone will clean up this mess. I am proud of our boys, but enough is enough. Vent all you want honey, just not to him. You mention that your family is in Ohio, well I am in Indiana and you can talk to me when ever you want to here. And it's free. Love ya
1 person likes this
@anniepa (27955)
• United States
20 Oct 07
You vent all you want any time you want, hon! I don't know how you deal with it, not one but two deployments to Iraq...did you say in a year? That just doesn't seem right. I'm a total night-owl so as I've told quite a few myLotters that if you find yourself wanting to chat - or "vent" again - in the middle of the night chances are you'll find me here to listen to you (or read you...lol!). Hang in there and remember you have friends here that you can turn to when you need something. Hugs and prayers for you and your family! Annie
2 people like this
• United States
20 Oct 07
thanks so much it feel good to vent and get things out.. Yes he got back in March of this year and is suppose to leave again early next year
1 person likes this
@ssh123 (31073)
• India
20 Oct 07
Hai, do not lose heart. Have courage and conviction. I understand the serious problems one get, where one is separated for long period and even worse when he is again going to warfront. He is on a mission and will be back as soon as the situation is clear there. Slowly the Iraw is coming to normalcy and I do not think Americans are going to stay there for long like. You try to have some occupation and hobbies to pass the time and to get over the traumatic experience. Have courage and conviction. Thanking for sharing with us. Have a nice day.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Oct 07
thanks so much for your strong words of encouragement I beleive you are right and thing will calm down over there enough where all the troops can come back home, have a nice day as well
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
19 Oct 07
Awwwww Sweetie Im always here to listen to you. Sometimes you have to let it out. You sound like your keeping alot of things inside you. I do that too. Try not to yell at him on the phone because it really doesnt help either of you out. Next time you talk to him make up with him you will feel so much better. I know it sucks but you have to be strong. I know you can do it. Im sending you hugs!
2 people like this
• United States
19 Oct 07
Thanks Terry... I just needed to get it out, he called just now, it's just very aggervating, he knows I support him 100% it's just hard with him being already gone for almost 6 weeks and to hear oh guess what I might have to go on this training for another 4 weeks as soon as I get back =( HUGS!!!!!
3 people like this
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
19 Oct 07
It sounds like to me that he is only doing what he has to do as part of the military. Maybe you could go to visit family or friends while he is gone. My husband travels for work and is often gone 2-3 weeks at a time and I just have to deal with it. I also have a friend who's husband is in the Navy and he is gone now for 6 months. I guess you will just have to accept that as amilitary wife, you will be expected to deal with stuff like this and not be complaining about it as it will do nothing but cause you and your husband problems. You need to step up and realize that he needs your support while he is gone.
• United States
19 Oct 07
That would be a good idea if my family was not in Ohio and I was not in California, and I am a very supportve wife, I delt last year with him being gone for my kids birthday, my birthday, Thanksgiving,Christmas, I am sorry but being gone for 2-3 weeks is nothing.. try dealing with a 7 month deployment and then 7 months later having to do the same thing all over again,
3 people like this
• United States
1 Nov 07
Hello. I have been a military wife for 10 years, and enlisted before that. I understand how you are feeling. We've been through many deployments, and from my experience, the first one is the easiest. After that, you know what it feels like to be alone and it is hard to keep upbeat about it. My hubby is special operations, so his schedule is very similar to that of combat action marines. He gets to be home 6 months at a time before redeploying and it seems like the whole time he is in training in Virginia or Nevada. It is very hard, and I imagine even worse for you because you are worried about your son. And even if he is not reacting as such, he is just as worried and upset. For them, it is usually easier to deal with it by pretending like its not that big of a deal. It is easier for them to convince themselves that than be on the battlefield worrying about what is going on back home. Try to keep upbeat and keep happy conversations on the phone with him...it'll make it go by quicker and then he'll be back at home with you and your son.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Nov 07
Hello thanks for your reply it helped me alot sometimes I forget that he is a Marine and does not have a regular job, =)
@gtargirl (5376)
• United States
21 Oct 07
Hi, my friend. Hope you're still hanging in there. I'm sorry you have to go through all of this. I can't imagine all these emotional rollercoasters you're on. Go ahead and spill whenever you need to. My family and friends always pray for all our men and women in the military and I think it's very important that we also do the same for their families. That would be you. Hope you don't mind but you are in my prayers. So go ahead and vent, email me if you like. May better days come to you soon. Like right now. Hang in there.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 07
Hey there, thanks sometimes it just feels good to vent.. things are a little better, Thanks for the prayers a little extra prayers never hurt and that would be great.. thanks for your kind words, HUGS!!
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Oct 07
oh honey so sorry. wow, what a thing to go thru, training, then him checking in or not by a date, then being included in one unit, but then another, and now leaving, AND MISSING turkey day again? not fair, and very disheartening. he needs to be home with you and your son right know, going thru all your son is going thru, and you can't do all that by yourself. plz feel free to vent here. it helps! trust me! i wish you the best and a solution maybe soon? and you're family is in my prayers. it's hard for all of you i know.
• United States
24 Oct 07
Yes it does help makes you feel better = ) thanks for the prayers, now we need more prayers for the Fires, there is one very close to the base
2 people like this
• United States
27 Oct 07
Yes it's always something I think I could write a book, one day at a time
• United States
27 Oct 07
oh no...just something else for you to worry about. oh i am SO sorry you'll going thru all this right now. it's just too much. at least they're starting to get thru SOME of the fires, but it's horrible. and they think a few are arson? what is WRONG with people. people aren't happy with their own lives, so they have to go and ruin LOTS of other people's lives? it's so wrong. keep us posted.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Oct 07
I do not know your husband or what you are personally going through. That being said I think a lot of people in this counrty have forgotten that we all owe a big thanks to our enlisted men and women. They sacrifice alot for the rest of us. I can understand you feelings. I hope it helps knowing that there are alot of us who really appriciate their sacrifice and yours. I have heard adds on the radio about family with people serving in the armed forces being threatend with forclosure and eviction. This is very sad. Once again thank you and thank your husband for me.]]Ray
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Oct 07
ohh thank you so much it very heartwarming to hear that there are people that still support the troops, althou alot of them do not agree about being in Iraq this long they are still doing there job and what they are trained to do.. yes you do hear alot about forclosures and such, we live in base housing so we don;t pay anything but military pay is not good at all so I can see where that can happen.. thanks so much again for your support and I am sure my husband thanks you as well
1 person likes this