Has your heart turned cold?

Canada
October 21, 2007 6:04pm CST
I just recently got out of my longest relationship to date, its been about almost 2 months and i cannot seem to lose the pain. We were having some relationship problems then it began to go good, we were finally at peace with one another, we went on a really expensive date i even bought her a cell phone that day. Then the very next day she broke up with me, a few days later she called me and told me i may have an STD. We've spoke maybe twice since then and each day i feel the hatred growing stronger and stronger and my heart rapidly turning colder. I was betrayed and abandoned by the one person that swore she truly loved me and now we don't even speak she left me and left me with no closure and no hope. Anyone have any ideas on how to best deal with my emotions, i have never experienced this much bitterness towards somebody and I would greatly appreciate some of your views and insights. Thanks Sincerely - Mil
3 people like this
11 responses
@joshboz (1214)
• Australia
22 Oct 07
yes it did before but that was just a few years ago before i met my girlfriend but currently im no longer that cold hearted man with bad intention deep down my consciousness. its started when people hates me in school and tease me everyday, there are even days that i never talk to anybody in our classroom because nobody wants to talk to me at all. i dont know maybe they just hate my attitude there. at that time, my heart really turn ice cold to my classmates. i became the black sheep in our classroom because i seccretly inform our teachers of any secret activities my classmates are planning, if there is a report i really humiliate classmates who are reporting something in front of the class by asking too many unrealted question just to make him/her not to answer....its good i dont do that anymore and ive change a lot. im no longer the unapproachable but rather he opposite now, i can be a firned to anybody now. no problem.
2 people like this
• United States
22 Oct 07
I'm only 19 years old and I've been with the same boy for 2 and a half years. We've broken up a couple times during our relationship, but each time it was really difficult to cope with. Each time I thought it was the "real one". We don't have the usual relationship other 19 year olds do and I cherish that fact. Breaking up is always going hurt, no matter what. I'm sorry about what happened between you and your girl. Being left confused and in the dark about something you once were so certain about must be frusterating, I can see how that would affect your heart in many negative ways. There's nothing that can cure this but time. And hey, if you really want closure, what I would do is force my ex to talk to me about it. If she's going to break up with you the least she can do is give you the respect of giving her reasons. I wish you luck on this. I hope you feel better soon.
• Philippines
22 Oct 07
In heart related problems it always takes time to heal. And as to when you can overcome and cay say that you have actually get over it, only time can tell. The least you can do now Mill is to learn how to forgive and forget the pain she had cost you. Just look on the brighter side maybe she's not the right one for you. There is someone better enstore for you somewhere ourthere. So cheer up and picked up yourself again!
1 person likes this
• Canada
22 Oct 07
You are very right, I am lacking the confidence and motivation I need to get back on my feet and time is of the essence I feel weak but everyday i grow stronger. These first 2 comments have given me a lot of relief thank you so much join and sheen!!
2 people like this
• Philippines
22 Oct 07
You're welcome Mil. I'm glad to be of help. :) Wish you could get over it soon! :)Just believe in yourself buddy and you can. Never loses hope and never make it a reason to destroy yourself. Don't let this situation go to your nerves. The world has so many wonderful things to offer!
@plumwish07 (4059)
• Indonesia
22 Oct 07
it happened to me recently. actually i have long distance relationship too. but recently, i felt something wrong with him. coz, when i got ill, he didnt give me much attention and care. his reason to do that becaused my illness came from my stupidness which neglect to rest well and eat properly. and when i asked him to give the money that he ever borrowed from me, he always delayed to give it to me which i want to take proper medicine from those money, from this experience, i just felt there is something wrong that i didnt know the reason. on that time, i just feel my heart turned cold and neglect his present although sometimes i missed the days with him
@mykmari_08 (2465)
• Philippines
22 Oct 07
Sometimes in this kind of relationship, we feel hatred because consciously or unconsciously, we have become very attached with the feeling and have woven dreams for the future with this particular love of our lives. Also, we may feel enraged not only with our 'supposed better half' but also with ourselves. It's very important to search within ourselves to become attuned with our own self again - like the time when you still haven't met this lady. I believe this phase you're going through is just a cloud passing by your life today. Don't forget that tomorrow will be brighter because the sun's just hiding behind those dark clouds. But until then, collect yourself, know yourself more, and most of all, forgive yourself and love yourself. You'll find out that in due time, you have learned and accept that this is just a phase of life which has made you stronger than ever before. And one thing more, take this time to be closer to the Lord and maybe, you could also ask Him to guide you in all your steps that someday, He's finally sending you the right partner for you - one who will love you not because she says so, but because she truly does. God bless and take a bunch of care.
1 person likes this
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
22 Oct 07
You must be the person who loved the most. Had you checked up for the STD? Because from your statement is using "may have an STD", and its from her word. If you hadn't yet, I advise you immediately made a run for this. Because STD if getting is hard to cure if getting sour.
• Canada
22 Oct 07
Yes please do not worry, i checked up on it immediately and took all necessary precautions the doctors were more than helpful. :)
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
22 Oct 07
The root is clear, you are not infected just like what she said. The STD she said to you, it must be from someone else. You can forget her more quickly if you can pull this line. You might don't know when you are in relationship with her, she had it with another guy. If she is not infected by an STD, and she said that to you. That's not a broke-up reason anymore, that's a great insult. You may forget this girl easily. Don't worry about your past gifts, you may count it as paying for your experience. Girls never valued greatly for physic or material gift to 40 points just like men did, they valued all details with 1 points and equal, they didn't mark one as for ten. The more you can give, show, care, etc, it's always 1 point to her. Even a greeting "How are you baby?" using cellphone short messaging did value 1 point of you to her. Good luck with the next one. Tips on how to get pass more quickly: go to gym or doing some sport you like, with friends, have fun. go to library, buy book of psychology, it's fun sometimes to find yourself back and add more knowledge to your brain library. you don't know, could be in those places, you might just find the lucky girl.
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
22 Oct 07
I'm sorry. It's 1 point for each thing you had done or given to women by physically and verbally. Good luck on the next one.
• Philippines
22 Oct 07
Hi there. I am at the same situation as what you have. My boyfriend broke up with me last Sept. 1 and it is very painful for me. I know it sounds stupid, and the cause of our relationship being destroyed is very shallow (I don't want to go on details. It is very hard for me to accept that considering we are about to celebrate our relationship this Oct. 27. and we have this relationship for 6 years now. I admit that the pain is killing me each night thinking that we made a pronmise not to be appart again. But he disappointed me. Before such incident happened, he attempted to broke up with me last July, but I asked him if he really loves me. And he said he does and I asked him again, why he would want to end the relationship if he really loves me. He just said that I asked him too much questions already and that he doesn't want that. I am just concerned with what is happening to him because I feel useless when I can't do anything to help him. And that day I told him that when he insist again to broke up with me, I will never do anything to win him back. My be it's my fault also because I tolerated him, I was the one who run after him when we have a fight even if it is not my fault. And now I am sufferring. For me to be able to cope up with this pain I am currently in, I reduce it by the medicine I knew you knew how to do... find things that will make you happy. When we broke up, I enrolled in a gym where I can meet people at the same time get in shape and make him regret of leaving me. I also have time to go out with my friends. Because before he would asked me where I am going, who I am going with then he would text me non-stop until he is comfortable that I am not doing anything that he doesn't like. But when he is the one that go out with someone he doesn't want to be disturbed. Before its nothing to me. I only realized that it is something that I should focused on at the very onset of our relationship. It's just that I really trusted him because I know trust is very important in a relationship. I accepted it no matter how painful it is. I know that god had better plans for me that is why He allow this to happen. I just pray to Him that He would give me someone that I really deserve and someday I will sonn forget him and just enjoy the memories that we have together. We have plans of getting married, but things are worst now between us. I could not afford to trust him anymore. I'm no longer comfortable with him because there is already a doubt that he will do the same thing to me again and again and again. I do hope that you can also move on and soon, find someone that will complete you.
• Canada
22 Oct 07
Our situations are very similar, my relationship ended on sept 1st as well and our 2 year would have been this November 2nd. Not as long as yours but i hope the same for you and that you too find someone that truly completes you. :)
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
22 Oct 07
As they say, time heals all wounds, it is true but gosh we wish we could make the time go by faster. Hang in there hon, it will go by. I'm sorry you have to go through such pain. For what it's worth, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you find some peace within your broken heart. ((((Hugs)))) to you dear friend.
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
22 Oct 07
Hi Millyg Im so sorry to hear this. You have to get on with your life and just chalk it up. Because thats the only way you can get through it. Try not to dwell on this person. Try meeting other people right away and that will take your mind off this other person. It sounds like this other person was not for you at all. I wish you luck.
@hjz3501 (16)
• China
22 Oct 07
apart from tears,only time could wear everything away. while feeling is being processed as time goes by,just like a cup of tea that is being continuously diluted.
• Philippines
22 Oct 07
well dear same with me, just recently got over it. the guy i love,and promiss me to spend the rest of his life, was married and i feel betrayed, we open on and off obcourse love is blind and i feel that im going to die without him so i accept the situation for a year we still contactig and trying to fix things but after long time of thinking and ballancing those things to us. i learn how to love my self.and think about m future it hurts too much but time can heal just accept the situaton and keep your self bussy,it may get harder and harder but soon you will be ok. its not the hurt the feel the pain its the mind set on it. just think about it. you have life that need to live on.and life is wonderful..