if married is it wrong to want attention from others

United States
October 21, 2007 7:56pm CST
i was talkign with someone the other day and we got on this subject. like for me i have been married 11 years but my husband never says you look nice or anything. i have always had a complex anyways. i have never thought i really looked good so when someone shows interrest it makes me feel really good. i mean i dont go looking for it by any means it is just nice when someone says something or etc. is it wrong to like it since i am married. i mean my husbadn he doesnt do it to be mean he does it joking but he doesnt relize it hurts sometimes even though i know he is joking when he tells me i am getting old. my boobs sag, or i am getting a granny butt, or i could shed a few pounds etc. i mean i know i am getting old and i know i am not hot never have been lol. its just it is really nice to hear sometimes. i dont try and get attention but i do enjoy it. it doesnt happen often. does that make me a bad person?
5 responses
@paxmundi (80)
• Philippines
22 Oct 07
I'm 44, have a bad back, my left leg is paralyzed so I walk with a cane, my left eye is blind, I'm losing my hair, and have bad skin allergies. For fun my wife imitates how I wobble when I walk behind my back. I'm a visual artist and people say I'm good at what I do but my wife in our 9 years of marriage (but 11 years of being together) has yet to compliment my work. In fact I don't think she even understands the things I do. Then last year I met this girl who is half my age who enjoys my company, thinks that I'm attractive, and enjoys listening to me talk about my work. She compliments me and I enjoy it. This is my take on it. We all crave attention. We all needed to be told that we are good, the were are attractive, that we are useful. And it is only right that we do. It helps build our confidence, makes us feel more alive, builds up our cheerfulness. Nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with receiving complements too. What's wrong with feeling good about yourself. We all need a good pat on the back once in a while. But here's the thing, compliments are just that compliments. As long as we treat them as such and not put meaning or notions into them then it is alright. When we put notions into compliments and delude ourselves into them, and then act on those delusions then it is wrong. But compliments by themselves give to someone even by a stranger to a married person doesn't make you a bad person. And if you wish to be complimented often here is my advice. Compliment others often. You want your husband to compliment you then compliment him on the things he does, how he looks. Make it a habit and eventually he'll end up doing the same thing too.
1 person likes this
22 Oct 07
It is always so nice and great to give people compliments. It's the human nature to want to be complimented to feel very confident and liked by other people. Some people may not realize that instead the hurt your feeling.
@laurika (4536)
• United States
22 Oct 07
No you are not bad person and I can understand how you feel.I just cannot believe your husband never say how beautigul you are.I know there are hard men out there, but they are only plaing that inside they are most fo the time soft.I can imagine how it can hurt you when he comments your body even if it is only joke.I think you should talk to him about your feeling, maybe he doesn't know how you feel.
• Philippines
22 Oct 07
compliment to someone is really nice to hear...but it will be nicer if your loveone told you that compliment ...im so glad my hubby kept on telling me that...and i felt sorry bout your case well what i can advise is that try to tell to your husband what you felt "communicate"....then try going to spa or pamper yourself, and you might try to do this... let him feel how good he is... how sexy or hot he is....reverse let him feel how good it felt to be compliment by someone especially if its your wife....;)
@jayger04 (64)
• Australia
22 Oct 07
I think it is human nature to want and need a little attention from someone other than your husband or wife. A bit of innocent flirting won't hurt as long as it doesn't go any further.