Do your guys let the house get destroyed when you're gone?
By foxyfire33
@foxyfire33 (10005)
United States
October 22, 2007 12:05pm CST
I just got home after sitting in the hospital with a sick baby since Friday. I've hardly gotten any sleep since then and the baby is still very needy. My s/o was here all weekend with the 2 1/2 year old the 4 1/2 year old and the 17 year old. I told him that I'd better not come home to a wrecked house because I was not going to go straight into a cleaning marathon just after bringing the baby home (not to mention not wanting to bring him home to germs everywhere).
Well I don't know what his version of "cleaning"is but there is a TON of stuff to do. As far as I can tell the only thing they accomplished was taking out the bag of garbage that was full Friday when I left. The sink is full of dishes, there are clothes and toys and stuff everywhere. There was an entire case worth of empty soda cans on the computer desk alone...plus several more that were scattered about, most likely after they fell off the computer desk.
And of course my s/o is sick now. The poor baby is coughing so he can't possibly help clean up at all *note the HUGE amount of sarasm. His parent's will be home in 6 hours and I still have to go back to town for more mediine. I'm so tempted to leave the house as is and let them see how "well" he takes care of things when I'm gone. I'm pretty angry either way.
So do any of you ladies have the same problem? How about you guys? Do you keep things nice or let things go until the lady of the house returns?
2 people like this
7 responses
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
23 Oct 07
Hope the baby is okay, as for the rest of your household, thats just being plain lazy, at least that's the way it sounds. I'd leave it as is, as they know where you were and what was going on. As for me, after reading some of your responses, I must be the lucky one. I have gone out of town for a week and come home to a clean house and laundry done. If I have to work late or on the weekend, I work for the forestry service, he fixes me dinner and cleans up around the house while I'm working. And he works a demanding job as well, he's in law enforcement.The only thing he has done while I was gone out of town.......was wash a white robe with a red sweater, but it's a lovely shade of pink! lol
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
24 Oct 07
The baby is getting better slowly, now he's really congested and not eating very much but he's still better than he was.
I agree it was just plain laziness. I mean I don't expect much from the two little boys BUT my s/o and his 17 year old could have kept things in order pretty well...even if they were sick. It was like me being gone was a good excuse for them to sit around all the time doing absolutely nothing. As for his parents being nderstanding about me being gone...that wasn't the case. Nothing was said directly but there have been comments made. And ever time I sit down for a minute they find something that needs to be done "right now" thatthey are too busy to do themselves. Last night I was out in the rain burning papers and taking garbage out again. I didn't even get dinner until 10:00.
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
25 Oct 07
Glad to hear that your baby is getting better. As for the 17 year old, if it were me, I wouldnt do his laundry or pick up after him, and that is not easy to do, in some cases it seems easier to just go ahead and do it for him. When he comes up saying he doesn't have clean clothes, give him instructions to run the washing machine. As for the 'lazy' s/o, do basically the same, when the garbage needs taking out ask him to do it, some guys are just blind to do any type of house work, they still seem to think it's 'woman's' work, let him know different. Believe me, been there, my ex would come home and no matter how clean the house was, he would find something I didn't do, or didn't do to his liking, finally, I got fed up and just told him 'ya don't like it do it yourself' and let it go at that, he fussed a few times while he was doing whatever, but it worked.
@miaocecilia (80)
• China
23 Oct 07
i can't stand on dirty house,i do cleaning every day. especially my bedroom,it must be tidy tidy and tidy.i like to keep place nice every second~
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
23 Oct 07
The "cleaning" word is not in my husbands vocab, but it is in my sons LOL even so the house is always a mess even after I took the whole day to clean it up - come night time its back to what it was the day before :( Only the areas we don't use as much stay clean for long - the lounge, dining and kitchen are the areas I clean or tidy up everyday.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
24 Oct 07
Oohh...he used to do that to me too when I did try working outside the house. I was pregnant at the time too which made it worse. I worked days and he worked nights. I would spend all evening cleaning up the house and then he would let it all get wrecked again the next day while I was at work. I ended up quitting and staying home full time partly beause I was so exhausted trying to do it all.
@vokey9472 (1486)
• United States
22 Oct 07
When I had our son I was sick and had to stay at the hospital for a week. When I got out and got home, I opened my door and stood in the doorway and started crying. The house was a mess. It smelled bad, the dogs had pooped on the floor, my hubby hadnt washed dishes once, he just stacked them in the sink. The trash was overflowing and there was something growing in my bean pot on the stove. My mother got out of the car, walked up to me and took one look into the house. She turned me around and took me home to her house. The she, my father, my sister and my mother-in-law went and cleaned my house. I don't know what my MIL said to my husband that day, but he has never let the house get that dirty since. I went away for two weeks with my sister and when I came home the house was cleaner than when I left. I had to laugh when my husband told me that he couldn't remember if I washed the curtains every week or not so he figured better safe than sorry. He washed the curtains, the windows, the walls, steam cleaned the sofa and changed the bed linens too. He even washed the shower curtain. I guess he learned his lesson 5 years ago when my mother had to clean our house.
I always tell him that as long as he just keeps it picked up, I will do the major cleaning later. It's funny, but the only time he actually "cleans" is when I am not home for a few days. If I am there every day, I cannot even get him to put his dirty socks in the hamper.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
24 Oct 07
Yours and mine sound like they were cut from the same cloth! Glad yours learned his lesson though, that must have been awful to come home to.
That is funny about the curtains! Mine won't even do his own laundry whether I'm here or not so I don't imagine he'll be washing curtains anytime soon! I think you should send your mom my way!
That's what really bothered me too, it wasn't like I was asking him to do anything major. All I really expected out of them...and remember the oldest boy is 17 and completely capable too...was to keep toys relatively picked up (I don't mind having a few out all the time, the little boys are still little), run dirty dishes through the dishwasher, and at least put the dirty clothes ON the hamper rather than on the floor if opening the hamper is too much work. Oh and vacuum up any big messes of course but that just seems like common sense. Except for the garbage being taken out (and the new bag was full already) I can't see where any of them did anything.
@speedy1279 (2665)
• United States
22 Oct 07
On a day to day basis. Like if I just have to run to the store or something, No my husband will not pick up or clean the house. He feels it's my job to take care of the house since I am a stay at home mom. I swear sometimes he thinks I should be cleaning 24/7. But if I was in a situation like yours being away the whole weekend then I know that he would clean up the house. The reason I know this is because when our daughter was born, she had to spend a week in the NICU. When I was finally released from the hospital and came home the house was nice and clean. That was the last time I was ever away from the house for that long. That was almost 4 years ago, so now that I think about it I don't know if he would still do it if something happened and I had to be away for awhile. He is a neat freak and expects the house to stay clean around the clock. So I would assume he still would.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
24 Oct 07
Mine is just weird that way..he's a neat freak in the sense that everything needs to be in a certain place or he can't find it and it bugs him when things get moved or aren't where he thinks they belong BUT his idea of organization is a pile here and a pile there. He expects "HIS stuff" to stay put but won't actively keep things that way. I completely organized his desk...it was so bad that the only open space on it was where his mouse pad was...a week later and it was piled right back up again.
@wishme_luck (249)
• Philippines
23 Oct 07
well, i have younger brother stay with me,obcourse becouse i send him to school while i work hard for him and for the bills.and we had a fight over and over about the cleaning system, i am bussy and tired most of tghe time.if i am alone my appartment are organized alwyas but everytime he comming in and stay with me it was dissater.many time he leave the house becouse of the same arguement that i dont want him around.after that for a mont or 2 weeks he become attentive to house thing then sfter a month same problem again.i always told him that dont wait till my mounth open and again then you have to leave the house. his the one making a mess.
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
24 Oct 07
I hope you and your brother work things out. He should help more because of everything you are doing for him.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
22 Oct 07
I have to say that I never had that problem with my Children they always kept it tidy they might have waited till just before I came home to clean it lol but it was always tidy when I got in lol
But I am so sorry as you should not have to put up with that after the weekend you had I hope the Baby is fine
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
24 Oct 07
Lucky you! The funny thing is, the kids rarely trash things when I'm here. But this happens everytime they're here with Daddy. I guess we just have diffrent parenting styles. I'm right there playing with the kids, tending to them right away and picking up as we go. He just lets them run around around him, gives them the "just a minute" line constantly and doesn't pick up a thing....and then expects them to do all the work when it does get to the point when it's impossible to see the floor anymore.
