Dealing with a sick parent
By SSutton
@SSutton (6)
United States
October 22, 2007 7:35pm CST
In the month of September, my mother had 4 strokes in 10 days. She just got out of the hospital and she is staying with me. She has a blockage in her brain stem that is inoperable. I prayed for God to please bring her home to me. Not to let her die in that hospital. I had no idea how much work would be involved in her rehabilitation. I don't want to be misunderstood, I am thankful that my mom is here with me. She is my best friend. She had me when she was very young so we really grew up together. She's 54 now and I know that she feels that her life is over. I have suffered from depression so I do understand her depression even though I can not imagine what she must be going through. I am just questioning whether I am strong enough to handle this.
2 people like this
5 responses
@annieo24 (27)
•
23 Oct 07
Im so sorry to hear about what your going through. You've coped so far with your own depression and now caring for your mum so you are without a doubt strong enough. I too look after a sick parent - My Dad has peripheral neuropathy which means he is slowly being paralysed. Its very hard looking after him and its exhausting but the energy comes from somewhere I try to make the most of what time I have with him. You will face some very difficult times but you'll pull through. God bless.
@SSutton (6)
• United States
24 Oct 07
I think my biggest concerns right now are trying to make sure that my home can run without my income and that I don't neglect my children in any way. I know they are having a difficult time because on weekends we usually spend the days doing family activities. Now we can't because my mom cannot leave the house right now. I have a zillion things running through my head that are concerning me. Right now, I am just trying to deal with it one day at a time. That's really all that I can do. Thank you for your support.
@thecheapgourmet (5)
• United States
23 Oct 07
So sorry to hear about your mom and your current situation. Caregiving is a very difficult job and it takes a special person to do it. It's important for you to obtain support wherever you can. Whether it's through virtual friends, in-person friends, neighbors, clergy, support groups.
If you're able to physically attend a support group, check with your local hospital and ask for a reference. Most hospitals host a variety of support groups at no charge. If you're unable to attend physically, conduct research online for caregiver support groups.
What you're experiencing is challenging, but as a wise person once told me, God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Stay strong and reach out. We're here for you!
@SSutton (6)
• United States
23 Oct 07
I keep telling myself that God will not give me more than I can handle. I say that everyday. The support that I have gotten through this website is amazing. Thank you. Although I want to get back to a normal life(whatever that is), I know that God wants me to do something else right now. That is what I am going to do. I will probably look into a support group online because I cannot leave my mother for any length of time. I am sorry to hear that so many others have been faced with this but it is good to know that I am not alone. Once again thank you and God bless you.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
23 Oct 07
hang in there. you are strong enough. I am much older than you...nearly your mom's age and I am taking care of my mom daily as well as holding a full time job as well as raising a 13 yr old singlely. It is not easy at all. It is draining to be honest. All said and done, you will feel good that you did the right thing.
@SSutton (6)
• United States
23 Oct 07
Thank you for responding. That is another problem that I am having. I really need a job but I don't have anyone to help me so right now I am at home all day. I am an accountant and I really want to work but I do understand that God has another plan for me right now. Thank you for your support and for taking the time to respond.
@jayger04 (64)
• Australia
24 Oct 07
Yes the rehab is hard work, they should also have a social worker assigned to your mum that you and her can discuss any problems or complaints with. I don't know the extent of her stroke, as my mum in law had 3 within 4 weeks and numerous other problems, her mind wanders sometimes. There is also a lot of help out there through your council, like nurses that shower and dress. Meals can be prepared. And you never know she may recover enough to be ablt to function with what she has, but that is what the rehab is there to teach her.
@amandathreatt (48)
• United States
23 Oct 07
In June I lost my dad to a stroke. He was bleeding on the brainstem where it was inoperable. The doctors gave him no hope. I have to tell you my dad had been telling us for a year or more that he didn't believe that he would be alive much longer but my brother, 2 sisters, mom and I didn't take him seriously, he was only 56 we told him and ourselves. I too have dealt with depression. However this past year my dad had been telling me he wanted me to be the strong one. It was completely hard for me to do. I didnt think I could do it either. My best advice to you would be to find the strength from within yourself and your family to handle it. If it hadnt been for my family and friends I don't think I could have done it.
