Can you say you are a good mother?

Philippines
October 23, 2007 5:14am CST
I am a mother of 3 kids, all boys. My first born is of my first husband. I have my other two from my existing relationship. They are, 17, 10 and 1 yr and 6 months. My oldest son is not living with us. He's with his grandmother, my parents. I left him when he was only 8 yrs old. He was a 2nd grader that time. I had to leave becoz I had to heal from a broken relationship. I was having a hard time accepting and forgetting what happened between me and his father. I only came back 7 years after when he was already 15. My son is all grown up now. I know he have questions in his heart and in his mind that he wanted to ask me but he cant. I cant ask him also coz I dont know if I have the answers. I am trying to reach out to him in all possible ways but there is distance between us. Now he has a girlfriend that I really don't like because she has a reputation for being a player. In fact this girl has been a girlfriend of my friend's husband. Yes, she's been "the other woman". I dont my son to get hurt but I cant tell him to leave the girl. If I'll tell him what I know about the girl and ask him to leave her, won't I be interfering with his life? I am his father and I believe I have the right and the obligation to guide him to what is right. If you were me, what do you think will you do?
2 responses
TriciaW
@TriciaW (2441)
• United States
28 Mar 08
First I have to say you can't take back the past you can only move on to the future. I do think you need to talk to your son about his feelings about you. You do not need to have all the answers just be honest when he asks. You also as a mother have the responsibility to tell your son what you know about the girl. I wouldn't say he can't see her because if you do that will only make him do it. Just tell him the facts and then you have to see what he does with it. At that age you can not force anything on him. I would probably have the feelings talk first so he doesn't blurt out his feelings after you tell him about this girl. Good luck and be strong!
alexigne
@alexigne (903)
• Philippines
27 Mar 08
A little bit confusing but maybe answer with a question... Do you mean that you are his father because his father was not around and you act as a mother and a father to him??? Well don't be sad for what happened with your marriage because life was that and you'll be able to find... no to have someone that is meant for you... About your son... its not your right but an obligation as a mother to tell him what you know... (Only the truth ok) I can say also that don't misjudge the girl because each one of us given the opportunity to change our life to make it right... Maybe talk to your son first in a very nice way and let him listen.. Tell him that you are not intend to hurt him and let him discover the truth... After telling him the situation, it was still your sons final decision if he leave the woman or stay because of love... Know what i mean when it comes to love... sometimes it didn't see what is wrong and right... Don't be bother to much about your son, its part of their grown up level... love has its hurt twin... okay...