Do you believe that friendships can last a life time?

@cobradene (1171)
India
October 23, 2007 7:29am CST
Do believe that friendships can last a life time? I have so far made many friends who have come and gone and most of them haven't stayed for long. So I started wondering what was going wrong in this. Then, I realised that I was being too prejudiced or egoistic always waiting for them to make the first move, always waiting for them to call me or mail me a letter. Then later, I made it a point that I would always show my love and care to my friends even if they are not reciprocating and it has worked very well for me. Now, I have more friends than I can imagine and all my friends love me because I love them and care for them. Truly, friendship is one gift from God which I cherish, and if really learn to take care of it, I think it can last for life. It's more beautiful than any other relationship.
5 people like this
26 responses
• United States
23 Oct 07
i tottaly agree with u, that true friendship last a life time first of all in friendship there should not be any ego or anything. and its depand upon us that what kind of friends we make. because,all other relations like "mom,dad,uncle,ant,cousine" comes as we born. but friendship is the relation we ourselve make. so at first time we have to be careful to build the friendship, once we r confident about friend we have to maintain it, otherwise there will be many walkin friends we meet everyday. just friends of money or habit. thats it.. i have few good friends and we can share all our feelings with each other.
2 people like this
@cobradene (1171)
• India
23 Oct 07
That's really nice. But friendship is one thing which can exist between closest and farthest and also between blood relations and impersonal relations.
2 people like this
• Canada
23 Oct 07
Hello... I enjoy conversations about friendships and welcome the chance to contribute. My view of all relationships is that they can be here for a reason...a season...or a lifetime. I think that those that end up being for a lifetime have what I call a 'soul connection.' They are the ones where we can be out of touch when 'life happens' but can always feel as if no time has lapsed when we are back in touch. My mother raised me with a belief that to have a friend you need to be one and I have been in the place you describe where you wait for others to initiate the call...rather than doing it myself. My hubby and I learned the importance of honoring friends by keeping in touch and letting them know you care when we moved out to a remote area and lost track of friends for a couple of years. When we came back we vowed to keep in touch and mae sure we visit, call and spend quality time with them on a regular basis. Both our parents have passed on and we do not have siblings so our friends have become our soul family and we love the history we have with each of them. We share the good times and rough times and life would feel very different without their presence in our lives. They are a blessing and the gift of their friendship keeps on giving. So yes, I agree when you have relationships based on openness and trust...there is much love and they can last a lifetime. Great topic and thanks for giving me a chance to celebrate the friends who make our life sweeter because they are in it! Cheers, Raia
@cobradene (1171)
• India
23 Oct 07
I totally agree with you. For a friendship to last a lifetime it has to be a soul connection. Only, when you strike the right chord which is the soul, does it establish something permanent. Am beginning to experience it now a days with my friends.
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
23 Oct 07
I definetly think friendship can last a lifetime. I met my best friend we were 5. We are 26 now and have always kept in touch. We both have moved a few times and now we live 8 hours away from each other. My mom is still friends with a woman that she ran around with in highschool. the funny thing is they are now inlaws because my sister married her friends son. now they are bonded even more.
@cobradene (1171)
• India
23 Oct 07
That's what vedanta or spiritualism would call as karma. :)
• Malaysia
23 Oct 07
Yeah, I agree with what you said. Friendship can be last longer. Actually, I myself not hope for lots of friends but what I want is a real friend. I prefer to have 2-3 real friends that's enough for me. I hope I have a friend who is totally understand me and stay with me all the time. I believe only real friend will be last longer in our life.
1 person likes this
@cobradene (1171)
• India
23 Oct 07
Yes, friends have to be true and honest and caring and forgiving otherwise it isn't friendship right?
1 person likes this
@nangel78 (1458)
• United States
23 Oct 07
True friendships can last a life time. Unfortunately at times, life experiences alter friendships in ways that are hard to control and changes we did not see coming.
1 person likes this
@cobradene (1171)
• India
23 Oct 07
You are right, all of us have different paths to take in life and it's difficult sometimes that our paths drift us away from each other.
1 person likes this
@poohgal (6847)
• Singapore
23 Oct 07
Hello there. I believe there are 3 types of friends: 1. Some are here for a reason 2. Some are here for a season 3. Some are here for a lifetime Friendships can definitely last for a lifetime but not all can. It takes a lot for a friendship to last. It takes mutual effort. Most importantly is to treasure all the friends we have now and treat all of them with sincerity.
1 person likes this
@cobradene (1171)
• India
23 Oct 07
That's a very sweet way of putting it. I like your view and way of presentation.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11496)
• India
23 Oct 07
Friendships can definitely last a lifetime -I will give you an example of my friendship with my childhood friend. We have been friends for the past 42 years now. We are married and have adult children. She has two grand children and the third is on its way-she has gone abroad to help her daughter who is now in the final month of her pregnancy and we have been fortunate to keep in touch, . Though there was an interval initially when we got married and lost touch for a very few years, for more than 17 years we have been in touch now.-We talk to each other once a while-may be twice ot thrice a year-long distance calls], but now after I have relocated and her daughters have all been married we keep in touch through the net. We were chatting yesterday, she was recounting her trip to her daughter's place and believe it or not, my mike is not working but I made her talk while I kept the pace by typing out messages. Friendships can definitely last a life time. I have other school and college friends too. But there must be reciprocity in this too. If one person has to always make the first move relationship can never go far. This reciprocity is essential not only in friendships but in blood relationship too. Waiting for another person to make the first move and desire only to respond will not sustain a relationship. I agree with you that friendship is more beautiful than any other relationship because this is one where we choose our own friends and expectations are relatively less in a friendship. You will get disappointed with friends sometimes but this is likely to disappear faster, once the friend makes a caring gesture. One thing that I have learnt in life is that relationship needs ''MAINTENANCE''-you have to constantly work at this and not take things for granted. Taking things for granted and taking people for granted is the sure recipe for the ruining of any relationship.
1 person likes this
@cobradene (1171)
• India
23 Oct 07
Life itself is such a big teacher, isn't it? There is so much to learn from it. We can't just throw it away like that. I agree with you so much.
1 person likes this
@paulinez (115)
• Malaysia
23 Oct 07
yes,i believe friendships can last a life time.but i believe sometimes u have 2 make a first move..sometimes,u have to give them a call or sms just 2 say hi.ask them out for lunch or something.it would be fun.i have a best friend who's not staying in my country.but we still contact each other.no matter how far she is we still chat over the phone almost every week.that's what friend are for...
1 person likes this
@cobradene (1171)
• India
23 Oct 07
It's so important to show that we care.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Oct 07
People change and priorities change. I think a friendship that can withstand all obstacles in life is really ideal but is quite hard to find.
1 person likes this
@shadowing (309)
• Malaysia
24 Oct 07
Hi Cobradene. Personally, I believe that friendship can last a life time. But to be honest, not much friendship can last that long. Haha. I do have friends come and gone just like this but I have friends who always by my side since I was small. I will cherish every friend who wants to be my friend and the friendship will this, I believe, it will last.
@cobradene (1171)
• India
24 Oct 07
I have also faced that and I was disillusioned many times when people walked into my life and made a huge difference and just vanished. Then, after that I have always been ready to expect the unexpected.
• Malaysia
24 Oct 07
Yea, sometimes it's sad to say that life tends to be like this. Anyway, I believe there are still people out there will stay in the friendship forever. I mean those that enter and left just like this, sometimes I just skeptical about the issue of whether those people are consider as "friend"? Haha. I believe true friend will always be there for us.
@raychill (6529)
• United States
24 Oct 07
I believe that they can. However, I believe that it's a very rare thing. I don't believe at all that it's a common thing. There aren't many people who have such strong friendships that could and would last a lifetime. I think that's a really great thing. I wish that I had such a strong relationship with anyone.
@cobradene (1171)
• India
24 Oct 07
It happen. I didn't believe it myself until I really found a few friends off late. The best thing was, I found them only when I started finding myself from within. When I started connecting deeper with my heart, I found, a few others similar to my thinking, and they also felt connected to me because they were also connected to their hearts. :) So start connecting to your heart more, and you will surely find friends who would stay longer.
@raychill (6529)
• United States
24 Oct 07
It's pretty bold of you to make such an assumption about someone you don't even know.
@jeanniemay (1801)
• Philippines
24 Oct 07
Yes, I believe that it lasts a life time.. Relationships that we cherish will forever linger. Spread the love!
@cobradene (1171)
• India
31 Oct 07
Thanks!
@isaiah12 (417)
• United States
24 Oct 07
True friendship should last a life time. A true friend should stand by you in the bad times as well as the good. When things are going bad it becomes clear who the real friends are. So many people hang on to others, claiming to be their friend, but only looking out for what they can get. Once there is nothing more they can gain, they leave. But true friendship is a gift from God. And as with any gift from God we must be thankful for it. We must be there for the friend just as much as we want them to be there for us. We need to let them know how much their friendship means to us. As a flower will only grow as we water it. So a friendship will only grow when we nurture it.
@cobradene (1171)
• India
24 Oct 07
I can see you speak from experience as well. It's very essential to nurture friendship. I will quote a few words of Paramahansa Yogananda. There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first. Very few persons are free from self-centeredness. Yet one can develop the quality of unselfishness very easily if he practices thinking of others first. True friendship established in God is the only relationship that is lasting. He also said, Frienship is the purest form of God's love because it is born of the heart's free choice and is not imposed upon us by familial instinct. Ideal friends never part, nothing can sever their fraternal relationship.
@Ravenladyj (22919)
• United States
24 Oct 07
I dont think that ALL or just ANY friendship can last a lifetime..I mean ppl change and sometimes friends grow apart or maybe they have a huge fight that causes permanent damage to the relationship BUT I do know and believe that some friendships CAN last a lifetime...I've friends that have been in my life for over 30 yrs and will be for the rest of my life ya know....So yes I do think that some friendships can last forever :-)
@cobradene (1171)
• India
24 Oct 07
Yes, some friendships do. But wouldn't be nice, if we just extended the chain and create a long circle of friends which would help us create a better environment?
• China
24 Oct 07
Hi,friend.In my opinion,I believe that friendship can last a life time.if it can't last,the "friend" is not your true friend.You said most of your friend haven't stayed for long,maybe you should find some reasons from yourself.At the end,hope you will have more and more long-term friends.
@cobradene (1171)
• India
24 Oct 07
Thank you so much. :) Wish you too with many true friends who show love and care.
@vokey9472 (1488)
• United States
24 Oct 07
I have always thought that a real friend is someone who you can go years without talking to or seeing and then pick up the phone and it is like you just spoke to them yesterday. My mom has a few friends like that. I haven't been so lucky. The longest friendships I have right now are with two guys. One I have known almost 11 years and the other I have known just over 12 years. I can go months without talking to them and then pick up the phone and we pick up right where we left off. I guess you could say I have kept up somethign like a friendship with two girls from high school. That would make them my friends for 20 years now. The problem with those girls is that we only talk online now. One is in Europe with her Air Force hubby and the other is in Alaska. So we just email each other. I think that any relationship can last a lifetime so long as there is mutal respect for one another and a true abiding love for each other. You also have to nurture and care for your relationships. Friendship is one of the most beautiful relationships in the world. It is one of the few relationships in life that you choose to take part in. My mom says that true friends are the most precious gift that God can give a person other than children.
@cobradene (1171)
• India
24 Oct 07
I do have one friend who lives the states. She hardly ever writes to me, but when we see each other online, it's just love coming back again and her feeling are always the same for me. And even mine are the same...!
• United States
24 Oct 07
Yes I believe they can last a very long time. I have 1 friend I have known for 14 yrs and shes more like a sister to me than my own at times.The funny thing is I met her thru my ex husband. They dated for a couple yrs and most of the time their out time would be at my house. This sort of bothered her for a while but then after she realized what an a** he was she and I were better friends and then they broke up and we are still best friends.I have made alot of friendships on the net. Its been about 4 almost 5 yrs since I first got on the internet. I began by joining 1 MSN group and then made friends and joined others. Some of the friends have shown their tru colors after a few yrs but the others are still on my friends list and we talk almost daily.Some are better friends then real life friends in my town.I agree about Friendships being a gift of God as are our children. I cherish each and every friendship I have. I am in alot of MSN groups and I love to post things to make them smile.
@cobradene (1171)
• India
24 Oct 07
That's really nice. We learn through experience also, but we have to be honest even if others aren't. So, our honesty and love will surely attract people with similar qualities. The universe has it's laws that way. :)
• United States
23 Oct 07
It's good that you feel that way because in order to have good friends you first have to be "a friend". I also believe certain friendships can last a lifetime. Not all of them though because some people aren't genuine. However, if you have a connection with someone and that friend is trustworthy, I don't see why the frienship wouldn't last.
@cobradene (1171)
• India
24 Oct 07
Nice comment!! I like that.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Oct 07
It depends on the person. Some people are meant to be in our lives for shorter periods of time. We are meant to be in some people lives for a shorter period of time in the same way. There are some people who just do not seem to need friends as much. They make their families--wives, husbands, cousins, other relatives--their friends and are more than satisfied with them. Friendships last a lifetime when they are meant to. Others? Well, they aren't meant to. They fill a need during a certain time period for both people. Some just get lost in the wind. It also depends on what kind of friendship it is. A coworker who is enjoyed at work might not be someone's best buddy outside of those confines. A beloved high school friend may take a different path in life passed the day diplomas are handed out. Does that mean that they were not loved or that they did not love you? No, I don't think so. We can't hold onto everyone, there isn't enough time inside our lives to do that. There is an amount of time that is devoted to friends and maintaining them. Just comes with it! We can remain friendly with many, granted, but they might not be close friends as they once were. That doesn't make them NOT friends either. It's a strange balance. Being a good friend is a part of it, certainly, but it wasn't neccessarily that you weren't a good friend that you did not keep them all. It may have just been circumstance. Don't beat yourself up. What is meant to be, will. What isn't, won't. Friendships CAN last a lifetime, certainly. Just know that there are always friends out there that still love you that have lost contact because that's what life does on occasion, too. It can be no one's 'fault'.
@cobradene (1171)
• India
24 Oct 07
I'm not saying if it's anybody's fault or not. Am just asking if you believe it can last or not. Am also saying, if we make an effort to make it last, yes we can. Especially, with the ones with whom we feel a soul connection, we can make it last. Yes, we can't hold on to everyone. Friendship is not about holding on to everyone, it's about maintaining the connection. Holding on means attachment, it means stifling yourself and the other person. Holding on can never be equal to friendship. Friendship is something so beautiful, it helps each other grow individually from inside. Friendship is only perfect when both of you feel complete through the process. The ones which are not meant to be, am not bothered about them. :) But the ones which can be maintained, I say, we should try not to spoil them.
• Romania
26 Oct 07
Well some friendships last a life time and some other last not much.Just like this friend+(ships)some ships last a life time and some ships sank right away.