10 Year Old with No Indepenence
By Bytemi
@Bytemi (1553)
United States
October 23, 2007 8:54am CST
My 10 year old step daughter has no independence at all, and I am concerned. Over the weekend she would not stay outside in the front yard for 5 minutes while her dad used the bathroom. I really think she needs to get out there and start discovering things for herself and her father agrees, I am just not sure how to help her. She says if she is alone outside someone is going to come and kidnap her and take her way.
No offense and not to sound upity, but we live in a country club community with security protrols, nobody is going to come and take her if she is outside for 5 minutes by herself. Has anybody else ever encountered something like this?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
23 Oct 07
She is 10, that is old enough to be able to play by herself. I don't think I am asking to much of her. By the time her dad and I were both 10 we could make ourselves breakfast and we went out to play on our bikes with our friends.
It just doesn't seem normal to me, to want to be right on top of your parents all the time and not have friends. My three year old has more independence.
1 person likes this
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
23 Oct 07
This is a scary and different world for the kids today compared to how we were. The kids hear stories on the news, they hear it at school, they read about it on the computer. All of those things are factors that we most likely didn't have to deal with. I would worry about it if your daughter isn't playing in the house by herself, but outside I can understand her fears. I have to admit, when I am outside alone sometimes and the air is still and quiet and I can't hear or see my neighbors it still feels like a big and lonely place. I wish you the best of luck! Have you asked your pediatrician about your daughter's behavior?
1 person likes this
@MoStBeAuTiFuL (18)
• United States
23 Oct 07
Maybe talk to her and explain to her that its a safe community and shes safe with you and Daddy. She at 10 years old should understand a good quality talk and help her feel safe. Heck give her a whistle to make her feel safe. Or ya could just go out there with her everyday with a chair for how ever long and then the next day pull the chair closer to the house everyday after closer to the house till ya finally in the house. Or do gardening or lawn work or something so maybe youre in and out all the time. Let her know ya never far away. She screams you will hear. Let her know her safety is inportant to you. That you live in a wonderful neighborhood. Does she have friends? Encourage that and encourage her to visit the ones that are a few houses away. Let her know youre watching her as she goes to her friends house. Be like peeking out the door and give her that security that youre there. At 10 she shouldnt be so afraid unless maybe the Mother( or someone close) has made her scared.
1 person likes this
@Bytemi (1553)
• United States
23 Oct 07
Yes, we tried to talk to her this weekend and she rejected out reality. We try and do other things, but she stands right on top of you the whole time, I mean not more than half a step away. She does not have any friends in the neighborhood, we do have kids her own age right next door but she refuses to talk to them, says it is embarrassing.
I really am at a lose on how to help her.
1 person likes this
@THKOhio (329)
• United States
30 Oct 07
Some children are just more clingy than others, and especially those from blended families. My daughter is almost 15, and she still prefers to stay close to home and mom when she is here. She's been to counseling, and we've been told that it's just her personality...she's going to be introverted and home oriented, just like her mother. Sounds like you might just be trying to turn an introvert into an extrovert....try just letting her be instead.
