Your Kids and Myspace

United States
October 23, 2007 9:43pm CST
All three of my teenagers (19,16 and 15 years of age) have a myspace. I do not know their passwords, but I have each of them as a friend. I am contantly going to their pages and reading the content and asking their friends to be a friend on mine, this way I can see what my teen is saying as well. Some add me some do not. My youngest son has blocked me off of his page, so I started posting bulletins to him, telling him that when he unblocks me I will stop with the posts. One of my teens friends parent made her daughter give her the password and had to make a promise not to erase any comment or message until after mom checked it. I think that is a good idea, but I also think it is invading their privacy. What do you think? Should we as parents have the password to our teenagers myspace?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@cikedo (3485)
• United States
24 Oct 07
I'm not a parent, but I can give you an opinion from your childrens point of view. I had some trouble with this situation a few months back. I'm 19, have a myspace and would never let my parents see it. For one thing my myspace page is to keep in contact with old school friends and other people I can't talk with face to face on a regular basis. I really don't feel the need to talk to my parents, whom I see every day, on the internet. The second reason I would never let them be my friends on that site is because I would always feel like I'm being monitored by them. I'm a good girl and would never put up racey pictures or lude comments on a website. With that being said there are things that I'd rather them not see or judge me for. Keeping them out of that part of my life keeps a balance between my relationship with my family and my relationship with friends.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Oct 07
Very well put. It is difficult as a parent to give up that type of control; even once they turn 18. My mother has put it very well though. We may not always agree; but I am an adult and she knows I am going to do what I want to do. She will express her opinion and I try not to get upset if she doesn't agree. I monitor my children's internet access to some degree; but I don't stand over them. My 18 year old has a My Space and I didn't always agree with her posts/ideas; but I let her do what she needed to do. I think it was her way of asserting her independence w/o being rude and obnoxious. She never posted anything raunchy; such as pics, etc...but I did keep tabs on it. She was also very good with blocking people who acted strange or nutty. My 16 year old I have caught looking up inappropriate sites. I told her she is not too do that, then I but a block on those type of sites. I also know it is normal to be curious; so I just watch her and ask lots of questions. Basically, I let them be pretty independent within reason. But they know that I am always here to help them if they have an issue online or out in the world and I try not judge them--too harshly. :)
@vokey9472 (1488)
• United States
24 Oct 07
I am not sure about having your child's password, but I think as parents we need to keep tabs on what our children are posting to their personal webpages. Alot of kids don't realize that prospective employers are now starting to go to MySpace and Facebook to look for applicants' pages. Then based on what they see, that applicant may or may not be called for an interview. Also, I don't know about where you live, but here they have started showing PSAs on TV showing that anyone can see what you post to the internet. It shows grown men asking a young girl what color her panties are and when is she going to post something new. It is scary to think that many parents have no idea what their children are posting on the internet. Remember that girl earlier this year? I cannot remember her name, but they found her in Texas. She was 13 and had been lured away by her so-called internet friend who was only 15. They met on MySpace and he was 36. He molested and assaulted her repeatedly before she was able to get away and get help. Our kids may not like it, but as parents it is our job to protect them and if that mean invading their privacy sometimes, then we have to do it. I know one mom who has a MySpace account and her profile says that she is a 16 year old girl. She has tricked her two kids into adding her to their MySpace friends. This is how she keeps tabs on them. You gotta do what you gotta to keep your kids safe.
@laydee (12809)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
I definitely agree. Sometimes kids think they're already mature enough or old enough but they are just not. I know my little brother's password in friendster and all the accounts. I don't really 'check on it' because all of our family members and relatives are added there. But it really helps to keep a closer look without them knowing it. There's no sense of them knowing you are one of their friends because they can always create another page and use that page with you in it as a pseudo page. You get what I mean? :) Why don't you just act as if you're a stranger who is good looking and wants to be friends. That's it. By then you'll actually see the 'real' deal with your kids. But of course, don't go out monitoring all the time. You also hated it when your parents monitored you too much when you were younger. =) Good luck. Indeed it's better safe than sorry.
• United States
2 Nov 07
If you really trust your child there really is no need for that. Until they do something thats makes you loose your rust in them, theres no reason why you should have it.
• United States
1 Nov 07
The problem with myspace is that it carries both positive and negative thoughts and ideas when it comes to parents considering whether or not their kids should have their own page. In my particular experience I had added one of my daughter's step-sisters as one of my friends and the step-mother actually got upset with me for encouraging access to the site. I had actually suggested to her that I thought that she had allowed her to have the site that she (the step-sister's mother) had the password and was monitoring the activity. Apparently this wasn't the case (though she still has her page to this day). Having the password to the site is definitely a good idea, as a parent; however, who is to say that the son/daughter wouldn't just set up a second account under a different name/age/location? Would it be too far of a stretch to say that a kid would figure out a way to have a site that wouldn't sound like their person at all? Although I have never heard of something like this happening, it is something that I have given some thought to.
@nangel78 (1458)
• United States
25 Oct 07
The 19 year old is an "adult." So you really cannot make them do anything unless they're living under your roof then you exert a degree of influence. On the other two, just let them know you want them to be safe especially with a lot of bad people out there.
@angemac23 (2004)
• Canada
24 Oct 07
If they are living under your roof, than they live by your rules!! Yes, you have every right to have their passwords. I dont want to worry you any more, but Im sure you are already aware of the dangers that lurk on the web which is why you keep tabs on their activity. They may not like it, but its for their own good and besides, if they are not doing anything bad, they shouldnt care anyway! When I grew up, my mother was constantly keeping tabs on everything i did and I hated it! But now I know why she did it and I know it was because she cared.
• United States
24 Oct 07
im 19 years old, and from experience friends of mine had one myspace that their parents saw, and one that their parents did see. my dad never really cared about any of that stuff so it didnt matter to me. Thats invasion of privacy making her give her the password! Thats stupid. Its not even that big of a deal. You just talk to your friends, just like the phone