I need advice please!!!!! I want to save my relationship but I don't know how!!!

I understand what you're going through. I had two kids and my husband was 19 at the time, he wanted to stay out with his friends (which he needed at the time). He started coming in at 4 in the morning. After complaining and complaining I turned into a wife and a mother that was controling his life (which I never wanted to). After my complaining and the arguing he stopped going out. (which I didn't want him to stop and just wanted him home at a desent hour. Now he don't go out, and he's 25. Everytime I say go out and be with your friends, he brings up that I always complained. My point is he needs his space, just like you need yours. Be there for hi no matter what and make him understand that no matter what kind of trouble that he gets into that you're always going to be there. He needs to grow up first. Good Luck :)

I think you should start over (with the same guy) like the first time both of you committed for relationship, it's like saving anything else in your life. You need to state clearly in your mind that your relationship is really valuable and it's worth to sacrifice. Discuss with your boyfriend, explaint to him what do you expect from him and ask him about his opinion,what he is actually want from you in postitive ways. Once everything is clear, try to assess the damage, what is the consequences of your relationship if it keesp going. Sometimes it takes time to do this, both of you should be lay low for a while. Keep thinking about the best moment in your relationship, this will help you both tenacious with your good intention. You have to be honest with yourself. Makes review on how is your/his behaviour, ask your best friends, family what change from both of you lately, you might think everything is still the same, but it's about you judging yourself, you better ask them. If you never ask, you'll never know. The next step is love. Do you really love him? Everyone people have his/her weakness, nobody is perfect. Realise this and start to tolerance, he'll do the same. Ask your boyfriend, apologize if necessary. Spare more time to talk, that will be helpfull. As you could see, there're so many crappy relationships, I use celebrity as example, the man became so famous so does the woman. No one ever think that they will divorce, they're perfect, the problem is, they just see the good side in their partner, not try to deal with the bad things, once the bad thing blow-up, they're divorce. That's why I suggest you to give more tolerance. Hope this will help you. Wish you all the best hotmamma_05.

It's good that you're wanting to do what it takes to make your relationship work. If your fiance doesn't, though, then things won't ever work out. It takes two people people to make a relationship work, one just doesn't cut it. Unfortunately, a lot of relationships like yours (meaning teen relationships, especially those with children involved) don't work out. You can't force your fiance to grow up. He's still just a kid himself, who obviously wasn't ready to have any kids of his own. Can you live with someone that isn't ready to grow up and face reality? You could try, but it wouldn't be right for you or for your son. I'd suggest getting into some parenting classes (for your fiance) and some counseling for the two of you, both together and individually. If your fiance refuses to go, then that should tell you how much this relationship and his son means to him. After that, you'll really need to take a good, hard look at where things are headed and decide what to do about it.

He is taking on a huge responsibility watching the baby and your mom all day long. He is young too and would like time away from the baby. I know working all day is hard but a small baby is very hard work all day too. He is very young but is actually being very grown up in staying and being there for the baby. I would stop trying to prevent him from going out. Let him. Let this be time that you can share with you baby alone. You are gone all day and the baby would love to spend time with ya. I think once he feels they you are understanding his needs he will stop wanting to play tug of war with you. Then when you feel like you really need a night away, he will likely want to give that to you too. Both of you are very young and have great responsibilities and that is very hard for both of you. Good Luck!

Actually you are dealing with young man with bad attitude. Fighting is not the solution, whereas it will exacerbate the worse situation that you are having now. You have to focus on caring your baby and no more try to produce any argument or nagging issue. I know it is an uneasy way out, but worse comes to worse, this is only the solution. Regarding attitude, only psychological affections that really works. Just be good to him until he realized that you really need him in your life for goodness. It will takes time for sure.

Hello there, I can say that I know exactly what you are going through here. Me and my husband argue like cat and dog. He's 19 and I'm 21. We got married last December, and since then our relationship went seriously downhill! We have started going to marriage guidance counselling which has really helped, because it is generally down to poor communication between us. We have started to think about trying for a baby, but I need him to be a husband first and not just one of the lads. I appreciate that we both need our space, but after a while it will just feel like you are restricting him and you are more likely to break up! Give him some spcae, tell him how he makes you feel but tell him you just want him to understand at first, before he tries to do anything about it! That's the first step, talking and understanding each other without having to scream and shout. I'm not going to lie to you, it will be really hard, but everntually it will work. IT just depends on how much time and patience you are willing to give him! Whatever you decide to do, good luck and I really hope it all works out for you!

If you could get some one to watch the baby for a few times I would follow him and set in on his drinking with his buudies if he complains say well this is our only time we can be together for you are out to late! Cant really change him but maybe point out and you probably have already that you both share in haveing the baby and he need to bond more with the baby than with his old friends. HIs family comes first then the friends and also maybe you can start making friends with married couples that live close to you so that you both can enjoy their friendship together

Yes I am with you that now that he is already a daddy, he should take things a little bit seriously. He has his responsibility now, and he must face it. That is something ideal. But the fact is, your fiance is still immature to realize it. That is the problem being into a responsibility at a young age. it is because not all, is ready to think maturely. I know that, I got married at an early age. And its never easy. There is a life your boyfriend would be missing. And forcing him to face his responsibility make him feel that you are snatching his freedom to him. I am sorry to say but it seems that your fiance is not matured enough to understand your miseries. I dont know what to say, because it will take time for him to understand your point, esp if his brothers are like that. So it will require more patience from you.

sorry i dont know how to help you but good luck in hte future for you and your relashionship!!!

I think if you really love him,you should try your best to help him love you again.For example,you can invite him to dance at the weekend.You also should give him much more space.Of course,if you think he dose not love you,please give him up bravely.