Is woman bashing "offensive"?

@foxyfire33 (10009)
United States
October 31, 2007 2:33pm CST
I mean derogatory discussions here. I've seen several that put down women...bad drivers, nagging wives, too emotional, hard to please... the list goes on. I personally think they are offensive to me, but that doesn't mean the general population does. I'm sure there are a lot of topics one person or another finds offensive that aren't offensive in general. So what about these discussings that are demeaning to women? Do they actually constitute an "offensive" discussion? What if the discussions put down men? whites?blacks?other minority groups? the disabled? old people? circus clowns? trained monkeys? Would it make a difference?
5 people like this
11 responses
@seabeauty (1480)
• United States
31 Oct 07
Honestly, I haven't seen those types of discussions on mylot or any other site. It's always the woman bashing the man. If there are discussions like those, then those guys are just as offensive as the discussions the women post about men. Most of the time the person is just venting. I don't believe the people posting these discussions hate women, men, black, whites etc. I do get insulted when someone says women are too emotional but in actuality they are speaking the truth. Women do get emotional at times. How many men cry over silly things or even cry at all? As far as the other items you listed, since I am not black, not an old person, not disabled, anything said about them would not offend me.
2 people like this
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
1 Nov 07
"Honestly, I haven't seen those types of discussions on mylot or any other site. It's always the woman bashing the man."-[/quote] You win at life. Collect your [Keys to the Internet] at the Winner's circle. But of course mylotters won't see it that way. When men critique women and show examples of women being cruel, sick, nasty; then those guys are just evil and hate women. But when women do it to guys (sometimes some of those complaints are pretty rigged), its all in good fun and she's being independent, etc. "I don't believe the people posting these discussions hate women, men, black, whites etc. I do get insulted when someone says women are too emotional but in actuality they are speaking the truth. Women do get emotional at times."-[/quote] I actually believe in true emotional expression, but I've seen manipulation via faking certain key emotions and yes I've had it used on me a few too many times. "How many men cry over silly things or even cry at all?"-[/quote] Some do cry but its either done in private and not admitted, or done after having a chain of devastating things happen to them (sometimes women are the catalyst, but other times it could be something else, job/social standing). Oh and depending on the culture, men are told not to cry or express emotion, otherwise they are sissies, wimps, weak, etc. And on the other side of that equation, if men don't show emotion they are cold, distant, etc. Its no-win one of many situations that exist for men.
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
1 Nov 07
I don't have as much of a problem with the ones like "My wife/husband is a ____" because I know they are venting about one specific person (who very well may be be exactly as described) not a whole group of people. I was referring just to the ones that say women in general are _____. "Women do get emotional at times." Yes and so do men, we just have a tendancy to express it differently and society often expects men to repress their emotions that are not stereotypically "manly". And that's where the problem lies, we continue to allow people to think "emotional behavior" is only a woman thing, therefore men are programmed to not understand emotions in the same way as women do and then the cycle repeats when these same men go around talking about how emotional women are.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
1 Nov 07
I am comfortable enough in my position as a child of God not to care what others say of me. Especially, strangers on Mylot that don't even really know me.
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Yes but even children of God should share there opinions on subjects here rather than just hiding behind Him. I'm much more interested in your feeling about these topics than your religious affiliation especially since I wasn't talking about you but women in general. :)
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
4 Nov 07
It has nothing to do with God. That is simply how I identify myself. I could have also said that I am comfortable enough in my position as a 38 year old woman not to care what people on Mylot say about my gender. What people say, is not going to change who you are. That is my point. It does not matter if it is my age, religion, race or whatever. When people down me, it doesn't bother me because I know who I am. If I do not like what someone says on Mylot, I skip it and go on. I may comment on it later, but it is hardly a big deal.
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
31 Oct 07
Here is one Person that agrees with you well and truly I am so fed up of reading it when I sometimes go through some Discussions that are not by my Friends which is very rare It really gets my Back up that some Men think they are so perfect and us Women are just a pain So I agree with you Sweet it is offensive
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
1 Nov 07
Thanks gabs! I'm really glad I'm not the only one noticing this and feeling that way.
1 person likes this
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
1 Nov 07
And It REALLY gets to me with all the women that think they are perfect and men are the dirt beneath the dirt beneath their feet. I've seen threads on mylot that do indeed make fun of guys, sometimes cruelly and others that just put down guys outright. I'm getting fed up too! But again, from my perspective I've seen anything that even seems like a female bash get deleted almost instantly; while anything that's a male bash gets to stay up and becomes a "today's hot discussion" -_-
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
1 Nov 07
Well they should be deleted to Theprogrammer I meant no offence I am a woman who got out of a bad Marriage whose Ex Husband was always making her worthless and that so please take no offence I was only pointing out that it does get to me and what I mean by that is why are there such People about and why do they have to do it
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
1 Nov 07
Wow its like looking at a mirror. But Foxy in my experience even mere critiquing of what SOME women have done is automatically assigned as woman bashing, not just on mylot but pretty much anywhere. On mylot, usually any thread that even depicts one woman as cruel or something, is automatically deleted. At least that's how I've seen it in my short time here. Now here's the catcher. I've seen threads and posts putting down men on mylot (and plenty of other places on the net). In mylot's case, the threads stay even though some paint all or some men as crappy, worthless, lazy, stupid, etc. No deletion of those threads at all. Oh and if a guy tries to point out a different perspective, he's [insert every insult under the sun here], and the star rating goes down. But its fine. Everyone's been taught, women = good/perfect, men =bad/dumb/evil,etc.
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
1 Nov 07
And when it comes to general things I'm usually one to call it as I've seen and experienced it. Drivers for example, both men and women suck at it. I've highlighted that plenty of times. Even today I passed up 4 car accidents on the way to work, it was both men and women. Despite that, I still don't care, people stateside are terrible drivers. Nagging? It happens and I have some knowledge on it, a good deal of it is just very overcritical garbage. I've seen a couple of nagging men too, but in my experience its a rare sight. Hard to please...yes. Again, my perspective, I LIVED it and so have others. Foxy, I won't apologize for anything because I do not have to. And like I pointed out... men get bashed too, even on mylot, it happens plenty of times.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Well I definitely wasn't talking about every discussion that critiqes a female...and I can take criticism too. I think we cleared the air enough already though...:)
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Don't worry Foxy, you are right and we've been having a better relationship since this. I for one like it a lot! Until next time, I've got to get me some rest!
@Sharon38 (1915)
• Jamaica
1 Nov 07
look honestly I hear it every day here in Jamaica. Have you eve listened to some of our dancehall songs? some of them belittle women and these women sing along with it and dance with to these musics. As for me I am fed up with it because the men are not all innocent and perfect and they wish us all to think. When talking to a guy you cant even trust him because you have to be wondering if he is just a player or a liar. I agree with you and I think that these types of discussions should be ignored and not given the light of day.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Society/culture does I think play a big part in keeping these stereotypes going. LOL It isn't really funny but I just don't want you to think I'm mad..."men are not all innocent and perfect and they wish us all to think. When talking to a guy you cant even trust him because you have to be wondering if he is just a player or a liar" -isn't that doing the same thing to men that we are saying they shouldn't do to women? ALL bashing should stop, from both sides.
1 person likes this
@Sharon38 (1915)
• Jamaica
8 Nov 07
Well I gues you are right on that. We have to have a sense of balance and I do apologise.
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
1 Nov 07
Yeah Generally speaking HUMAN BASHING is VIOLENCE...and woman bashing is offensive. I mean face it people nobody wants to get hurt. If im hurt i fight back. And that is the start of mess that you know you cannot get rid off easily. There goes the tears falling down your cheeks, bone breaking, jaw dislocating things and thats scary. And nobody wants that, hurting is connected to psychological behaviour of humans.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Umm well yeah that's bad too...guess you didn't read what the discussion was about.
@lucky_witch (2711)
• Philippines
1 Nov 07
well, i guess there are some discussions here that is offensive in the part of the men. I believe how things goes on here. We can do nothing about it. they would say what they think about us, and we would say what we think about them. Different people think and believe differently. But I think that it would be better if we mean no9 harm to anyone.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Yes you are absolutely right. It does go both ways and none of it is appropriate.
@rimsha (806)
• Pakistan
1 Nov 07
I am also a woman. When I drive a car I become very nervious. I don't know why. I can't drive on busy road.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
3 Nov 07
And you just made my point for me about why we need to stop thse derogatory discussions. Any chance that maybe you get so nervous driving because you've been raised to believe that women are bad drivers? I'm betting yes.
• United States
1 Nov 07
Women can play that game too. How about we do some men bashing on here:)
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
3 Nov 07
No thanks... First, It would be missing the point. Secondly, I'm not going to bash all men. There are good ones out there that I wouldn't want to hurt.
• United States
1 Nov 07
I kind of take discussions that talk bad about women, even little things such as women being bad drivers, etc as offensive. The problem with those discussions is it's happened so much, and we're so used to it, we really don't call people out on it. Our society has gotten used to so much violence, and offensive speech, we just kind of let the smaller things go.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Yes, ery true! Except the more we let it go the more these opinions get perpetuated. Sure SOME women are bad drivers, some men are too. But women don't stand up enough and say hey I am a good driver so everyone jus believes the old opinions...and even when women do take a stand on it the are being "silly little emotional women"
@pendragon (3352)
• United States
31 Oct 07
I don't believe in any thread that generalizes a race, creed, orientation or gender.It's those topics looking to make some change on swift angry answers.It's not right, it's kind of like yelling "fire" in a crowded theatre, just because you can doen't mean you should.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
1 Nov 07
Exactly, they are all bad. I just didn't think to start a whole disussion on all of them....kind of wishing I had now.