For all parents! Very serious topic!
By Foxxee
@Foxxee (3651)
United States
November 2, 2007 12:47am CST
I want to know what all you parents out there would do in this situation…
What if a neighbor came knocking on your door & told you they were driving by the school earlier & saw your child outside in front of the school all alone without a teacher in site?
Keep in mind your child at the time is only 5 & in Kindergarten..
What would you do?
I just had my neighbor come knocking on my door telling me they saw my daughter outside the school all alone looking like she was lost.
I'm just hearing about it, it's been a day or two.
Of course the school wouldn't call me about it, they don't want to get in trouble..
I guess they are shitcreek out of luck now. They had no idea my neighbor would be driving by or that my neighbor was the one that brought my daughter back into the office.
But anyway, I was so upset, I actually started crying..
I got the news late, so I couldn't call the school, but I did write the school princapal, the school counselor & my daughters teacher all an email, letting them all know that I do know what happened and that my daughter wont be in school tomorrow because I feel she isn't safe and that I want a meeting ASAP!
After talking more with my neighbor & daughter I also found out that the reason my daughter was outside was because the teacher told her to go look for her coat.
Instead of making sure my daughter went to the playground for some reason, her teacher and the teachers aid stayed in the classroom…
So during this time, my daughter somehow made it passed the office and on outside to the front of the school and right by a busy road..
The same road that just weeks ago all us parents got a letter telling us that there was some pervert trying to get small kids into his car. Some pervert lurking small children!
And my daughter who is 5, was all alone outside scared, trying to look for a coat that wasn't even there!
I'm so upset!
So what would you do in my case?
Does anyone know the laws about a situation like this? Can I get DHS involved or something done?
What if my daughter was taken away by some pervert or what if she was hit by a car?
What if I didn't have my daughter with my today because of a mistake they made?
Come on now… something has to be done… how could something like this happen? Why wasn't an adult with her and why in gods name was she even outside the school?
What would you do as a parent?
5 people like this
16 responses
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I am appalled that this has happened. I don't blame you for wanting a meeting immediately. I would want one as well. It just astounds me that the school would not even address the issue with you. There is something so phenomenally wrong with that. I would even have the school superintendent involved and apprised of the situation because the principal didn't follow up with you and let you know that this had happened and disciplined the teacher on their own without having you have to go through all of this! Thank God your daughter is ok and nothing happened to her! I am glad that you are on top of this, but seriously I would go to the Superintendent of the school as well and make a big stink over this. I have a strong feeling this has happened before and your just the first person that has called them on it.
1 person likes this
@darkaeon (465)
• Portugal
2 Nov 07
hi, im sorry that situation happened to you because it is really dangerous your children could have been kidnapped and then it would be a total disaster, what you should do is complain at the school your children is in and talk to get more security in it and if they dont care i think that a good solution is to transfer her to another school,you may loose some money but i think it will be better because all our children safety its more important then anything else in the world.good luck with the situation!
1 person likes this
@beutfulmama6701 (1718)
• United States
2 Nov 07
Wow. that is very scary. i dont know what i would have done in this situatuoin i have had a situation a bit simliar to this happen last year as well when my daughter was alos 5 in kindergarten. i was at the bustop at the end of the driveway waitng for her to get home off the bus. there are 5 other kids that get off at that stop with my daughter on a daily basis and coinecendlty none of them were on the bus that day, so i waited at the mailbox saw the bus coming and get ready to greet my little princess... Well the bus drove right by me! the bus driver looked right at me and continued to go! i sat there for a mintue saying okay maybe she saw me but didnt acknowledge the fact. Then i thought ok maybe she was doing a different route, well about a half hour goes by and coming from the opposite direction my daughters old bus driver stops the bus and asks "gabby didnt get off the bus?" i said no she drove right on by! so she radioed the bus station andt he bus driver told her that my daughter was never even on the bus! So here i am 4 months pregnant, nervous wreck no phone freaking out. The bus driver ( the one i know) said go home ill get my car and we will find her! so i run to my neighbors house and use the phone to call the school i wsa told that my daughter never showed up for school this morning that she was absent... NO!!! she was in the afternoon kindergarten class and I personally dropped her off to her class EVERYDAY!! so i KNOW she was there. so i began freaking out even more and crying. i get off the phone ( an hour has gone by from the time she was supposed to be on the bus) i look up the drive and see my mothers car i run to her, well she came by to tell me that my daughter was now at her house that she got off at someone elses stop and they brought her there!! the thing is the stop she got off was AFTER our house stop!!! i was upset to know thy just drove by, more upset that they had no record ofher being at school and even more furious that they let her off at some random stop!!!!
1 person likes this
@BinKsBaBy (505)
• United States
2 Nov 07
This scares the crap out of me, my daughter is also 5 and in Kindergarden and I have been worried about her walking from her class to the office alone because she is the only one in her class that takes the bus home, and she has to walk from her class room to the office where the 1 other girl who takes the bus and my daughter get walked out to the front of the school when the bus gets there. But even the walk from her classroom to the office scares me personally. I cant even imagine what I would do if I were in your shoes. I am a classroom mom and so I help out in my daughters class, and the 1 MAIN rule we are always to fallow is never to let any of the kids leave the lunch room without all of us or if they have an emergency 1 classroom aid needs to escort that child to the office BUT also let the other aid know we are leaving and that goes for the playground and library too. There's a bathroom in the cafiteria and bathrooms right by the playground and 1 aid usually stands at the end of the hall where the bathrooms are at all times just because that hall can go straight out to the front of the school, only time we leave that hall un maned is if something happens that calls for immediate help, a kid falling or a fight which we have not had any of yet thank goodness. Those rules were given to us by the school board. They said no kindergardener is suppost to be un supervised EVER! thats here in california I would check with the school district, because as easy as your neighbor got out of their car and walked up and helped your daughter a pervert could have walked up and helped them self to your daughter! Sorry not to be rude but that could have just as easily been the case. I thank god that it was your neighbor! I dont blame you from keeping her home after this! I would have to I dont know what the law is but I am pretty sure that theres something about kindergardeners not being left un supervised. Good Luck! Keep us posted please.
@Foxxee (3651)
• United States
2 Nov 07
You know about 2 months ago my daughter came home and told me that she was on a bus and I was like why?
My daughter gets picked up by a family friend every day and then they bring her home to me and she has never had to take a school bus. I later figure out that the SUB put her on the bus thinking she was a bus kid. But they caught it in time, so they say, but my daughter actually told me she went to daycare, but the school told me that didn't happen. I have always been a little off with that. I felt I was lied to. But this time they can't lie because someone actually saw my daughter out and about and even took her in and the office looked puzzled. And they didn't call me to tell me, because what are the chances that the person bringing her in was a neighbor. So they are busted.
As for the walking to the office part and stuff, I had panic attacks when I found out this teacher does at times sends students to the office. She says kindergarten is about learning responsibilty and she also stated she didn't want parents walking the students to class in the mornings. We are suppose to drop them off outside and watch them walk through the doors and then the office is suppose to make sure the child gets to class from there. It took me time to get use to that. I would always sit there until I knew for sure she wouldn't come back out.
But now, I am so upset. I felt I was let down. This is my baby girl and I could of lost her thanks to a mistake they made of carelessness!
@Foxxee (3651)
• United States
4 Nov 07
Well, we had a meeting with the school princaple, but the teacher wasn't there.
All I heard during the meeting was that the school is going to fix the problem and that it was being taken care of.
They wouldn't tell me what was going to happen because of the privacy of the teacher.. whatever..
The school also told me over and over that the teacher is an excellent teacher and so on.
Like I care if she is a good teacher, the fact is, she almost lost my child and that isn't a small mistake!
The DHS worker I have been talking with wasn't at the meeting and she also didn't want me to say anything to the school just yet, she wants to see what they plan to do.
So next week, if the teacher is still there, the DHS lady is going to go to the school and make it aware that she knows about the child that was found outside school grounds and is going to investigate the school. She also told me that the teacher should be suspended for a week out of respect for me and my daughter. But we will see.
So come Monday, I will give you another update!
I'm so hoping she is out for a week, she just can't get away with a mistake like this. I worked with kids before I had my daughter and this is grounds to be fired.
We will see, she might be a good teacher, but she needs to remember that these kids need more supervision and her and her aid need to wake up.
I also got an email from the teacher, she said sorry in a EMAIL! She didn't call me or some see me yet! I feel so worthless.. She should at least call!
And in the email, at the end she still blamed my daughter and said she knew better... and this is the same teacher that told me my daughter might have ADHD and might need to be tested. Why if she thought that would she send her outside alone?
@BinKsBaBy (505)
• United States
2 Nov 07
I cant beleive that! Not even wanting the parents to walk them in! my daughter started at a different kindergarden and unfourtunetly got sent to a different one. At the old school the morning was my time to check in with the teacher and see how she was doing any problems and if he needed any help with any class activitys. Now that my daughters at the new school I dont take her to school too much so I dont get to do that, (I still help in the class about 1 time a week) But when I do take my daughter we are suppost to wait until the teacher opens the classroom. Also make sure that my daughter marks the lunch chart which lets the aids know who brought their lunch and who is buying and which of the lunch options they are buying. I worried about my daughter doing that alone but she has got it down. I understand kindergarden is about growning up but not becoming a GROWN UP! and thats a big difference I think that ALL of those involved in what happend with your daughter should be held responsible for what could have happen, it should not take something HORRIBLE happening for actions to happen. Then topping it off with when your daughter said she was sent on the bus ( I know sometimes my 5 year old tells me stories that arn't true but not when it comes to stuff like that, plus the school said it did happen but the bus didnt leave sounds to me like a cover up!) I would defenitly look into what the laws are and making sure that all the adults in charge be at the very least made to go thru some re training to help remind them of how things need to be handled. And for the teacher I think the consiquences should be much harsher! It wouldnt be overlooked if a child were hurt or missing, so why sohuld it be allowed to be overlooked if a child was put into a situation to get hurt or taken. Good Luck Hun and please keep me posted!
@dreamy1 (3811)
• United States
2 Nov 07
What laws were broken? You requested a meeting I think that is all you can do just let the school know the situation and that they should not send a child that young out by themselves. They should be aware that they are responsible for the safety of your child while she is in their care. Yes anything could have happened and they would probably responsible thank God nothing happened to your child and she is ok but calling DHS would do what? Remind your child about being safe and that she should always have someone with her and never go any where by herself.
@Foxxee (3651)
• United States
2 Nov 07
What laws were broken? Well, first off I talked with someone tonight about all this and she knows the system and is a case worker and has told me that by law no child at her age or any child under the age 11 can't be outside without an adult and since my daughter was in the schools care, there are a lot of things that will take place. DHS is going to be involved because the safety of a child was in danger and the teacher will be warned if not let go. We have a meeting tomorrow and a DHS worker will be with me and my husband to state our case.
So something was wrong and the case worker that I talked with strongly agrees with me and has even seen this happen before and teachers need to realize it's no joke.
If a parent can get in serious trouble for having their child outside alone without an adult, so can the teacher that has her in care at that time.
From what I was told is she will also have to take classes of they decide to just put her on a short leave.
@BinKsBaBy (505)
• United States
2 Nov 07
im sorry but i would much rather have my daughter loose her coat then loose my daughter! PERIOD!
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
2 Nov 07
You are so right Foxxee I would call whoever i could,your child was in a dangerous situation..I don't care if you have to call the President.I would make darn sure they hear from me...
@visitorinvasion (7709)
• United States
3 Nov 07
What I would do and have done is yank my kid outta that school so fast their heads would spin & homeschool until I could afford to move to another school district.
Good luck with that. I totally sympathize.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
2 Nov 07
I would be so mad about this i would run not walk down to that school and go directly to the principles office and complain BIG TIME...Then i would go to that classroom and tell that teacher to NEVER let your child go outside without some grownup with her...You are so lucky that your neighbor just happened to be passing by and took her into the office...Your poor baby would have just stood there looking trying to find her coat,and some pervert could have came up and snatched her...I use to be a teachers assitant and you are NOT suppose to let a child ,especially a young child like yours out side of the school without the supervision of an adult...I would not care if i found out 2 days or 2 weeks later ,i would still make an appearance at that school,can you just imagine what could have happened to your baby,and kindergardeners are really still babies...Oh that just makes me so angry!!!
@paulsy (1263)
• Philippines
2 Nov 07
I know how you feel! If I were in your shoes, I would pursue that complaint against the school. I would complain about that particular teacher who sent your daughter out to look for her coat. The school is totally responsible for your daughter the minute she steps into their building. They accepted that responsibility when they admitted her into their school. Therefore, it is their duty to ensure the safety of every child in that school. They owe you an apology and an assurance that your child will be safe at all times in their care. And, I strongly believe that irresponsible teacher should be fired! I'm sorry for thinking this way, but if it were my daughter, I wouldn't take this lying down.
@Foxxee (3651)
• United States
2 Nov 07
She might very well be let go. I'm not sure what will happen.
I know a DHS Case Worker and I got a hold of her today and she came over to my house even though it was late and we sat down and I signed papers and she made a few phone calls. We are all going to the school in the morning to find out what happened and DHS will be investigating the whole school, more so the teacher.
I was told many things could happen. She might only be forced to take a short leave or she can be let go for good. But it will be on her record.
I will let everyone know how it works out.
@nixtickleme (349)
• United States
2 Nov 07
That sounds crazy. I think you are handling the situation the best way that you can. Have the meeting and see what they say. But in no way was it responsible on their part to allow your daughter to be outside by herself. In this day in age, matter of fact in any day and age children need to be watched over. There are far too many individuals out there that prey on children and it is very disheartening to know that teachers or school officials aren't taking the safety of their students into concern when making such decisions like that. Best of luck and hope you are able to resolve the problem.
@xxkennzixx (35)
•
2 Nov 07
I think you are quite rite to be angry and upset about this situation if i was you i would not only speak to the school but i would speak to local councillors as well this should not have happened no happen again if you do not get the reaction from school that you would want and expect i would consider speaking to your local paper as that would bring awareness to the danger that your child and other children may have been placed in when it could have been avoided
@Countrymom (371)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I would have kept my daughter home too. I would definitely have a meeting and really let them know where I am coming from. This is not like things were 30 years ago! I remember getting lost in my school in 1st grade and I was terrified that I would be lost there forever! Not only is it frightening to the child, but its also putting the child in danger. The school should be monitoring doors that go outside somehow or someway. Especially with some pervert running around right near the school. In that case extra safety precautions should be taken. Were the other kids in the classroom? If so why did the teacher not miss your child? Where were the play ground monitors? Why did the school not call you? That is very wrong of the school! I would be considering legal action! The school should have notified you immediately! Thank God the neighbor was a good citizen...though had I been the neighbor I would have called you from the school and had you come down and walk in with your daughter!! I would be livid! If they sent her to look for her coat she should have had a teachers aide or someone like that with her! What is wrong with these people!
@chrystal2277 (23)
• United States
2 Nov 07
My gosh, this is one of the scariest topics out there. I think you are doing the right thing, and don't let anyone tell you any different. Our children are our lives and we have to trust the schools, teachers, ect. to keep them safe. In this case, someone failed and that needs rectified. Sure, everyone makes mistakes, but when your job involves children(as mine does) their safety should be the number 1 priority. Good luck and definately let us know the outcome.
@Ladygothyka (6)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Get DHS involved for sure. I would be there cussing them out for sure if that had been my kid. I have a 4 and 5 year old so I know exactly how you feel. My daughter would be the brave one to go out there where she can get hurt by traffic just to do as she was told. I would be serisouly thinking of homeschooling and to tell the other parents to make sure to let their kids know what is safe and not safe when the teachers say things. Just because they are told by ther teacher to do soemthing they feel is not right dosent mean they should do it. Your daughter did as she was told and obviously didnt like it one bit. She was scared to use her own common sence becasue she was being "a good little girl" and doing as she was told by the teacher. The teacher should have more common sence.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
2 Nov 07
I would be irrate!!! The neighbor should have stopped and picked up your child, after calling you, and you should have made a beline for the school, demanding to know where she is, and checking to see if anyone was even looking for her. My son was left on the school bus, and the driver went home when he was in 1st grade. He cannot walk, and cannot talk. I was really raising cain. That is so irresponsible and I can relate. I hope they do something to make sure that never happens in school again. Let us know how it comes out.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
2 Nov 07
I'm not sure about the laws. But my son's teacher sends me all over the school for some reason or the other (even when he was younger). But there are guards by the main entrance to the school building and the main gate too. So, he isn't allowed anywhere outside the school.
But what happened to your daughter was dangerous. Like you said..what if anything untoward happened (God forbid!). I think at school, the teachers are responsible for our kids' safety. I agree that the teacher can't watch all the time and they are bound to hurt themselves while playing or in the class...but sending them out alone (especially a 5 year old...how was she to find a coat without knowing where to look for it?)where they can wander off alone is not the done thing and you are right in not sending her back to school and asking for a meeting to question them! You are so lucky your neighbour was driving by at that moment!
