Nothing to drink after six.

United States
November 2, 2007 8:09am CST
My son used to have a betwetting problem. He is six years old. I remedied it by not allowing him anything to drink after 6pm. This stopped the bedwetting, but arose a new problem that I don't quite understand. First, instead of getting up to go to the bathroom, he will lay there and groan until I make him get up. The second, and the one that puzzles me the most, is that I cut him off at 6p, I make him go to the bathroom before he goes to bed at 9p; how is it that he still needs to go to the bathroom at least twice during the night with a full bladder?!? That one is definately beyond me, and it interupts my sleep every night because again, I am the one who has to wake him up to go. So MyLot, this raises two questions I hope you can answer: (1) How do I get my son in the habit of waking himself up instead of groaning about it? And (2) How is it that he has to pee so much during the night? (By the way, I have already had him checked for diabetes because of this and his immense desire for water. He is fine in that aspect)
2 people like this
9 responses
• United States
2 Nov 07
Yeah, I think that is difficult. I have never had to deal with this experience. However, what I would suggest is that you get one of those portable potties. You know the type they have in hospitals that can sit by the bedside. And just instruct him that when he needs to go to the bathroom at night he can just get up out of bed and go to the potty right next to his bed and then get back in bed. And I think what you will have to try to do is just leave him there. If he starts moaning and groaning just let him stay there. He will need to learn that on his own he needs to get up. When he feels like he needs to go he needs to go. As a side note though, I think you should have him psychological tested as well. It sounds like there is something else going on with him. Bedwetters generally have something else psychologically going on that we don't know about or understand. Best of luck!
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Nov 07
That would be a good idea, except that the real bathroom is only a couple of steps from the bed itself, so I don't believe the distance is the problem. I have also tried leaving him there, but he will just groan and groan, he never gets up. Now that I have gotten my body in tune with the groaning, now I cannot sleep through it! So I'm really getting him up so I can go back to sleep. I do wait a while though to see if he will get up on his own.
@Dask1221 (160)
• United States
2 Nov 07
I understand the groaning is keeping you from staying asleep at night, but I agree with her. Even if you have to just lay there and listen to it, leave him alone at night to groan all he wants. Eventually he will learn that he needs to get up on his own to relieve himself if he wants to stop the discomfort of having to pee. Either that or he'll just lay there and groan all night until it's time to get up, which'll make him tired and somewhat cranky the next day, but it'll sink in eventually. He may be using the groaning as an excuse now that he's used to seeing you a couple times a night and he knows you'll get him up. Don't let him rely on you for that. Even if he wets the bed, let him sleep in it overnight, be uncomfortable, and just wash his sheets the next day (put a wetblock liner under his sheets to protect his bed). We have a similar problem with our son from my husband's first marriage. He just recently turned 6, and like your son, even though we cut off his drinking at a certain time and make him use the bathroom before bed (and we even have to make him wear a pull-up, which is sad at his age), he either refuses to get up at night to go or his body isn't sending a signal to make him wake up when he has to go, but he wets through the pull-up every time. I don't understand how his bladder is that full either. We had to buy a wetblock liner for him to sleep on, seeing as we had him sleeping on a daybed mattress during visits and he had peed through so many times that even steam cleaning the mattress and using lysol and febreeze wasn't working. If you end up finding a solution that works, please let me know. I'd love to try it with my step-son. Good luck!
2 people like this
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I agree with just letting him be. At least try it for a few weeks. If you have to, sleep in a room further away, use a monitor and turn it down.. so that you don't have to listen to him groaning. He may, very well be waking up because he's accustomed to it. I would make him responsible for any wetness that happens in the middle of the night. If he pees on himself, he can clean it up.. he can bring all the clothes to the washer, and help put new sheets on his bed. He'll be tired when he wakes up.. but he'll learn eventually that it is his respsonibility. If you wake him up, and bring him. you are essentially telling him that he's not responsible for it.. so if you want him to take responsibility, you can't take it back. JUst allow him to have an accident, it's really the worst that can happen. I suggest you try it for a few weeks and see if it helps. Your not really getting good rest anyways, and what you are doing isn't working and isn't a good solution for the long run. Good luck!
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 07
There are some medical conditions that children actually wet the bed till they are in their teens. The way the medical profession (I worked with some foster kids on this issue) recommend you work on it is as follows: 1. Limit fluid intake after 4 pm (6 is fine) 2.set an alarm clock for the child approximately half way through the night (4 or 5 hours into the night is average) If its really bad use 2 clocks and go for 2 or 3 hour intervals. 3. Make the child get up to turn off the alarm (you stay in bed this is the child needing to learn to be responsible) 4. If the child does have an accident the child has to learn to take care of it...i.e. change the bedding and his/her clothes and bathe him/herself. 5. the child learns to do his/her laundry. (the next day is fine) All of these work together to teach the child responsibility and how to make them learn to wake up. No one likes to change linens, clothes and then do the laundry at that age but if they do it often enough it becomes more important to get up and turn off the alarm. The groaning is the sign that the child is receiving the message but doesn't want to wake up. With the alarm (I would set it for a few minutes before the groans start if there is a pattern there) the child will have to get up to shut off the alarm. If necessary, put the alarm across the room or some such place where they HAVE to get out of bed to shut it off. While they are up they may as well go to the bathroom! LOL Make sure its a LOUD alarm. I used the old fashioned bell type on my foster sons. In the interim, don't punish, they have a small bladder and a brain chemical that is adjusting (per the dr's I counseled with) and it does more harm than good. You may consider seeing a dr. There is also a medication if its really really bad that the dr can give.
1 person likes this
@rimsha (806)
• Pakistan
3 Nov 07
It is not bad habbit.
1 person likes this
@Kowgirl (3490)
• United States
2 Nov 07
6 years is still young and their bladder is still small. It could be what he drinks during the day that is causing this like sodas or milk, but I would bet it is fear that is making him stay in the bed waiting for you to come to drive the fear away. Try leaving the light on in the bathroom and a night light in his room, that might help. If he has to enter a dark hallway to get to the bathroom then another light may be needed there. Talk to him to see if he is afraid of the dark. Most kids at that age don't want to admit it but most are afraid to get up and walk in the dark.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Nov 07
Thanks for your help, but I don't think this is the problem. He only gets juices and milk at school, usually after school he only gets water until 6p. Also the bathroom is set into the room where he sleeps, and there is a nightlight in there all of the time, so that makes it dim in the room, but not completely dark. Also, he is always eager to go play. He plays in this same room, and he must enter the room in order to turn on the big light to play.
@azimsay (543)
• India
3 Nov 07
yes if any problem is there you totake care of children.But if he or she will be hungry then give him as he like.
1 person likes this
@clclbby (32)
• China
3 Nov 07
lucky , your son is not a Sick person, let him pee when he want.The most important is let your son happy everynight. Don't try to Blame your son. Maybe after a few month, you will found that the problem is Vanished. Good luck. Hope you and your son happy everyday~!
@Aussies2007 (5336)
• Australia
3 Nov 07
Perhaps he drinks too much because he is eating things which make him thirsty. Or he has a small bladder. As to make him get up... I am not politically correct... so I would hurt him everytime he groans instead of getting up. Just pinching is ear or his leg would do it. laugh. Until he does not want to get hurt anymore... and get up by himself. The next trick he will play on you is to jump out of bed as soon as you get up... so as not to get pinch. You know the solution to that.
1 person likes this
@dreamy1 (3811)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I used to wet the bed when I was young. During the time I wet the bed my parents were getting separated. I wet the bed before and after this period anyway so I can't exactly say it was because of a disturbance in my life that caused it. But at the same time I think you should look at his daily routine and see if anything has changed drastically in his life. I've always been a good sleeper. I can sleep through anything so I certainly was not aware of doing it. Besides waking him up every few hours how about making him responsible for washing his sheets and clothes and cleaning up after he does it. Maybe he will not like cleaning up so this might prompt him to want start waking up by himself to avoid that chore.
1 person likes this
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
3 Nov 07
My sister tried this with my nephew when he was 7. She bought him an alarm clock and set it for 3 hours after his bed time. He'd get up ...go and that was it. The difficulty was turning off the alarm, but the bed was dry
1 person likes this