Qualities of your spouse/partner

@SViswan (12051)
India
November 3, 2007 1:25am CST
Everyone wants to know or discuss the bad qualities that your spouse/partner has and we have a lot of cribbing on that front. What are the good qualities of your spouse/partner? Have you appreciated them for it and told them? I've seen people who praise their spouse to others and not give their spouse/partner an inkling of their appreciation..they are quite vocal though about what they don't like. So, which category do you fall under? Do you say 'I love you' and let it go at that or do you tell them why you love them?
8 people like this
23 responses
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I am the type that let's my wife know how much and why I love her. I've even started some discussions here praising her for many of her great qualities. The first and foremost quality that is her strongest point is she is a very hard working woman. She is strong as well. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
3 Nov 07
I'm glad you appreciate your wife. I myself sometimes forgt to tell my husband about his good qualities but I always mention them when I am with friends. Yesterday, I realized I was doing it again (especially after an argument when I realized that I all I tell him nowadays is what I don't like) I stopped myself right then and told him how much I loved him and why. And I was wondering if there were more people like me in this world!
2 people like this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
3 Nov 07
what a lovely response. I think it is important that we let the one we love know how we feel as often as possible
1 person likes this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Esk I thank you very much. My wife loves hearing them as well. Hee hee!! HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
5 Nov 07
An excellent discussion! You are quite right everyone has got his/her plus and minus points. No one is perfect. Even I would have got many nagative points, which I cannot visualise myself, rather I would not like to see those points from a rational angle or open mind. It is my spouse, who tells me or say point out to me my negative points, and wherever possible, I try to improve upon those points. My spouse is very caring and she is very good cook and she has a very good imagination power. She would serve me sumputuous meal and try to prepare new dishes, whenever possible. She would see to it that I should get some new and tredy clothes and woollens, so I should look smarter. I on my part, always tell her, her positive points and do not miss any opportunity to appreciate her positive gestures. I believe in expressing my appreciation to her, so that she could know that she is 'SPECIAL'to me. Have a great day! Deepak
@SViswan (12051)
• India
5 Nov 07
Good to hear that you appreciate your wife. We all need to hear it sometimes. Not evry husband (especially an Indian one) takes too nicely to a wife pointing out his bad qualities (even if she appreciates his good qualities)
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
5 Nov 07
You are right. No body likes to hear about his/her negative qualities....LOL! (including me). I make it a point to appreciate my spouse, as much as possible, so as to make her feel happy and elated. I agree with you that people are not very liberal in appreciating others. Have a nice day! Deepak
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
6 Nov 07
I feel, manifestation of love is very important in life. Time is short and we should live it to the fullest and what could be more appropriate than giving and showing your feelings for the ppl you care about. Gone are those days when we used to be behind curtains and strived hard between 'dos' and 'donots' in life! Dear, since partner/ spouse is not applicable in my case, I would tell about the ppl I care about. Yes, I do make them feel better by telling them lovewords and doing gestures, even though I am a very shy person. And, ofcourse, like all I justlove the pampering I get from them. Thanks for a nice post.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
6 Nov 07
You are welcome. I posted the discussion when I realized that I hadn't appreciated my husband in quite a while (neither has he appreciated me). I'm glad that you appreciate your loved ones. Hope you continue doing it. Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
22 Nov 07
lol...my kids always get it...it's the husband that doesn't. I've been out of touch that I am having some starting trouble. But I will surely make the effort to remember and do it.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
6 Nov 07
You know what, a simple word of appreciation, a little smile and ofcourse the sweet cliched words like LOVE YOU work wonders for any relationship. Do it today sweetie, don't just let go, time is short and we never know what's going to befall us!! So, promise me you will pamper your husband and child with love words ans see the miracle!! Love and huggles.
1 person likes this
@marty3888 (2355)
• Acme, Michigan
3 Nov 07
For the most part, I must admit I just say I love you to my girlfriend, although at times we've discussed why we're perfect for each other. My main gripe is we're living together and she dosn't want to become my spouse. I've never been married,never had a wedding and Iwould like one. But as I just said on a previous discussion about looks, I would not want anyone else. And I have told her that.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 07
My husband and I have been through some pretty tough times, but I must say that through it all, he's been able to stay positive. I admire his ability to wake up everyday and thank God for his 4 healthy beautiful kids, and know that another day has begun to make things right. He never gives up and keeps the rest of us smiling. He's a hard-worker and loves his family very much. I love the old lug. :)
@SViswan (12051)
• India
5 Nov 07
summer, have you told him that?
@SViswan (12051)
• India
5 Nov 07
Marty, have you asked her why she doesn't want to commit when you are perfect for each other?
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I always tell him why! Because he is cute, smart, and MINE! But mostly because he is smart. I also thank him when he washes the floor, vacuums, and does the laundry. He compliments me quite a bit, too. That is yet another nice thing about him.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
3 Nov 07
Great!That's how it is supposed to be. I've got so busy with the kids and household chores that I realized yesterday that I haven't appreciated him in a while (he hasn't done it to me either...maybe that's why I forgot..lol)
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
My wife doesn't thank me for the household chores as I stay home and she is the bread winner. I thank her for her hard work making ends meet though. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
3 Nov 07
We did that for a while, Bob, and I think it is good training for both partners, although it is nice to get thanked for expected contributions, too, as well as the ones that go above and beyond. For better or worse, though, sometimes bringing in that paycheck has to be a priority, alas.
• Philippines
5 Nov 07
My boyfriend is a very sweet and generous guy, and that's what I really love about him. He puts me first before himself, and he tells me that what he really wants is for me to be happy. And I do tell him that I appreciate all the things that he does for me. I tell him I love him everyday and let it go at that, but sometimes I let him know why he's so special to me.
@balasri (26537)
• India
3 Nov 07
I always become very verbal and physical in showing my appreciation.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
4 Nov 07
Thank you very much for your appreciation.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
3 Nov 07
That's good. It makes a lot of difference when the appreciation is shown and told.
@lifeis2good (1183)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Oh you bet I say I love you as well as tell how much I appreciate all that he does for not only me but for our boys as well as other friends and family members as well!!! He's the most dedicated employee that I have ever met - he goes way above and beyond his responsibilities at work - including when one of his bosses was diagnosed with cancer - he would leave the office and take whatever this person needed - whether it was work or pick up medication or whatever - he was always there!!! He's the kind of guy that even if you have made him mad as a friend - he won't tell you and when you get stuck and need a hand - he will be there for you always!!! And as for dealing with me - you have to give him props - it's never easy being married to someone with mental illness and all that goes along with that mess!!!
• United States
5 Nov 07
That is great to hear that you are trying to make an effort to change!!! You will be so surprised at how wonderful you make him feel when you tell him nice things!!! Their faces really light up!!!!!
@SViswan (12051)
• India
5 Nov 07
Sounds like you have a wonderful husband who's lucky to have a wife who tells him so:) I'm very bad on tht front:( I forget to tell him when he does something nice and am the first to point out something that he does which irritates me:( I am making an effort to change:)
1 person likes this
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
3 Nov 07
there is only one excellent quality about my spouse and that is , he is currently living with another poor woman, I feel sorry for her but he is now her problem, and no not once in the 27 years we were married did he praise me for anything,I was there for his use and abuse mentality only.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
5 Nov 07
Oh...I'm so sorry! But I'm sure there's someone out there who is right for you..anyways, you are better off without having a partner who is there only to use and abuse you.
• Nigeria
4 Nov 07
Relationships are to be ENJOYED rather ENDURED.The more we focus on negative qualities of our partners,the more we break the love bond.I believe that no person on the earth is totally perpect,hence if the manneer we nagg over the bad qualities of our partner is done to us definitely we would not like that.why partners make remembering those nasty qualities is simply because in our hearts we find it hard to forgive because those things have taking the place of LOVE.Forgiveness those not change the past but it certainly brightens&expands the future.celebrate your partner and you will discover how relevant& efficient he/she is to you.correct in love.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
5 Nov 07
You are right. I guess I stopped appreciating my husband when he started putting me down quite a bit. We have had a talk about it too (since I posted this discussion). I understand what's happened but he still doesn't want to. I think it takes two to make a relationship work and efforts from one partner alone will not work.
• United States
3 Nov 07
Hi SViswan, We are always telling one another why we love eachother. Not just that we do. I thank him on a daily basis, he takes really good care of me. He thanks me for many things too, such as doing the laundry or cooking. Things I should be doing anyway, I stay at home. He cooks and cleans and I thank him for that. I thank him for working hard, cos he has a pretty strenuous job. We are pretty affectionate, and I love it! I think its important and its what keeps us so close and in love. Appreciation is better than love to me, or should I say its the bigger part of love. Because Love means many things to me. Bay xx
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
5 Nov 07
Love means many things to me too. But I really don'e look for the appreciation but if you put me down, then I don't like it. Quietly appreciating without being verbal is fine by me because I just do what I have to do and because I like doing it. But when someone (especially my spouse) starts putting me down and pointing out only my bad qualities, then I start resenting them and forget all the good qualities I have.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Nov 07
Hi SViswan, I understand what you mean about doing it because it makes you feel good and you like doing it. I dont look for it or expect if from him, and he doesnt me. Its just natural. And your right, you cant continue with it if your being put down. I wouldnt be able to show much of anything toward that person before long. Thank you for BR!! Bay xx
@IssaHam (73)
• United States
3 Nov 07
My husband and I have a wonderful relationship in the way we tell each other we love one another. He tells me he loves me with little things like always bringing me home a mountain dew, and I do the same for him in my own different ways. The qualities that I love about my husband: his intelligence, integrity, humor, long beautiful hair, and the balance he brings me! Thank you for this discussion!
@SViswan (12051)
• India
3 Nov 07
Do you always tell him WHY you love him? have you told him that you love the fact that he is intelligent, humorous and that he brings the balance in you? Most of us have our little ways of saying 'I Love you' and I care but most people (atleast that's what I think) are not verbal about it.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
3 Nov 07
Yes, it means so much more when done from time to time:)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I wouldn't say that I tell him WHY every time, but sometimes I'll say "I love you" and his response will be "why do you love me?" and I'll tell him. I do the same thing to him sometimes. But I do give him specifics sometimes and I remind him why I fell in love with him and why I still love him to this day.
@star011 (24)
• United States
3 Nov 07
It's a nice discussion u have started.In my case I am never good at communicating my feelings verbally.I do try to show my affection and appreciation through my actions.I am too shy to put them in to words I guess.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
5 Nov 07
Thanks! But hearing the appreciation once in a while makes a difference to the one who hears it. Small actions will be appreciated but can be overlooked too.
@kdgord (4)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I am one that tells my husband that I love him and why. I thank him all the time for everything he does for me. I am a SAHM to 2 young boys and my husband works full-time. When he gets home from work he does the laundry and feeds the dog. He also helps me with dishes and dinner if I need it and also watches the boys for a bit to give me a break. I let him know all the time how much it means to me that he helps me like that. He truly is a wonderful man.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
5 Nov 07
It's great to know that you appreciate your husband's efforts:) My husband doesn't lift a finger to help me with the home and cribs if I ask him for a favour..lol..there I go again with one of his bad qualities. But he's very good with the kids and I love that about him.
• Kuwait
3 Nov 07
I love my husbands habbit of always calling me and checking what i want and need and if am okay even im really okay and having fun. He also love to have fun jokes with me and play baby between me and him.
• Kuwait
5 Nov 07
Yes, i believe once because too im too shy to tell him repeatedly. I will just smile...and love him back.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12051)
• India
5 Nov 07
Have you ever told him that this is what you like in him?
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
22 Nov 09
Yeah, I see your point there. It's easier to point out the bad in a person than a good thing about him or her. I personally don't say anything if I know it isn't nice about another person. I keep those opinions to myself. However, the best quality my husband posses would be his brain. He is the most brilliant man I know and he does have different ideas that not a lot of people have thought of yet. So, that's something to brag about, I suppose. LOL.
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
28 Mar 10
It would probably depend on what that quality is and if it does affect me to the point that it isn't good for my health, then I would definitely say something about it. Something has to change and there would be no need for anyone to suffer if there is something that could be done about it.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
23 Mar 10
It is good that you appreciate the good qualities in your husband. I'm just curious to know if you would be silent even if a bad quality of his affects you.
@noriko (1254)
3 Nov 07
my hubby loves to pamper me, and yes i appreciate him so i pamper him as well. i always say i love him and tell him how important he is to me.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
3 Nov 07
Having had some very bad past experiences makes it very easy to notice and appreciate good qualitys in not only my boyfriend but all people in my life. I try to frequently show and let them all know how much I value them. It is so important lest they feel taken for granted and go away.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Nov 07
My husband is: hard working-he just came off a 12 hour overtime shift tonight-he works for a major airline as a mechanic. He is also romantic-much more so than I am. He remembers specific things I wore years ago to specific events. He is very loving.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
5 Nov 07
Have you told him so? Does he know that you like these qualities in him?
@bluekim (12)
• Malaysia
4 Nov 07
If you are really in love, there are no reasons you can give as to why you love your other half. However, I would tell my boyfriend how much he meant to me at times he least expected. Whether it's a kiss on the cheek followed by "I love you" in the morning before he leaves the house or a bouquet of roses on his desk at work, a show of appreciation doesn't hurt. Every little action counts! Communication is important, so it's good to voice out your dislikes or something that he has done to annoy you. I always have a hard time to voice out right then, so I'll keep quiet at that moment (so I won't lash out at him) then tell him what I felt later on.