The Sad Departure Of Friends: What Happened To Them?
By pyewacket
@pyewacket (43903)
United States
November 3, 2007 3:50am CST
I was just going through my friends list. Haven't done that in awhile. Now there are many of my friends whom I respond to their discussions and they vice versa. But then I get that nagging feeling and wonder about people whom I have formally seen here, or been active and then have disappeared it seems. So that's why my little scan of all my friends on my friend listing. And I was SHOCKED to learn just how many have been AWOL. And not just for a few days, or weeks, but MONTHS. Like what happened to them. One friend on my list had an accident and died, yet I refuse to omit/delete his name as a memory to him here. Another one of my friends was one I had made a few discussions about as he seemed way beyond depression and suicidal. In fact one of his discussions was clearly pointing in that direction. I had the person's private e-mail and wasn't just PMing him here. But my very last email from him was in July despite my constant private emails to him. So God only knows what happened to him and if he did in fact commit suicide. I'll never know.
But then I look at all my other friends on my list who have also been gone for months. Yes some may have been banned, but only some. As for the rest??? What the hell happened to them?
I never like the idea of deleting ANYONE on my list, thinking, me being the cockeyed optimist that maybe one day they will show up. And fortunately this was the case with one friend who had been missing in action here for months then showed up again, so you can imagine my thrill in seeing this person again.
But what do you do? If you go through your friends list, do you delete the people who haven't been here for a long, long time? Or are you like me? Keep them on "just in case" and especially those who at one time you felt a real connection to? Like I said, I've kept my friends on even when I haven't heard from them again in a long time..even the ones who have "departed" from this physical realm as a memory to them.
22 people like this
28 responses
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
3 Nov 07
Well a lot of my friends that first joined when I did have gone to and I know they won't be back
I guess as the Site got worse the good Members decided that it was not worth staying anymore
You know the reason why I am still popping in and out but if it was not for that I do not think I would waste my time anymore
5 people like this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
3 Nov 07
good to see you around gabs, i only now come to read friends stuff, i dont post much anymore, too many snipers out there for that
blessed be
5 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
3 Nov 07
Yes I noticed that EsKaren and I have been missing you but I am not here that much anymore either I go to another Site which is great and a lot from here are there now
It was hard to build up but it is fun and it just carries on building
Just hope we never loose touch it is so sad though as this Site used to be wonderful
Hugs to you
5 people like this
@3lilangels (4639)
• United States
3 Nov 07
no i haven't deleted any of my friends,i dont have the courage to do that because i feel one day they will start writing or show up.i have a few that havent done anything on here but i always want to give them the chance,maybe they are just busy now so i dont want to delete them.pattie
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
4 Nov 07
I don't like the idea of deleting them either, even if it's been a few months that they've been here
3 people like this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
5 Nov 07
I keep all my friends also , I am sorry for being one of your friends that went missing , I am feeling better every day , just hopes it lasts LOL LOL LOL ...
Sorry about your friend in the accident and I do hope you hear from the other one, pray their alright ...\
Your right about keeping your list cause there may be a day when he/she comes back atleast you`ll know ...
3 people like this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
5 Nov 07
I hope you do even as to ease your mind....
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Nov 07
Yes I'm so happy to see you back keepermykitty.. :) I was concerned and am glad you're feeling a bit better now. Yes, I pray that I do hear from that one person and that he's all right
3 people like this
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I am about the same way with my friends list, I have some that are not here much any more and I never hear anything from the first friend that I ever met here but I still visit his profile and leave him messages at times just so he knows that I have not forgot about him. I keep thinking about going through mine again and maybe delete the ones that have not been here over 6 months and then if they come back and want to be readded then that is fine also. I am sorry to hear about the lost of one of your friends and I would leave his on your friends list also. Big Hugs!
4 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Nov 07
That's nice that you still leave messages for that person. He might surprise you one day and answer your messages--hope so!!
2 people like this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
4 Nov 07
what I do is go through my friend list and if the person hasn't been active in 3 months, I delete them.I do have two friends that I know have left but I don't delete them. I like to remember them and I like their avatars.if there is a friend that I have deleted and they come back, I'll ask to re add them to my list.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Nov 07
I've some on my friends list that have been gone for about 5 or 6 months, but haven't deleted them, just don't have the heart to--sort of silly to say, but I love their avatars too..hehe
3 people like this
@Perspectives (7131)
• Canada
3 Nov 07
I can relate to what you are saying. When I first started here there were always about 20 regulars that always showed up almost immediately upon positing a discussion. Now there are maybe ten. I notice many new people...but yes, not so many of the ones that I became familiar with awhile back.
I haven't thought to be back and check their last log-in the way you did...it is a good idea. Will I delete them...maybe sometime...but not yet. It is not a big deal to leave them in my list...I have a system for staying in touch with regulars to my site...and the rest..oh well!
Interesting discussion...I guess it is something we all have to get used to people and their lifestyles change...and I'm doing my best to adapt to that by asking a few people to exchange alternate e-mail addresses so if I get busy and spend less time here I can at least keep in touch with them.
Anyway, that is a wrap...so long for now,
Raia
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Nov 07
I know this hits home for you too, for that one member who is no longer with us here. I can't tell you how hard that hit me too and still think of her as I'm sure you have. Have you gotten any well, for lack of words, vibes from her?
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
3 Nov 07
think some have been banned and some have just stopped comeing in to mylot . The only ones I delete are ones that I feel is not compatable to me and our discussions would go tno where for I wouldnt know how to answer them.
I have kept several here for I like what they discussed but havent been here for months and months another one got Married And I figure after he get over the honeymoon time wil be back sometime lol
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
4 Nov 07
I remember one MyLotter too that was preparing to get married and she hasn't been back in months either, but I keep hoping she'll turn up again unless her new married life is keeping her real busy
2 people like this
@irisheyes (4370)
• United States
4 Nov 07
Glad you didn't delete me, Pyewacket. I've been gone for several months as it was my busy season (Still is but I have a little spare time now). Today is the first time I've been on Mylot in a few months and I can really relate to this thread. I'm shocked at how many of my friends are gone. You, Gabs and Red Blue.. are the only ones I've found so far that are still active and I'm 3/4 through the friend's list. Maybe, I'm not the only one who has been busy these last couple months. I hope some of the others come back. I was looking forward to spending some winter down time here and it took a long time to get that friend's list together.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Nov 07
Yes, Irisheyes, I have been VERY concerned as yes I did notice you were gone a long time..glad to see you back (((hugs)))
3 people like this
@Katlady2 (9904)
• United States
5 Nov 07
I guess that makes two cockeyed optimists then, because I am the same way. I'll admit, I've deleted a few here and there when I've gone in and done a sweep of my friends list. But for the most part, I've kept everyone on the list in hopes that I will hear from them eventually. Surprisingly enough, a while back I had deleted one friend that I hadn't corresponded or replied to very much, and I just happened to see that friend back on the site again, so I sent a friend request again. Now if only that would happen with the rest of them.....
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Nov 07
I just found two of my friends that have been MIA for months and as you can imagine I'm delighted now as I've seen them back here. So here's to us cockeyed optimists..LOL
2 people like this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
4 Nov 07
some friends I had I think they were banned, but the rest inactive ones I have no idea why. I didn't delete them. but if they deleted me I won't bother asking why either.
I did delete someone or two many months ago, but since then never deletes again. I don't see any reason why I should, yet. being inactive myself, I don't see why inactive members can't stay my friends. as long as they don't attack me or being rude, I'll let them stay in the list.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Nov 07
I keep the inactive ones on my list too, as I sometimes am surprised when someone who has been MIA in a long time suddenly show up.
2 people like this
@someonesmom (5761)
• Canada
4 Nov 07
Hi pyewacket,
I went through my friends list awhile back, and although 'quite a few' appear to have vanished, I didn't have the heart to delete them. I truly miss a lot of them, and hope that one day they'll be back. There are a couple too, that I know of, that have left for specific reasons, which I'm aware of.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Nov 07
Yes, when I go through my friends list and see those who haven't been active in a long time I just can't help wonder what happened to them
2 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Nov 07
I'm glad to hear that many of your friends are still around...wish mine were.. :(
2 people like this
@misheleen73 (6037)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I never delete anyone unless they are clearly a spammer. I think maybe they'll come back for the people I once enjoyed corresponding with, and the others, it just takes too darn long to go through each and every ones profile to determine if they are active or not. It really doesn't bother me to have inactive people on my list, it's not like there's a limit to how many friends we can have... lol.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
10 Nov 07
No I guess there is no limit to the friend we can have :)
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
4 Nov 07
Funny you should mention this at this time, pyewacket, because I was re-doing my profile page last night and happened to think about a friend I had not heard from in over a month. I do not know if they left or what happened. I do go through my list occasionally and have to delete some friends since they have a very low number of posts and have not been heard from for months. If I should ever not show up for a week you will know that I am probably not coming back. I recall the friend you were worried about. I even responded to his post, but after watching out for awhile, I figured he was not coming back one way or the other.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Nov 07
Yes, I have a feeling that one MyLotter I was talking about is never going to come back ..so sad to think what might have happened.
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I know its a very sad thing. I do have to get to my friends and do some cleaning out. I have friends that I havent heard from in many months. Its just so sad to deleate them. Its so final!You wont be loosing me as a friend. Im here to stay!heheheheh
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
4 Nov 07
I'm glad to hear you won't be MIA and plan to stay ((hugs)))
2 people like this
@webeishere (36313)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I as well as many other members are in the same boat in this I think. I've some friends that have been inactive for months and months on end. No word etc. Oh well. I am not doing any deleting soon. Too much work with nearly 350 on my list. HAHAHAHA!!
HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
4 Nov 07
Hehe...I have 418 on my list but I would say almost half or more of them are inactive or MIA, but still won't delete them
2 people like this
@aidonia (4209)
• Greece
3 Nov 07
Hi my friend.I wasn't around too you know the reason....To anyone of us can happen things that keep us away from mylot.I have many friends here without any news from them months but still keep them at my friend list.I delete friends but not because they didn't show up long time but after they ask be my friend and I start response to them never come to me,I never hear even a word from them.Those are out,but the friends that I had contact and for them reason are out I can't delete.I hope that will be back one day,and 2-3 of them they came back.
I just wish that anyone as a respect to those friends that talk with ,thinking before leave let us know .I can understand that can pass away or have very important reasons but I'm sure not all.Just some of them never thought or believe we can find friends on line,friends that thinking and worry about us.
I'm sure you know that you are one of them.....
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
4 Nov 07
At least when you were inactive you made posts to tell what was going on, like first your trip to Egypt then all the computer problems. But some just "vanish" without any word. I'm glad I didn't delete friends though that had been missing for months, since lo and behold they did show up and it was a great feeling to see them again, but yes, I do get concerned and wonder what has happened to so many that haven't been here in ages and hope they are all right.
2 people like this
@blackbriar (9076)
• United States
3 Nov 07
I have gone thru my friend's list and had a very strong feeling about a couple of them never returning here by some of their discussions so I went ahead and deleted them. The rest are there to stay till something happens to them.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Nov 07
Well I certainly plan to stay here...hehe
2 people like this
@susieq223 (3742)
• United States
3 Nov 07
It's been a long time since I have been through my friends list. I think a bunch of them must be gone, because I haven't heard from them in so long. One of these days I will sit down and start going through. I will eliminate those that have been gone for a long time; maybe 6 months. I don't like to have a long list of names who are not active. Then I can move some of my really good, active friends (like you!)up to the front of the list.
3 people like this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Nov 07
ESKARENA is number one on my list, and guess who is number two?..that's right, you! I forget who requested who as a friend, but the two of you were on my friends list when I joined here eight months ago..wow has it been that long??
2 people like this
@sumofalltears (3988)
• United States
5 Nov 07
I seldom delete friends, at least not here. On my regular messenger I do delete those that are inactive so as not to clutter my messenger. Here the friends lists are much longer so I don't know that I would even try to go through the list. I will delete people that give me good reason, such as rudeness or spamming. Most of those on my friends list here are just friends here, I don't have private e mails but for a few. So my friends list here stays in tact for the most part.
2 people like this
@sumofalltears (3988)
• United States
6 Nov 07
It is nice to be back...although it will be a while yet before I am as active here as I used to be.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
5 Nov 07
I'm glad to see you're back. I noticed you were MIA for a long time yourself (((hugs)))
2 people like this
