When you like your friend's GF,What will you do? Posted 2006-07-31 10:21 PM (#1)

@mari123 (1862)
China
November 5, 2007 2:20am CST
I recently begin to have a special feeling about a nice girl I've known her for a long time.But for some reason I cannot control myself to stare at her. We have lessons after scholl togther.I think we just get sarted and some of her behaviers are not too clear.I mean maybe we both are a little nervous.Or it is just my misunderstading.I really like her.A pretty girl with excellent study scoures.I won't abadon any chances to get her love.But the biggest problem is she's already has a boyfriend,and we know each other and her BF is a common friend to me.I notice recently her attitude towards him is chaged.What i am worried about is when someday her BF is conscious of the special relationship between her and me.How can I explain it?I don't know how to deal with it? Can you give me some advice?I will be really thankful wether the solution you give is work.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@Dask1221 (160)
• United States
5 Nov 07
If she already has a boyfriend, and if you are a good friend, you will leave her alone romantically. She is dating someone else, and if you continue to let yourself stare at her and let on that you have feelings for her, you may ruin her relationship with her boyfriend, or make her boyfriend very upset if he finds out and ruin your friendship with him. You need to be respectful and keep it just friendly with her. I understand that you like her a lot, but she would need to make the decision to break it off with her boyfriend before starting anything with you. And if she makes a move on you, you need to tell her that. If she likes you enough in that way, she will eventually break it off with her boyfriend and let you know she wants to date you. If that happens, you should at least give him the respect of going and talking to him about it, and letting him know that you don't want to disrespect him by dating her, but that you and she like each other and that you hope he won't be upset since they are not together anymore. If he gets upset over it, then you will have to let him know that you like her too much to pass up being with her, and possibly lose his friendship. You'll have to decide what matters to you more if that comes up. Anyway, since she is dating him right now, back off and don't make a move to be more than friends or let her know that you want to be more than friends. It would be disrespectful of her current relationship.
1 person likes this
@nangel78 (1458)
• United States
5 Nov 07
As the others have said, I would take a steop back and not get involved in their relationship. That may create more problems in the long run. It is better to give things time.
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@fanji008 (782)
• China
5 Nov 07
Well,I don't think it's gonna happen for me. Even if I have the feeling for him,I won't destroy the their relationship cause I don't want anybody to get hurt. I'll just leave. But everybody has the right to persue his love. So if you really love the girl and she loves you but not her current BF,then maybe it's better that you guys be together. Hopefully you'll find your love and happiness.
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18449)
• India
5 Nov 07
I think you can't control your feeling. But you shoukd also remember that she has already got a BF If he knows, as he is common friend of yours he will feel very sad.. Also what happened to you all these days when you stufied with her? Did you not like her at that time? If she is also not interested with her BF, you can proceed. But i know these things happen but this is not correct.
@Dask1221 (160)
• United States
5 Nov 07
You should not proceed, even if she is no longer interested in her boyfriend. It is up to her to break up with him if she doesn't want to be with him anymore. But you should not make a move. It's not becoming of a good guy to date to try to move in one a girl while she's already dating someone else. That will make you look very untrustworthy!
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18449)
• India
6 Nov 07
i think you have whole heartedly supported my view.
@djeljhay (12)
• Philippines
6 Nov 07
maril,, well,, i know how hard it is to fall in love with someone you know is already committed,,the thing is you must learn that when you choose to love someone make sure that all is fair,,,you told us the girl is committedto your friend,,,did you ever thought about your friend's feelings if he found out?probably your just attracted to the girl because she is nice, fun to be with,, intelligent etc,,,but i tell you it's better to love and be in love with someone if you dont hurt any one
@jedhimura (194)
• Philippines
5 Nov 07
Hi mari123, ohh..... that is really bad situation thr... I think the solution to this for now... is wait... YES!, wait for the day she's free... w/o a boyfriend... if you can't control yourself... try confessing to her... i mean, just tell her, but in private... and wait.. again wait.. patience is a virtue, believe me! Good day!
@foxyfire33 (10007)
• United States
5 Nov 07
I'm confused...What's the deal with "posted 2006-07-31 10:31pm (#1) Was this some sort of advice column question that you're trying to get more opinions on. I could probably answer better if I knew what you were talking about.
@blueunicorn (2408)
• United States
5 Nov 07
I think you should maybe try to stay away from this girl if you can. It sounds as if you don't trust yourself to do the right thing, yet you know that the right thing to do is to leave her alone while she has a boyfriend. To me, it is a matter of integrity on your part. While everyone does have a right to pursue love, they don't have a right to do it while the other person is involved with someone else. Even if she were to break up with him she needs time to process that relationship in her mind before moving straight into another one. Honestly, I would distance myself from the situation until the girl is free from the other guy and has had a chance to have some time for herself. If there are feelings for you from her I'm sure she is well aware at this point that they go both ways and will let you know when she is ready.