Whose to Blame
By angemac23
@angemac23 (2003)
Canada
November 5, 2007 1:49pm CST
I have been hearing on the news lately about kids fighting back bullies and some have even committed suicide or brought weapons to school becasue they are so angry about being tortured everyday. My question is, if a child is being tortured and made fun of so much that their life becomes unbearable, are they at fault if they bring in a gun to school and hurt the people who made them miserable? And if child commits suicide because of the humiliation he or she endures everyday at the hands of bullies, whose fault is it? The Columbine incident comes to my mind. I do not think the best thing for those boys to do was shoot up a school, however, it is common knowledge that they were made fun of and shunned because they were different. Even after the shootings, people were still calling them outcasts!!! Isn't that what caused them to be so angry in the first place. If I was tortured that much and was going to kill myself, I would bring everyone who made me miserable down with me too! People never stopped to think about how they felt, and instead of jsut leaving them alone, the other kids just kept shunning them until they snapped. Am I wrong to be defending kids who lash back against their tormentors or am I right in saying something has to be done to prevent these things from happening again? There is an old saying "kids will be kids" but today, some of the things kids are doing are downright evil and it has to stop!
2 people like this
5 responses
@roberten (3128)
• United States
6 Nov 07
Kids live what they learn; not just at home but at school, on the play ground, at church, etc. Being insecure, they will also lash out at things they remind them of their own flaws. We are all to blame for doing nothing to promote healthy, confident and happy children. Whose at fault, we all are.
1 person likes this
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
6 Nov 07
This is a good point, roberten. It goes along with my discussion last week about if a person will stand up for what they feel is right or if they will keep quiet. We live in a society now days where it is uncommon to hear another parent say something to a child that is misbehaving. They don't want to get yelled at by the parent of the child that is not acting appropriately. However, if we were to say something it would show that society isn't going to allow that type of behavior. I really do believe it takes a village to raise a child, and we are all at fault because we don't help each other out.
@paperchaser (503)
• Canada
5 Nov 07
I think that it is true that "kids will be kids", and that many kids, especially in highschool, struggle to keep up with their peers on the social ladder. Therefore, it is to no doubt that some kids are miserable to others to try to prove to the rest of the crowd how tough and cool they are. I think that victims of bullies not only get hurt physically at times, but emotionally as they are not only being bullied by one person or group, but that they are discouraged from being socially intact with the rest of society, and start to become depressive. It is to no surprise, that after being victim to bullies all their life, some decide to take it to the extreme and make matters worse by putting the situation in their own hands, instead of seeking help from a guardian such as a teacher or parent.
@dreambiggg (33)
• United States
6 Nov 07
In experiances I have had in the past with my children as they were growing up, teachers were the ones that were in the wrong in the way my daughter felt...she would not want to go to school and would throw up because her teacher would ask her questions for instance.... she missed alot of school because she had trouble hearing, had went through 5 operations from when she was much younger and struggled with her homework as a result of this. She fell behind and instead of the teachers trying to get to the bottom of the situation to see what could be done to help, he made fun of her and asked her questions like, why are you even here today.. you have miss 2 days already this week? This teacher would harass my daughters older sister and he would make her cry also.. I ended up letting my daughter drop out of high school.... which was probably not the best choice at the time, but I was not going to let her suffer like that when no one would do anything to help correct the problem. The guy that did this retired the next year....sometimes the teachers are not a good choice to confied in (just my opinion of course)Now a days, times have drastically changed, kids are so hateful and cruel towards each other... there is so much hate everywhere in this world...it's very sad to me. I believe that when the law changed from being able to make your children mind to now you can't touch them...that is when it all fell apart!! As parents you have no rights, you get in "trouble" for correcting your kids. It is very very sad!!
1 person likes this
@kat_princess (1470)
• Philippines
6 Nov 07
I admit to have been bullied back in elementary and high school especially when I had a handicap.I can but myself in the shoes of the boys in the Columbine incident but I didn't even fight back because my teachers kept thinking that I was the bad one and those bullies get away clean even if they're at fault.Now that I'm in college,I feel that it's my Exodus to get away from those people.After all,they're the one now who doesn't have friends.Well,I think they just got what they deserve.Going back,I don't blame those kids who are bullied to fight back because sometimes,you have to teach people their lesson the hard way.
@blueunicorn (2401)
• United States
6 Nov 07
I would have answered this question a lot differently a little more than a year ago. Since then, however, my oldest daughter has started school. She is now in first grade and has been the victim of a bully. Two boys pushed her down on the playground at recess and rubbed her face in the dirt/ grass. The two boys got a whopping 10 minute time out from recess as a punishment! The parents weren't even contacted. We know this because we fought with the school and principal for weeks with no satisfactory resolution. According to the school kids don't know right from wrong until 4th grade, so they will not treat this type of behavior as bullying until then. I say that by then the kids have learned all the ins and out and the tricks so they are just better at it. In my opinion you can't blame the bully at this level because the adults around them aren't telling them they are wrong. You can't blame the parents of the bully because the school doesn't see fit to mention it to the parents. I completely blame the school and the policies it has in place. I could go on and on about this. Sorry for the book length answer!
@xXxMikesWifeyxXx (3072)
• United States
6 Nov 07
well this is a contivorseal question. i really dont know who i would blame..i know it definatly needs to stop!! because teachers know and see these things happening but they dont do anything.. i say you see someone bullieing another student on and on and on.. suspend his butt. let him know it is not going to be tolerated in the school... i think it will calm down alot of it but NOT ALL...and if you play sports..bench them for a week
i bet that will teach them a lesson ive never known one student to not care about his or her sports if they are involved in any..
