Do you and your siblings have a good relationship? Does age difference matter?

United States
November 7, 2007 11:23am CST
I have an older brother and we are 3 years apart. When we were young we used to a fight a lot, and I remember that vividly. It was exhausting, and I'm sure my parents were annoyed by it. We just didn't agree on much. All of a sudden, when my brother hit high school and I was in 6th grade, he stopped in the middle of a fight and said "why can't we just be friends?" Ever since we've pretty much gotten along. We have our moments, and we still can't see each other for more than 3 days without having some sort of spat, but I consider him one of my best friends and I appreciate his advice on everything. He knows more about me than my parents do, and I can't imagine life any other way. Do you have a good relationship with your brother or your siblings? I have always thought that age difference plays a big part in good/bad relations between siblings. I have known many families that have children around 3 years apart, and they seem to get along very well for the most part. What do you think? How far apart are you and your siblings? I appreciate your feedback.
1 person likes this
25 responses
@raychill (6525)
• United States
8 Nov 07
No. Idiot Wives matter. My brother and I were really close. We're 2 and a half years apart from each other other (he's older) and we were always really close until he met the girl who became his wife. She kinda just pulled him away from the family and then things happened between us that just got her and i on bad grounds and of course he picked her over me so we basically talk through my mother now. It's pretty lame. I dont' think age matters at all cause my brother was about the same as your brother but we always got along... until he met the devil that is. ha ha
@raychill (6525)
• United States
8 Nov 07
yeah. It's a sad situation. But it's been 4 years and I'm kinda over it. I mean, it sucks and it always will. They have 2 kids and I don't get to see or spend much time with my nephews simply because my brother and his wife are really stupid about it. My mom and dad hate to see us like this. Because my dad had 4 siblings and the only one he was close to passed away when he was 19. My mom and her brother never talk. So they know how much it sucks when my bro and I were close. Actually I don't even call him my brother, I call him "That guy who used to be my brother" because I seriously don't know who he is. And I've tried to make things better but I'm just tired of being the bigger person...you know?
• United States
8 Nov 07
Oh man! That is a tough situation. It's too bad your brother doesn't see that his wife is pulling him away from people. He must be a little blinded :-P
@ailema4ever (2668)
• Finland
7 Nov 07
I have a younger brother. Our age difference is only 2 years. We've always been close ever since we were little. We'd play together and I would be like his "Xena". He had a small body when he was young, so I protected him from all the other kids he he he...One time some other boy made him cry and he came to me, so I confronted that other boy and told him NEVER to do such a thing again he he he... Now he's all grown up (I'm 29 and he's 27) and he's grown SO mature. These days I'm sometimes amazed at his mature thoughts and ideas and advice. He's no longer my little brother. ;-D I'm SO PROUD of him. We've always had a great relationship. Before he had a girlfriend at the age of 23, he used to ask me to help him find some trousers or shoes or shirts and I LOVED that. I LOVED being trusted like that. Even now, he's getting married soon, he still asks for my advice and he still asks me to help him check on everything. It's a SPLENDID relationship and I hope it'll continue that way. ;-D I think it all depends on the kids themselves. I've seen some people whose age difference is quite big, but they get along pretty well. :-)))
• United States
7 Nov 07
I think you're probably right -- the personalities really make a difference on how siblings will get along. I know that my parents are definitely happy that we have had as good of a relationship as we do, and even my dad made it a point to tell me yesterday that he thinks my brother values my advice more than anyone else's. I can't imagine life without him and I'm glad we got over our bickering phase :-)
• Finland
7 Nov 07
Yeah, I can imagine that your parents are happy that you both have a good relationship now. ;-D It's also an honour if our sibling honour our opinion better than others. I also can't imagine life without my brother. Yeah, it's SO good that you got over that bickering phase! :-D
@ssh123 (31073)
• India
7 Nov 07
We are 9, five brother and 4 sisters each having a distance in age to the extent of 2 to 3 years and we are grateful to our parents for inculcating from the beginning the unity of the family and it is very much in all of us, despite all of them now married, having their own families. All my sisters are abroad and all brothers stay in Bangalore city and we meet once in 3 months and once a year everyone of us meet at a family reunion.
• United States
7 Nov 07
It really does make a difference when your parents make sure you realize how important your family is. I get together with my brother at least twice a year so we can catch up and we even talk on the phone about once a week. He lives in Philadelphia, PA and I live in St Paul, MN in the US, so it's always nice when we can take the time to spend more time together.
• United States
8 Jan 08
My brothers and I have a good relationship now that we are older. I remember in school since I was the oldest we did not have that good of a relationship but thats because I was always wondering what they were doing and always trying to be the parent with them and of course they did not like that. Now that we are all older we get along good. We all live in different town so we dont get to see each other very much but when we do it is good.
@shazana (30)
• Malaysia
7 Nov 07
My brother and I are all we have got. We get along fine although when we were young we fought like all children do. He is 1year 4months older than I am. Around 14-15 we more or less grew up and the fighting pattered down to teasing and debating and the like. Now at 21 and 22 we get along fine! I think the most important influence was our mother who wanted both of us to have a good relationship out of concern. Too many siblings fight and the one who hurts the most are their parents dont you agree?
• United States
7 Nov 07
I definitely agree. Parents are the ones that have to witness all of the fighting from the outside, and it hurts them when they can't help fix the problem because they can't change their kids. The kids really have to learn to accept each other's personality differences, and that can take a long time for children to grasp.
• India
16 Jan 08
I don't think that age difference matter in the relationship.The cause for my thought is as follows.Each individual has his own characters.Eventhough the relationship between son/daughter and mother,elder and youngr brother is considerd as so precious and strongerit isn't mean that they are unique.Each one has his own characters and habits.siblings has blood relationship.but it's not enough.Love should be the concept that ties relations.in this society we can see brothers who fight each other.LOVE IS ALL IN ALL!!!!
@subha12 (18441)
• India
8 Nov 07
I have also an older brother 7 years older than me. although the age gap is big, he is protective of me. From the childhood we never fought with each other. But as I was matured beyond my age, i used to guide him in many things. we have good relation.
• Philippines
7 Jan 08
I have two older sisters, the oldest is 7 years older than me while the second is 6 years older than me. When we were in our teens we often have shouting matches but when we grew older we enjoy each other's company much and laugh when we remember our fights when we were younger. I guess when siblings mature we get to understand each other thus we talk out our differences instead of fighting over them.
@ericajoyce (1746)
• Philippines
7 Jan 08
Hello groove789. I am the elders among my siblings. My sister is one year younger than me and my brother is 8 years younger than me. We dont get along before but, now were pretty much ok. We dont fight that often anymore. Age difference doesn't matter to me.
• Philippines
8 Nov 07
I'm the eldest of 4 children. I have a brother who's two years younger than me, a sister who's seven years younger, and another sister who's 12 years younger. My brother and I get along pretty well since we're the ones who are practically the same age. I even think he could be more mature than I am. He tells me stuff he can't tell my parents. I don't tell him everything, but we're pretty okay together. My sister and I who are seven years apart get along very well. We go shopping together, watch movies together, go on double dates with our boyfriends and stuff like that. We even share clothes because despite the age gap, we're pretty much the same size and that's great for both of us. I think we know each other the best compared to our other siblings. My youngest sister, who's 12 years younger than I am, is already taller than me. We also get along well, but on a different level. I'm really like her big sister because I help her with her homework and advise her on what to wear and stuff, but sometimes I can get crazy like a kid and goof around with her. I also get to borrow her stuff sometimes. We go on walks together and I'm usually the one she rants to when my parents scold her or something. I'm just glad that I get along well with my siblings in spite of the age differences.
@ayou82 (3450)
• Philippines
8 Nov 07
MNo it doesnt matter .WE are all girls in the family the only problem we have is about the clothes they want my collection of clothes and it really creates a lot of problems because they want to get from my closet..I mean im not being hard on them but what i wear and I really look good at..they want to get it from me and sometimes they steal my fashion and thats what i hate the most. As for good relationshipo yeah we do have a good relationship to one another.
@bfarrier1 (2082)
• United States
8 Nov 07
I have 1 sister 1 brother, we are very close my sister is 8 yrs. older and my brother is 1 yr. younger. I am sure we fought when we were kids but since we became adults we have never had cross words been mad at each other we all get along very well and were very close I could not imagine not having them in my life. I really don't think age matters I think its probably the family and maybe the way were raised i know for myself and siblings for the most part growing up we were all we had to depend on so maybe that's why were close i really can't say.
@thuynhu (661)
• United States
25 Nov 07
I have an older brother and two younger brothers. I don't get along with the older one the much but we still hold our good times together. The two younger ones I'm real close to one is 3 years younger and the other is 7 years younger than me. And we get along fairly well, there are those times that they just drive you mad, but at the end of the day we get back together and we're just fine and dandy.... weird word to use but yeah. I love the youngest one the most maybe cause he's just like me. Yeah majority of families I believe do get along between those ages. It's great to have brothers and sisters, even though I don't have any blood sisters I still have real close friends that I consider to be a sister. They are always there for you, especially in real times of need. I love them all.
@Emilylj (40)
• United States
26 Dec 07
Me and my sister had our ups and downs, we mostly just push and tickle each other for fun, but she also can hurt my feelings and I rarely tell her that she hurt my feelings if she notices about it or not. =/
@limcyjain (3516)
• India
7 Nov 07
Yes i have a perfect relationship with my daughters. My daughters are aged 9 and 5. They rely on me like anything and we trust each other and they do care for me and my instructions. I have a brother who respects me. we do have some fights sometimes but its just out of love and nothing wrong about it. Overall a healty relationship on both fronts.
@patgalca (18164)
• Orangeville, Ontario
7 Nov 07
There are 8 kids in my husband's family. They are all a year apart, maybe two. Heck, two of them were born in the same year - one in January the next in December! They are all very close. On the other hand, I am the baby of my family where my brother is 4.5 years older than me, my sister 9.5 years older than me, my other sister 14 years older than me and my oldest brother 15 years older than me. I have never had much of a relationship with any of them. My closest brother and I lived in the same house together for a period of time that I remember and we fought. I literally did not grow up with my other siblings. They were all moved out by the time I was 9. (My oldest brother got married when I was 6). I am 45 years of age and my siblings still think of me as the baby and treat me as such. I could go the rest of my life without ever seeing any of them again. (My oldest brother passed away 3 years ago which was devestating as I hadn't seen him in 8 years and, as I said, I didn't grow up with him). The brother closest to me treats me well, and my oldest sister who babysat me, took care of me, etc., still has that kind of caretaker attitude towards me - but in a nice way. The middle sister.... eh, she thinks she's perfect. Whatever! They all know that I am not!
@maybebaby (1230)
• Canada
8 Nov 07
I have two brothers and a sister and now that we're all in our 20s we get along great. We still have little fights every so often but they don't last and we make up almost as soon as they're over. It's nice to be able to talk to your siblings about things and I know that I'm lucky to have 3 great sibliings. I have friends that can't talk to their brothers and sisters about anything and surely couldn't stand to be around them for any longer than neccessary.
@summer218 (197)
• United States
7 Nov 07
I have 4 siblings, 1 brother and 3 sisters. Although, I've always had a very close relationship with my sisters, I feel my bond with my brother is very special. Afterall, it was just me and him for a little while. I'm older, he's second in line. He would follow me around and I would try to see how much mischief I could get him into. It was fun while it lasted, then the others crashed our party. I will always love my brother, as well as my sisters. :)
@shazana (30)
• Malaysia
7 Nov 07
My brother and I are all we have and he is 1year 4months older than myself. Naturally, we fought as children but from input of my parents and other children we almost always got along.Now in our twenties we are definitely close. I dont think it is so much the age gap as the understanding that rivalry should not be a part of the relationship. Any relationship really. besides, I think out mother played a big role in helping us because she always emphasised the importance of one another. If you cant love and respect and get along with your closest and dearest then we are the ones who lose out. And we loved our mother enough not to want to hurt her. :)
• United States
7 Nov 07
i have two older brothers and two older sisters and one younger brother and one younger sister.we all get along really good now.when we were younger it was a different story.we are all over the age of 30 and we have learned that family is the most important thing in life and they cant be replaced.