Help: My Son Wants to Join A College Fraternity

November 8, 2007 5:31am CST
This is really bothering me. And I am really scared about it. Two nights ago my son,18, 2nd year college, asked me if he can join a fraternity in school. I told him a big NO. I am so against fraternities because of what I heard a lot of bad news about them. Kids die because of their hazing activities. Also there are a lot of troubles related to fraternities. When I was in school I never joined a single fraternity or sorority whatsoever. I don't see any reason why I should allow my son to join. But I am still worried he would join without telling me. What do you think? Did you join fraternities or sorority when you were in school? What were your experiences, positive and negative?
1 person likes this
5 responses
• United States
20 Apr 09
As someone who joined a fraternity their sophomore year, I wish I would have joined when I first started college. You meet people that you otherwise would not meet. You also can network with people outside of your major. So far, a lot of my best college memories has been with my fraternity brothers. If you are worried about hazing most fraternities do not haze anymore but there are some who still do and all fraternities at the national and international level are against hazing. Your son also has the option of not pledging anymore if the fraternity he chooses makes him do something he does not want to do.
• Philippines
19 Apr 09
Let your son decide on his own.
@bcote212 (1112)
• United States
9 Dec 07
I am going to be real straight with you mama. Honestly your son is 18 years old, and he is legal to do pretty much anything that he wanted to. So it really is a good thing that he at least came to you for your opinion. Most people his age would not say anything, and you would have no idea till you saw the tatoo, or he started telling you about hell week. your son obviously takes your thoughts into consideration before making a decision, but ultimatly the decision in his. I am sure that everything will work out fine. Plus there really are some great frats out there, dont let the few that are bad haze your views on some of the great ones. I hope he is pledging for a good one. Try googling it to find out. :)
@yoursash (10)
• United States
9 Dec 07
For myself, joining a fraternity was one of the best decisions I ever made. I have made lasting friendships with my fraternity brothers and met so many people as a result. Additionally, I believe being involved in Greek life opens you up socially and develops you professionally while preparing you for the real world. On the other hand, Greek life is not for everyone... If he really wants to join a fraternity, I suggest you have him research that specific fraternity. Look into their track record, if they have ever had any hazing incidents, ask around campus, and even the Greek Affairs Office at his school! Best of luck to you and your son. - Chris
• United States
18 Jun 08
I point to joining my fraternity as the best decision of my life. If you're son is going to a larger school there will be so many different fraternities that he should be able to find one that is the right fit for him. And he should be able to find one that doesn't haze. Those get the headlines and there are still fraternities out there that haze but mine definitely didn't (i wouldn't have stayed with it) and i know there are many out there that don't. Hopefully he won't go ahead and just join (it's pretty expensive to do that without your parents supporting you) but if you tell him your concerns and want him to let you know the process and how the house is about he might go into it with an open mind and know what to look for so that he doesn't join a house that hazes or has a bad reputation. A good fraternity is amazing for the brotherhood, the connections and opportunities. He just needs to find the right one that promote the right ideals.