Hypocritical friends.
By mamasan34
@mamasan34 (6518)
United States
November 8, 2007 10:50pm CST
Since I have moved to where I am now, I befriended someone that I am not so sure I should have. I am seeing that she is a person with two faces. One person she is with me. When she is around others, she portrays herself to be something completely different. It really irritates me. I don't understand why people feel the need to put on a show or "put on airs" for others. This woman drinks like a fish when her kids come home from school, smokes (I smoke too), has been known to leave her kids (ages 6, 9, 11) at home alone at night since her husband is on deployment and go karaoke with friends (who will also leave her 2 year old son with the children alone) at the local bars. The children are very undisciplined, spoiled and she doesn't really take the time to really know her kids. She comes home, cooks dinner, starts popping beer after beer sometimes a 12 pack in a night and this is no exaggeration. I know that she has driven the kids around while drinking as well. Which I have told her that this is not right. It scares me. One night she was so drunk here at my home that she insisted she drive home and she asked the 11 year old to help her drive. I was astounded. It was 2 a.m.! I told her that she must stay here and that she was drunk and could not drive with the children in the car with her like that. It was far too dangerous. She claims to be deeply religious as well. I don't see how. She doesn't live a christian life and she hasn't stepped foot in a church in quite some time. However she is a member of Protestant Women of the Chapel and goes weekly, but after she goes to this class, she will spark up a cigarette when she gets in the car. She got upset with me because I had a cigarette before class and she said that it wasn't "right" to smoke, they could smell it on us and think that we are hypocrites. I told her I don't care what those ladies think about me. God knows I smoke and I can't hide it from him and he is the only one I answer to. She acts so different when we are there and then we get in the car and she starts talking about other people like they are pieces of trash. I am sorry this is not christian behavior. She always throws it in peoples faces that her husband outranks theirs. I really dislike that. She will call other ladies in the group of military wives that we are associated with white trash and I look at her and think to myself, boyo, you have some room to talk. I just don't get it. Then I watched her children for 4 days while she went on a religious retreat with the Protestant Women of the Chapel and she talked about the way I cared for her kids behind my back. Her children refused to shower at my house. I thought that was gross, but I don't discipline other people's children, I made her aware of the situation, she told them to shower and they refused to. I will not force those kids to do anything, they were bad enough as it was. I figured if them not showering was the worst that happened I was doing good. My house was trashed when they left. I found food, candy and drinks under my futon in the guest room after I had explicitly told them no food or drinks in the bedroom. The little girl peed herself and left her panties under the bed after I had told her to put them in the laundry room. She lied to me and told me she did and did not. So the room stinks like pee. It took me two days to air out the room. Between the three of them taking turns misbehaving, whining because they couldn't have their way and them each wanting three different things for dinner I had had it. So, to hear my mutual friend tell me that she was saying these things has infuriated me. It takes everything I have to even smile at her anymore. I have withdrawn from PWOC because I don't want to be there with her. I am trying to be christian about this, but this is not someone I choose to be friends with any longer. Another thing, after I had explicitly told her and all of our friends I don't allow drinking alcohol in my home she snuck a beer in to my house and started drinking it. I thought to myself, this woman is so desperate that she had to come here with a couple beers in her purse to drink while she was here only a few minutes....how sad. I am trying very hard to find it in my heart to be kind and nice to her. I am having a very hard time of this. Thanks for listening guys!
1 person likes this
3 responses
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
9 Nov 07
I have been doing that here recently. I have to be in contact with her because her husband is my husbands 1st Sgt. so I need to be careful with what I do and say around her. Thanks for the advice!
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
17 Nov 07
Well, it is a difficult situation book. Her husband is my husbands boss. She and her husband are not the most mature people. They can't keep professional lives from personal lives. So, if she were to display her anger towards me and give him a reason to be irritated with my husband, then it would make my husbands life much less pleasant at work.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
12 Nov 07
I went all through your very long rant and I came to one conclusion, the children are imitating their mother. Do as I say, not as I do does not work. I do believe you could be firm, you do not need to spank them, but grounding and taking away privileges does work wonders. If the mother objects, well she is not much of a mother nor much of a Christian either. I mean no wonder her children are brats, they do not have that example at home.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
12 Nov 07
Thank you suspenseful! I have told her that and she doesn't do a thing about it. Then she complains about why her children don't do anything or help her when she needs it. I have literally heard her ask her kids to help clean up and they look at her and tell her NO! She does nothing. I told her that right there is going to get so much worse when they are older and she better nip it in the bud now. I told her that if my daughter said NO to me when I asked her to do something she would get punished. They have no respect for others and we were at a Christmas stocking stuffing party and I left my seat for a moment and one of her kids took my seat. I said nicely that this was my seat and she said "sorry" and turned around with her mom right there and ignored me. Oh I was hot! I looked at her and she just shrugged at me like "what can I do?" One of the other ladies made room for me and said that those kids need a good spanking. I had to agree. But at least I am not the only one who notices.
@maylaine (441)
• Philippines
12 Nov 07
Well, maybe she is really different. i just feel sorry not only for her but also for her kids. If their mother act like that how can you expect her kids to act nice?Maybe there is something inside her that she cant speak out. Because if she is happy i dont think she will put her life in misery. I think and i guess maybe what she said about those women is also the same thing happening to her. You can talk to her heart to heart tell her what you see in her.Maybe she is just looking for someone that she can talk too but she is not brave enough to disclose what she is hiding inside her.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
12 Nov 07
maylaine, you do make a good point. We have had talks before and she has disclosed that she is not happy in her marriage. It is sad, but I think she brings a lot of this on herself. She makes her husband look like a fool. When he calls her she puts him on speaker phone and he doesn't know about it and she makes fun of him while he's talking. I think this is terrible. No, she is not happy and I imagine that she says these things about other women to make herself feel better. This woman doesn't hear other's thoughts and she doesn't try to make her marriage work so I don't know what else to do with that, other than to mind my own business. The less I know the better.




