Hypocritical friends.

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Since I have moved to where I am now, I befriended someone that I am not so sure I should have. I am seeing that she is a person with two faces. One person she is with me. When she is around others, she portrays herself to be something completely different. It really irritates me. I don't understand why people feel the need to put on a show or "put on airs" for others. This woman drinks like a fish when her kids come home from school, smokes (I smoke too), has been known to leave her kids (ages 6, 9, 11) at home alone at night since her husband is on deployment and go karaoke with friends (who will also leave her 2 year old son with the children alone) at the local bars. The children are very undisciplined, spoiled and she doesn't really take the time to really know her kids. She comes home, cooks dinner, starts popping beer after beer sometimes a 12 pack in a night and this is no exaggeration. I know that she has driven the kids around while drinking as well. Which I have told her that this is not right. It scares me. One night she was so drunk here at my home that she insisted she drive home and she asked the 11 year old to help her drive. I was astounded. It was 2 a.m.! I told her that she must stay here and that she was drunk and could not drive with the children in the car with her like that. It was far too dangerous. She claims to be deeply religious as well. I don't see how. She doesn't live a christian life and she hasn't stepped foot in a church in quite some time. However she is a member of Protestant Women of the Chapel and goes weekly, but after she goes to this class, she will spark up a cigarette when she gets in the car. She got upset with me because I had a cigarette before class and she said that it wasn't "right" to smoke, they could smell it on us and think that we are hypocrites. I told her I don't care what those ladies think about me. God knows I smoke and I can't hide it from him and he is the only one I answer to. She acts so different when we are there and then we get in the car and she starts talking about other people like they are pieces of trash. I am sorry this is not christian behavior. She always throws it in peoples faces that her husband outranks theirs. I really dislike that. She will call other ladies in the group of military wives that we are associated with white trash and I look at her and think to myself, boyo, you have some room to talk. I just don't get it. Then I watched her children for 4 days while she went on a religious retreat with the Protestant Women of the Chapel and she talked about the way I cared for her kids behind my back. Her children refused to shower at my house. I thought that was gross, but I don't discipline other people's children, I made her aware of the situation, she told them to shower and they refused to. I will not force those kids to do anything, they were bad enough as it was. I figured if them not showering was the worst that happened I was doing good. My house was trashed when they left. I found food, candy and drinks under my futon in the guest room after I had explicitly told them no food or drinks in the bedroom. The little girl peed herself and left her panties under the bed after I had told her to put them in the laundry room. She lied to me and told me she did and did not. So the room stinks like pee. It took me two days to air out the room. Between the three of them taking turns misbehaving, whining because they couldn't have their way and them each wanting three different things for dinner I had had it. So, to hear my mutual friend tell me that she was saying these things has infuriated me. It takes everything I have to even smile at her anymore. I have withdrawn from PWOC because I don't want to be there with her. I am trying to be christian about this, but this is not someone I choose to be friends with any longer. Another thing, after I had explicitly told her and all of our friends I don't allow drinking alcohol in my home she snuck a beer in to my house and started drinking it. I thought to myself, this woman is so desperate that she had to come here with a couple beers in her purse to drink while she was here only a few minutes....how sad. I am trying very hard to find it in my heart to be kind and nice to her. I am having a very hard time of this. Thanks for listening guys!