marriage

United States
November 10, 2007 10:39pm CST
I have a question. when a couple get's married isn't it suppose to be a 50/50 relationship. and we become as one. so we no longer should be saying that's mines. do you agree with me?
2 people like this
10 responses
@Rozie37 (15499)
• Turkmenistan
11 Nov 07
That is my understanding of a marriage, yes. But different people have different ideas of what marriage is suppose to be. You have to talk things out and come to a compromise.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Nov 07
yeah that's true but sometimes them talk turn into heated arguments. thanks
@nkhanna (922)
• India
11 Nov 07
i truly agree with u.since marriage is suppose to b a 50/50 realtioship,there comes no question of mine.everything should be us.if there is the question of mine n u in a marriage then it does not work.for many couples whose marriage unfortunately does not work.i guess this is one of the probable reason.they consider "u n me" situation all the time n not the 'us" situation.the dont think that when their marriage will brak up what will happen to them.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Nov 07
yes i think that's why many marriages fell. because of the lack of being as one. thanks
@Myrrdin (3599)
• Canada
1 Dec 07
yes and no. My father and step mother have kind of a separate but equal relationship, they have their own bank accounts and their own lives. They split the expenses and anything left over is their own. My ex and I merged everything, when our marriage failed it made things tough. Every relationship is different, you have to find what works for you.
@psyche49f (2502)
• Philippines
11 Nov 07
Yup, I do agree with you. When couples get married, the two will become one...everything will be conjugal--properties, children...they will now become a couple, so it's really a give-and-take relationship. This is what it should be, but I guess there are couples who opt for pre-nuptial agreement of sorts defying this give and take relationship. However, this is the exception rather than the rule. Couples still agree to become one as soon as they get married...
• United States
11 Nov 07
hello friend well it's not that way in my home at all. we have a bad habit of claiming things for ourselves we need to work on that for sure. thanks for the first to respond.
1 person likes this
@only1shi (404)
• United States
27 Nov 07
marriage should be 50/50, but i feel that each person in the relationship brings their own strengths and weaknesses. i think that you spouse should be there to foster your strengths and help to improve your weaknesses. it should be a system of checks and balances. and honesty. even if there is something that you don't want to discuss, i think that you can't move into the future until you learn from your past.
• United States
1 Dec 07
It is true that marriage is supposed to bring a man and a woman completely together. However, letting go of what is yours isn't easy. Sharing everything is hard and takes time and work. It's becoming a whole new unit.
• United States
11 Nov 07
50/50 doesn't meant that everything belongs to and includes both of you, it means everything is compromised. I've been living with my fiance for a year and there are most certainly still things that I consider to be "mine" and "his" and there are also several things we share. But no matter what, you'll always be two people, you're not required to share everything since you're not going to agree on everything.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
12 Nov 07
I believe alot of things are ours...money, decisions, furniture. Some things we still claim as our own like my pc, his pc, my chair, his chair. It's just how things are with us. "COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS" **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
@huilee (1005)
• Singapore
12 Nov 07
Well, when a couple gets married, things changes... I mean yah, things should no longer be urs mine or what, it should be ours... But i guess it really depends... If the person is just joking, so be it... If not, i guess they shoudnt be differentiating stuff as such as it truly breaks the others heart...
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
11 Nov 07
It should be that but most times it isn't, especially in some divorces. When it comes to marriage you do share things, but there are instances where some things are his, others are hers, its unavoidable. But you also share and contribute equally to the relationship itself; love, compassion, intimacy, household affairs, family affairs...the 50/50 situation is not just materialistic! Oh and one more note, when it comes to 50/50, it does not mean 50-50 when its good for you only. It does not mean a "fixed" or lopsided 50/50 so that your spouse has to jump through many hoops and you do not. It does not involve using double standards either, make 50/50 mean 50-50. Both spouses should be doing, not just one.