Is it good to argue with children or better to give in at times?

India
November 12, 2007 1:37pm CST
I know, the logical view would be, it is never good to give in to a child's demands or tantrums but my question is a bit different. I sometimes feel that unnecessary argument makes a child more and more stubborn. It is fine till a certain age when a parent's authority over the child is unquestionable and the child knows there is no choice but to obey. I am talking about that in between stage when the children are of an age, when they aren't totally independent yet not in the mood to obey their parents. At that age, all they do is come up with one demand and liberty after another and it becomes a headache for most parents to convince them otherwise. Is it good to argue with them endlessly at that time because its been seen many times that kids get more and more stubborn and determined to disobey when you keep on arguing with them, or is it ok to give in at times and let the learn their own lesson ?
3 people like this
5 responses
• United States
13 Nov 07
If it is something that you do not want your child to do and they insist on arguing with you I would tell them that it is not ok to argue with mommy and no you may not do this but you may do this..... I have found that many a time just redirecting your child to a new activity will stop the arguing or the i wants.
@jillhill (37377)
• United States
13 Nov 07
If it's not dangerous of course learning the lesson the hard way stays with them a little longer. No sense fighting with someone too young to understand...
• United States
12 Nov 07
Argue, and make it known to them that they cannot have everything.
• United States
12 Nov 07
Why argue at all. They are children. They obviously need our guidance to ensure their best interests. If you are the parent there is nothing else that needs to be questioned. If what you are instructing your children to do is not harmful to them or violates their personal rights, then whatever you are doing or giving to them as instructions needs to be listened above all else-- end of discussion. There are times when it is good to listen to your children and to hear their point of views but there are some things that are a closed book. No room for discussion necessary. For example, if your child and you are crossing the street. You tell them, never cross the street without holding my hand. If they want to argue with you or have a tantrum right there would you give in. No! You know that for their safety they need to hold your hand. There are some things like that that need to be because I said so situation. I'm sure other parents would agree.
@Feona1962 (7527)
• United States
12 Nov 07
Hi serenidity, I don't see where arguing is going to get you anywhere..I don't think we should give in all the time either...I have always made a point to talk to my kids and help them understand what I am trying to say to them and then give them the opportunity to tell me what they need or want...When I was a child I did as I was told and that was that..I did not argue and just did whatever my grandma told me to do...If I didn't there were consequences...I didn't have a choice..My kids had a choice..They weren't made to do anything..I asked and we discussed it..I had to realize that just because I knew what could happen, (like getting hurt), I would have to back down and let them experience it themselves..I think that right there is a big learning experience and gives them a better understanding of what I was trying to convey to them...If they don't make mistakes, they don't learn...They think we were never kids and we don't know what they are feeling...I never had a choice and I gave my kids all sorts of choices and I always listened to them and gave them the opportunity to tell me how they thought things should be....I was afraid of my grandma and that is something I did not want my kids to go through...I never spanked them or made them do anything..We reasoned.....I hope this made sense....I didn't want them to think that I knew everything and was always right, because I wasn't...and I don't want to know everything..