my teenage daugther

Philippines
November 15, 2007 11:45pm CST
my eldest, a girl will be twelve years old soon. i didn't realize she's into adolescent stage already. how time flies. i notice a lot of changes in her already aside from physical changes. i'm more worried about her behavior and actions. she will not obey immediately some things i'm asking her do. as if she heard nothing. she will not even study until i told her to do so. most often she doesn't want to go with me anymore, and a lot more. her behaviors really irritated me and sometimes drive me to anger. as far as i can remember, i am not like her when i am of the same age as hers. of course i would like to be with my friends most of the time, but i didn't behave such way to my parents as she do now to us. are children very different nowadays? how do you handle teenage children? sometimes, i wish she will remain a baby or toddler so that i can manage her easily. help!
1 person likes this
3 responses
@jian20 (24)
• Philippines
16 Nov 07
It really does not matter on what you exactly been doing when you were young. The Era of youths today are very much different. They are expose to many things, like britney spears, lindsay lohan, paris hilton etc. who were sometimes their idolize. Just have more patience with her and understand that the changes must have been the result of external exposure to a new environment.
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• Philippines
19 Nov 07
you'r right. teenagers now are very different from those 10 years ago. i agree that environment has so much influence in them. media is one too. i can't even understand the language/words she sometimes use. i'm not even so familiar with these international actresses or singers she's talking about - like the ones you've mentioned, and she's talking about them too. lol. yap, having more patience and understanding is all i can do. thanks.
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@okwusman1 (2249)
• Abuja, Nigeria
16 Nov 07
redbubbles, I thank God for the daughter He has given you. At puberty stage that is when developmental changes are taken place in children, you are bound to experience some behaviourer changes too. They begin to differentiate good from evil, have likes and dislikes, make choices and all that. All you need do is to have patient with her, embrace her, teach her, guide her, don't be hash on her because that stage they hate it. Allow her to spring up, don't challenge her, infact give her freedom but caution and advice her at all times. Good luck .
• Philippines
19 Nov 07
yes, sometimes i feel she hated me for telling her to do this or that. she doesn't want to be told anymore. you're right, she's making choices and decisions of her own. i don't know maybe i have been harsh on her sometimes too. i do give her advices but i'm not sure if she's listening or internalizing all that i'm telling her. thanks for the advice.
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@blueunicorn (2409)
• United States
18 Nov 07
I was a really difficult pre-teen and teenager. I think each of us handles the adolescent stage differently. The good news is that I turned out okay in the end! LOL Unfortunately I can't offer you any suggestions as my oldest daughter is only 6. Of course, I think she is starting adolescence early. I'm ready to duct tape her mouth sometimes, her attitude is getting so bad! All I can say is fell free to send me a message if you just need to vent. And send me any really good tips that work for you. I'm going to need them soon!
• Philippines
19 Nov 07
so did your mother handle you? lol sometimes i would like to duct tape my daugthers mouth also. there were even times i'll caught her making faces which makes me mad. lol. i'm trying to figure out how to handle her. maybe i should act as teenager too and go with her flow? lol from that we'll understand each other? yea, i'll give you some tips that works. thanks!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 07
My parents had a very difficult time handling me. I'm not going to lie about that. I was grounded a lot, there was a lot of yelling, and I really don't know what my parents could have done differently to change my strong will. At one point they almost sent me to military school. Looking back there was one thing that really helped. We drew up a contract outlining specific behaviors. The #1 item was that each family member was to treat the others with repect. There were consequences for each rule that was broken. The cool thing was that my parents had consequences drawn out for if they were breaking certain of the rules, too. Of course they didn't have nearly the rules I did, but I was the kid. I felt more in control with this clear cut contract that I could see and feel. I knew what was expected and what I could expect. Like I said, I turned out well in the end and now have a great relationship with my parents. I'll send you a link to a Helium article I wrote for my dad in a PM.
• Philippines
20 Nov 07
isn't it funny remembering what we were as a child? but those times have served as our learning experiences and sometimes guiding principles in dealing with present times. i'm meek and shy when i was a kid. my daugther is a shy one too but strong willed unlike me. i'm not sure what your mother have done to you could be applied to my daugther and son (when grows bigger). anyway, i'll try that too. i thought i'll be the one giving you tips? lol
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