Do you like helping people?

@khateya (264)
Australia
November 16, 2007 9:17am CST
i can't manage to help my friend that she has a problem with her feeling. She usually feel that she afraid and can't complete any tasks. She usually end up with lose or do nothing. we try to help her, give her new ideas, take her to new place, give her emotional support, encourage her to do something speical but everything not work well. She better just for a moment and then she still the same. What can you help her? Pls share some ideas so that i can go to her again!!!
2 people like this
14 responses
• India
16 Nov 07
Since you have not mentioned any illness about your friend, I feel she is too shy type. This type of people will not feel anything you say.May be inferiority Complex that has deep rooted in to her is the cause. If you ruleout that she dont have any illness like depressoin, then a reverse helping may bring back her to normalcy. Remember this is only a trail. From now onwards stop taking care of her.Do not help her even she asks you for help. Let her feel that all her friends are neglecting her. Let her feel for you. This will bring back emotional changes in her, She will fight with you about your negligence towards her. If this happens then the reverse treatment has worked.And she will be normal from then onwards. If nothing happens let god save her.
@khateya (264)
• Australia
16 Nov 07
we are trying to give her many emotional support and do many things but it work just for a short time then everything back to the same bad... Pls help...
@zzn303 (86)
• China
17 Nov 07
I agree with your analysis,but I do not think reverse helping is proper.is it a little drastic? Maybe this will destroy their friendship, even if she is not depressed.
@khateya (264)
• Australia
17 Nov 07
u two give me such a good idea!!! thank so much
@zzn303 (86)
• China
17 Nov 07
I do not think she is ill.she is only too shy,and dose not have enough courage.Maybe,the inferiority complex plays an important role on this.u know,deppression is a serious problem,I do not think it is so bad.What she need is confidence.So encouragement is stil needed.I see that something special does not work well.so why do not you try simple ones?Encourage her to deal with some simple problems by herself without your or other friends' help.All you need to do is just encourage her when she wanna give up.When she succeds,she will be more confident than before.Go on like in this way,till she is confident enough to manage everything.Hope this will help. Happy posting .
@khateya (264)
• Australia
17 Nov 07
yes her health is fine, but she has her negative feeling toward her ability...
@zzn303 (86)
• China
17 Nov 07
So that is the key point.You should be patient enough to help her get the confidence.I have to say it is lucky to have a friend like you.Maybe only you can find the proper way to give a hand.Wish you good luck and she will be fine soon.If you succeed, tell me.Let me share your joy.Happy posting.
@khateya (264)
• Australia
18 Nov 07
thank you. but not only me who are trying to support her but there are a few other friend of mine too.. Hope that she can be on her own soon.
18 Nov 07
From what you tell,it seems you and your other friend have not catch the point of her problem so that whatever you did is helpless to her.In addition, perhaps it is a problem which is related to matle thing and personality. i believe that i can get her point after keeping touching with her for certain time and then give she or you some effctive measures to solve her problem. If you and your friend are willing to have a try,you can let her contact with me on line by this forum or email.we can become friends and enjoy funny chat,and at the same time i can know her well and master what her metal point is.
@khateya (264)
• Australia
18 Nov 07
MAYBE we don't know her much that we can't manage to help her much anyway we keep trying. thank :)
18 Nov 07
thank for your comment.well ,i wish everything goes well,good luck!
@taurus67 (176)
• Philippines
17 Nov 07
of course as long as I can....I will help,most especially for my family & friend who needs it...
@khateya (264)
• Australia
17 Nov 07
good !!!
@taurus67 (176)
• Philippines
18 Nov 07
thanx for the comment...keep in touch :-)
• China
18 Nov 07
she just maybe has no self-confidence,so you should give her . you can give her a big congratuation when she just completes a small task ,and you can ask some other people around you to help you to prise her and tell her she is great and she is pretty and you all love her very much ! and you should encourage her do everything she is afraid of !!
@khateya (264)
• Australia
18 Nov 07
you are right that she has not self-confidence..
• China
18 Nov 07
If I were you, I won't do that with others together.I will just take care of her silently,just let her feel the warm,not the HELP.
@khateya (264)
• Australia
18 Nov 07
yes, we gave her many emotional support. thank you for you advice.
@cosylvia (401)
• China
17 Nov 07
first i want to say you are so kindly ,in the real life i like help my friends also but in the limited of my ability..so you may try to feel something in her position then give her some advice good luck to you...
@khateya (264)
• Australia
17 Nov 07
thank you
• China
17 Nov 07
Yes,I like helping people.
@khateya (264)
• Australia
17 Nov 07
yes that is good
• Philippines
17 Nov 07
have you tried asking her why she often feels that way? maybe if you know the real reason then you'd be able to really help your friend :-)
@khateya (264)
• Australia
17 Nov 07
we talk and ask her quite many question even their relatives but they also run out of new ideas, they also have tried the same strategies but not work well.
@ayou82 (3459)
• Philippines
17 Nov 07
I love doing charities to people or a stranger .. because you get to feel what they feel and know what they know..and my heart is happy knowing that i could help them in the possible ways i can.
@khateya (264)
• Australia
17 Nov 07
you are really a good person in ur community
@kurtbiewald (2627)
• United States
17 Nov 07
yes, I like to help people also, I like people who like to help people I saw someone like that today maybe we could help each other
@khateya (264)
• Australia
17 Nov 07
yes we need to help each other
• India
16 Nov 07
I am really concerned about the emotional vibrancy of your friend.she seems to be very tender,soft hearted and very pessimistic.According to me you should make her weakness her strength, that is you should show it to her that the failures that she had in her life was due to her unwanted tension and ask her to try otherwise just for one time.you must ask her to do one of her taks in a cool easy going manner and then she will certainly know the difference.Now regarding my mentality,i do help my friends a lot.usually they consult me in such cases as you havementioned.many a time,i have played the role of adviser to my friends and i most of the time they have been benefited with my advises in a positive manner.i hope this time your friend will surely find a change.
@khateya (264)
• Australia
16 Nov 07
we try to help her do many things that she think that she can't do and she seem to be happy but it last for a short time then the same ...
@jc_star10 (953)
• Indonesia
16 Nov 07
I don't quite understand why she has problem with her feeling. Is that she encounters some problems in the past ? I think you need to have a friend to friend talk, find the reason why she is afraid of something. If she is afraid of something, she need to deal with it. What you did is good too, it's just may take sometime to heal her. Keep up doing that, eventually she will recover. Maybe you two can have a vacation together, meet new people.
@khateya (264)
• Australia
16 Nov 07
i hope that she ll recover some day too. thank
@Gyan_guru (364)
• India
19 Nov 07
This is an obvious question..everybody likes and loves a person who helps everyone..I think she needs to be rather mature and bold enough..