I need advise, my son in law hit my daughter in the face.

@dbmax41 (585)
United States
November 19, 2007 9:37am CST
He doubled up his fist and knocked her to the ground. I cant believe this happened. Im so furious right now. I want to teach him a lesson. They have had problems for the last few months and he wont control his anger. So close to thanksgiving and I want my grandboys with me on that day. If I kick his he will tack his boys and leave. What should I do??
3 people like this
6 responses
@lightningMD (5932)
• United States
19 Nov 07
Honestly there is no legal way for you to do anything about this situation. It is up to your daughter to decide and leave him and press abuse charges. Hopefully you took pictures of her face. Make sure every incident is documented. The more evidence she has against him the easier it will be for her to obtain full custody of the children. If she refuses to leave him, then make the best of the holiday and bite your tongue for your daughter and grandson's sake. Atleast they will be with you. Good luck to you and your family.
1 person likes this
@dbmax41 (585)
• United States
19 Nov 07
Thank you. Very good response. Things have calmed down and my daughter said she told him if it ever happened again she would press charges for domestic battery.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 07
Good for her. Hopefully it was a one time incident. Happy Thanksgiving and Thank you for the best response.
@dbmax41 (585)
• United States
20 Nov 07
Your very welcome
• United States
19 Nov 07
You need to urge your daughter to press charges on this violent man! Then she needs to immediately apply for a no contact order and emergency custody papers. She needs help NOW before it gets worse. There is no teaching a person like this a lesson. The best thing you can do is to do as much as you can to protect your daughter and your grandchildren. If your daughter will not leave, you may need to take steps to protect the grandchildren before he starts on them.
@dbmax41 (585)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I agree. Im going to wait a bit before I do anything. They have been together about 5 years now and this is the first time he has done anything like this. I put the fear of God into him a bit ago. I wont repeat what I told him, but he listened and apoligized. I think he is going to stay at his parents house for a bit.
• United States
19 Nov 07
I hope this doesn't end up sounding offensive as I certainly don't mean it that way...but are you absolutely positive this is the first incident? It's very uncommon for someone who is totally non-abusive to begin with that level of violence. The idea of him punching her hard enough to knock her down alarms me very much and makes me very concerned over your daughter's safety. Be very, very careful with this situation. Don't take his apology at face value either. In my experience, they are almost always "sorry" but it rarely stops the abuse. Like I said, I hope I'm not being offensive but as a survivor of an abusive relationship, your post really set off alarm bells for me. Good luck with this situation.
@dbmax41 (585)
• United States
20 Nov 07
When my wife told me what he had done I wondered about that but my daughter and I talked almost all day today. She told me they have never had any argeuments like this before. He hasnt been violent before this, infact she said she was usually more angry than he was durring their spats. He has had some financial problems lately and with the holidays coming it makes it worse. Im still very leary about the situation though. Im twice his size and today I assured him he wouldnt be able to do it again if it ever happened again. Talking here today really helped me cool out. Im going to step back and see what happens over the holidays. I dont want to be in their buisness too much but I have an eye on him. Thanks for the advise. Great help. Oh I took a picture of her fat lip and broken tooth.
1 person likes this
@joahnna18 (368)
• Philippines
19 Nov 07
First of all talk to your son in law what's his problem why he hit you daughter and it's not very kind of him to hit her wife. Hitting her wife means you don't love your wife anymore because you try to hurt her physically. you have to talk to your son in law about that. And it's very dangerous to your daughter to live with your son inlaw because you never know what are the things that your son in law capable off.
@dbmax41 (585)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I agree.
@ellen546 (110)
• United States
17 Dec 07
tell her to box his ears for him he'll quit
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
20 Dec 07
OMG why wasnt he automatically charged?! Or is it that the police werent called? I know that in Canada (ontario at least) domestic abuse charges are laid by THE POLICE automatically.... I realize this was a month ago but whats the situation like now? What does your daughter want to do I mean is she happy with him AT ALL?? Teaching ppl like that a "lesson" never works..in fact more often than not it backfires so be careful with that..
@dbmax41 (585)
• United States
20 Dec 07
He has became a good husband. Not sure if he fliped out because of stress or what but hes very sorry. Police werent called that day. Maybe a good thing. Hes real good to his kids and wife to. Ive had many talks with him now and he seems ok just very sorry it happened. He told me he has an anger network. A group of friends he calls when he gets angry. Its a start.
• United States
11 Dec 07
#1 bathe the whole situation in your prays . Be led of the Spirit but due to the times we are living in . I would call your local domestic shelther . Say I want to do a well being check on my child for spouse hit and knocked to the ground.How do I go about doing this and they should be able lead you the way you should go and what to do . Ill be praying #1 over this whole situation .
@dbmax41 (585)
• United States
11 Dec 07
Thank you very much. Im still upset over this. They are back together now that its been 4 weeks now. I had a few good talks with him. I asked him if he ever felt like doing this before and he said no. He comes from a good family so its not like he was raised that way. Thanks for the prayers. Prayer heals all wounds.
@kaban316 (27)
• Philippines
19 Nov 07
how old are they anyways? have you talked to both companies for their reasons? what methods have you tried so far for them not to fight? I may not be a father but I think I'm like the boy who hits people if they have gotten too far. For a very good reason of course.
@dbmax41 (585)
• United States
19 Nov 07
They are 26. I talked to both of them a little bit ago. My son in law apolagized for being disrespectful and violent.