how to start anew when someone you love dearly passed away.....

Philippines
November 19, 2007 10:48pm CST
The world crumbles when someone close to your heart suddenly passed away....everything is unstable...memories so vivid that you dont know how to move on with your life...you put up different faces just to cope with your grieving....only to realize there's nothing you can really do excet but to wait for the time of healing and accepting she's in a better place right now.....we make our own lives, but when its time to go.....we dont have much choice.....
1 person likes this
11 responses
@hillock (749)
• Qatar
20 Nov 07
i think just take your time and pray. you will remember her without feeling of pain/sorrow tomorrow. and if not tomorrow then the day after tomorrow. Just have the will to cope up and dont rush things. Sometimes it wont come now but it will come soon. keep on praying! ^-^
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Nov 07
i know i dont have anyone to turn to but God,,,,i always believe that everything happens for a reason...thanks:)
@hillock (749)
• Qatar
25 Nov 07
your welcome! ^-^
@suehan1 (4355)
• Australia
20 Nov 07
hi jvfernanso.i understand completely how you are feeling.i recently lost my son,s father,my ex partner,and even though we have not been together for some time,the pain and hurt is still there,especially seeing my son go through this as well.it has only been 3 weeks ago and i am also wondering when the pain will ease. i have had some wonderful discussion with people here at mylot,and the support i have recieved from my friends here has helped me cope,so whenever you need to talk, someone will allways be here.so chin up and any time you want to talk just message me.all the best sue
1 person likes this
• India
20 Nov 07
this situation is very pathetic for everyone. but i believe "love is blind But we are not blind".......So if u love someone u have to love to yourself first.so try to enjoy your life for herself.
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@jimbomuso (950)
20 Nov 07
There is no desciption on how to start again, only a continuence of your life. I've put on that many faces to try and deal with my grief(so much so I was wondering who I am).You are probably left with a lot of questions, powerful feelings and no answers. I can say that it will improve and that the pain softens overtime.Accepting the events that happened is the key, but try not to let the pain guide your actions. I wish for the best on your difficult journey.
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@cdparazo (5768)
• Philippines
20 Nov 07
There is no clearly defined rule on how one should cope with grief. One thing is certain though whenever a love one passes away and that is - one should be allowed to grieve in his/her own way. when one grieves, one learns to deal with pain and move on.
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@cuicuiha (22)
• China
20 Nov 07
there are too many thing that we can do nothing but to accept. Growing and growing, I find it's such things make us humble. Just like we cannot stop aging. Maybe,you can write down your feeling your sorrows, put them into the words and empty your heart. Because filling with sorrow, what else can be added to?
• Philippines
25 Nov 07
You know when this moment happens to me, i just consider my departed one as alive but far away from me. As if we will be seeing each other soon. Thanks!
@subha12 (18452)
• India
21 Nov 07
its really hard situation. When you love someone dearly its probably impossible to forget that person. leave the thing that when that person passes away. its really tough. But time teaches us to bear with it. the memory still reamins in heart forever.
@michfroi (413)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
You need to face the reality though its not that easy but i believe time heals all wounds...
@sharone74 (4838)
• United States
20 Nov 07
I think that you are probably going at the healing process incorrectly. Loss is not about starting anew, but starting from here on, and ca rrying the loved one in ones heart and head. To start anew would be like trying to forget the loved one and move on without them. That is difficult, especially a long term friend or family member who had meaning to you because they taught you things and shared some of your intimate experiences and secrets. So that is my advice. Carry that loved one on with you, many people say that you are never really gone as long as someone remembers and loves you. The pain is great when the person is dear, and the dearer they are the greater the pain of your loss. At some point though, the feeling of imcompletion and loss begins to wane and then you can take your memories of that person out and enjoy them with joy and love again, and the pain ebbs slowly away. God be with you and be gentle with yourself through this, there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
@academic2 (7009)
• Uganda
20 Nov 07
That is the most difficult thing to do Jvfernanso, I lost my mum last february, I have not figured the best way to start anew without her. But I have chosen to remember the virtues in life which she imparted in us as her children, the good things about life she also inherited from her mama. When I see these links in the web of geneology, I realize she has done her part in this business of living on earth, and while she lies in peace in her grave, I know she wants me to do the same virtuous things she did to me to my own children, am doing just that for hr sake, I think that is how best to proceed when you lose a dear one.