Why I can't be happy

China
November 20, 2007 4:34am CST
Many years ago I had several goals and I thought I would be happy if they came true. The goals include that I would be good at looking over things from other people's stand, I have my life who is healthy, pretty, and lovely, I have plenty of time to do what I have no time spent. Now, all come true, but I still am not happy. I have no house of my own, I don't like my job, I think I have few choice for my future. Maybe, I'm a pessimist. Maybe, I conside too much about myself. And more, maybe the world put so much pressure and lure on me and I have no way to satisfy myself. All above, I'm not happy. I'm doing what I don't like to do. I can't find my life meaning.
5 people like this
19 responses
@spoiled311 (5502)
• Philippines
20 Nov 07
hello tainpai! i hope this response finds you in better health. you know, i used to be an unhappy person. despite my prayers being answered, i am still unhappy and having bouts with depression. it was being i was not content. i kept longing for things i don't have and circumstances i am in. eventually, God made me realize that and He helped me get over that negative attitude. now, i am learning to appreciate each day, whether i have work or not. you see, i work freelance and it is not everyday that i have a job. i used to worry a lot, but now, i instead take the time off to rest, and do some stuff that are not moneymaking but are worthwhile. i learned to enjoy time with family and friends and i make time to enjoy things--even just watching tv. tainpai, we each have a purpose in life. if we know our purpose, we will be a lot happier and fulfilled and we look forward to achieve that purpose. find out what is our your part to play in your part of the world. God bless! :-)
1 person likes this
• China
20 Nov 07
I'm so thankful for your opinion and your share of experience. It's a good thing to expose private worry to the light of the day. I will try to spend much more time sharing with my family and friends, at the same time less time for the consideration about myself.
• Australia
20 Nov 07
Here are some things you can try: 1. Exercise 2. Take some time for you to relax 3. Read something enjoyable 4. Take some executive B tablets 5. talk to someone who knows you 6. Write a journal 7. Consult a doctor if you're still not happy, you might have a chemical inbalance.
• China
21 Nov 07
I exercise at 6:30 every morning; I play PingPong everyday; I like reading something new for me; There is no difficulty in talks between me and my wife. So I do most of all you advise and I hope you are right.
• Australia
21 Nov 07
Try talking to a doctor about how you have been feeling. Sometimes when people have the blues it is due to a chemical imbalance in the brain. That's what depression is caused by. There are medications that doctors can prescribe that increase serotonin in the brain which balances out the chemicals which makes you feel better.
• China
21 Nov 07
I worry about wrong decision from doctor. You know, about mental and psychological illness the methods are still not mature, at least in my country it is the case. So I'd rather like to choose exercise and reading. In any case, thanks for your kindness!
@tzmmmm (39)
• China
22 Nov 07
Can I ask you a question that what you goals for,for yourself,for your parents,or for any others? I am happy when I call my dad. I am happy when I cook with my mom. I am happy when I talk with my friends. Only if I feel that people around me are happy,I am happy too. Being happy is simple without too much thinking and too many goals to reach.
• China
22 Nov 07
Because I think this world is cruel, the society is like the animal world. The stronger will survive, and the weaker will die out. I think the reality around us just likes this. How dare I try other way of life!
@tzmmmm (39)
• China
23 Nov 07
You're right in a way,although I know just a little about the society as a student.What I believe is that the world full of love is a beautiful world.I have heard that to let it go is to be happy.Just relax,calm down and feel with your heart,no annoyance and no noises.It may be helpless.Actually,the world is simple,without your thinking too much.And happy is simple.
• Philippines
22 Nov 07
To be honest, I used to be like you guys, who always thought that "if I had this I would be happier." Then God bopped my head and told me He wanted me on His team. Today, I still want lots of stuff, I still have lots of goals. But I can enjoy each day as it comes.. Because I learned to be content. Because Jesus taught me how to be content in the moment. :D
• China
22 Nov 07
In this world, it's difficult to be content with the need of stuff. As a young man, I want to be famous and rich, that's a challenge for me. I will try my best to realize the my life's goal.
• Philippines
29 Nov 07
for me, tainpai, it's not a matter of the fact that i don't have what i want. it's a matter of i may not have what i want, i may not be in the most ideal place where i want to be, but i am happy where i am. it's a paradox, i know; but that's how my mind works. :p
@apsara60 (6611)
• Israel
21 Nov 07
I think I know what is wrong with you friend. Though you may not tell anybody, I think someone whom you loved a lot has deeply hurt you. It is only when we are deeply hurt that we don't find any happiness any excitement and any meaning to life. There is someone with whom you want to talk and clarify things.........there is someone who is not making any effort to understand you........you are lonely deep inside your heart........you are depressed friend.......is my guess right.....do let me know.....I cannot help you, but at least sharing will help your heavy heart to feel a bit lighter.......
• China
21 Nov 07
Yes, I agree with you on sharing oneself feelings. I am down because I have no success in my career and my life, which often make me doubt my existence meaning. The sharing is one of the answers, in addition, contribution regardless of return should be another effective key.
1 person likes this
@apsara60 (6611)
• Israel
22 Nov 07
Dear friend, Ups and downs are part of life. One should not stop trying........just because you tried something for the first time and did not succeed, does not mean you should not try it again........I think you need to talk to someone who is your close friend and also good adviser. Try to make good friends around you. Don't be lonely and reserved, mix up with people , tell them what you want to do, and I am sure somone will come up with some good advise or some solution to your problems.......your should be open minded, only then you can succeed.
• Malaysia
21 Nov 07
I think, you're not a pessimist. Maybe you should put your life a meaning. Basically for me (because I'm trapped at the middle of hapiness and sadness), I can't be happy because I have a lot of reasons to be sad. If I have my reasons to be happy, I'm happy. Very simple in theory, but not in practical.
• China
22 Nov 07
Well, since our sadness can't change the world, maybe we should try a little to laugh, help other people, enjoy good movies and great delicacy. Since sadness can only give me shadow and self-abasement, why do I put it aside and look for more happyness. I think that's my goal and hope it good to you.
• United States
20 Nov 07
Hey Tainpai, My life was in shambles I mean my family was falling apart, there was a lot of arguing, fighting and so much hatered for each other. It resulted with me moving out of the house and leaving the state to Florida where my brother lived with his family. I stayed there for a couple of months looking for work and trying to start my life there, all failed and we couldnt get along our strong personalities were bumping heads. SO I came back to nothing living in my car for a few days and getting the nerve up to ask my cousin to stay with him. Thank God for him being so gracious, but I couldnt stay there long and he wanted me to go back home, but I pledged to myself that wouldnt happen. I was so down and depressed cuz I had no money, no food, no place to call my own, just me, my car and my sister. I couldnt register to go to school again so I knew I'll be missing the fall semster and that devasted me, I was at my wits end. I had no place to go so I sucked it up and asked my parents if I could come back. Surprisingly and open-hearted they said yes. When I enter the house there was actually peace and tranquility like I knew something had changed, To make a long story short. Beause I gave my life to CHrist my life has been better than it has ever been. He has been tremendously good to me. My family is back together closer than ever before, no fighting, no fussing no hate in my heart it just went away and never felt such peace in my life. The Lord has been taking care of me and he has always been looking out for me even when I was out in the world. I just thank GOd that he saved me from my misery. Putting your life in GOds hand you will find peace, love, joy happiness like you never had before. His love is not like any other human being once you give your life to him you will know what Im talking about. You have no worries, whatever you desire in your heart all you have to do is ask him and you shall recieve. He gave me a verse John15:16 YOu didnt choose me I choice you and whatever you desire in your heart you shall receive if I just call on him name. I pray that you will give your life to Christ I guarantee you it will be the best decision yo will ever make in your life.
• China
21 Nov 07
Thanks for your sharing! In fact many people undergone lots of unpleasant things when they were young and certain shadow stay in heart all their lives. In spite of this, we should do our best to open my heart outside and let the heart shower in sunshine and breeze.
• China
20 Nov 07
yes , i think you are a pessimist.maybe you should contact more new and interesting things.you can do some sports or other things you like when you are free.and you should content with your lot,feel more sunshine and green trees and pretty flowers and those pretty girls beside you .haha```` you can develop your interesing and habitats. maybe you also need a dynamic love story with someone!!
• China
21 Nov 07
How can I dare to have a dynamic love story when my wife's hand is over my head! Contacting more new and interesting things may be a wonderful idea!
@lucky_witch (2710)
• Philippines
20 Nov 07
Well, you achieve all your goals but did you take time to enjoy them? I mean, there are times taht we are too busy achieving our goals and dreams in life but once we achieve it, we just keep on dreaming on something more, because of that we find it hard to enjoy what we have. Sometimes contentment will make us happy and enjoying the things that is already ours.
• China
21 Nov 07
On the contrary, I have a lot of free time. I just have no mood in enjoying my achievements. I have no contentment because people around me look so happy and successful to me, which I think I don't own.
• Philippines
22 Nov 07
try Jesus.
• China
21 Nov 07
You'll be happy if you are satisfied.
• China
21 Nov 07
I can feel that you are very uphappy . Maybe you dont like what you have , but please think that your dream came true. you work hard . although you say that you dont have your own house, i believe , you can have your own house later , please believe yourself .
• China
21 Nov 07
Hello, i have the taotal same feeling as you, i had many dreams and most of them have come ture, but i am still not happy. I dont like my job, i dont have a relationship which i dont care, Now, i even dont know what i should do and what i want to have. Sometimes i just want to sleep and forget all the things, but thats impossible, because after you wake up, all of them will appear in your brain and sight again. I shouldnt say that life is meaningless, but at the present, i really cant find a way that can make me happy!
@ayou82 (3459)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Thats not true everyone deserves to be happy in this life.. we all have to be happy..imagine the world with so much sadness and all the people are as sad as you.. just picture it and i dont think you'll think you will be happy too.Cheer Up as life is ups and downs..
21 Nov 07
It seems to me that you are trying to have your goals define who you are and are lost because you have to decide who the person is that is trying to achieve those goals. Simple psychology.
@Trace86 (5033)
• United States
21 Nov 07
I don't feel like I am truly happy either. I always said I'd be happy if I had my own house. Now I do and I am not happy because I can't afford to fix anything that needs fixing because the mortgage is killing me and I get no help from anyone. I am always obsessing over money. I have even been toying with the idea of selling some family heirlooms to pay the bills and maybe get a bit ahead. I sure wouldn't be happy then. My current "I'll be happy when..." is when the stepson moves out. I guess we'll see. It may be a very long time. He has no education, no skills and no gumption.
@Zelmarq (12567)
• Cebu City, Philippines
21 Nov 07
Life is not always what we want it to be. There are reasons why things dont turn out the way we wanted them to be or wish them to be. Its a matter of having the heart to be able to see beyond life's failures. Scientists have tried thousands of trials and errors with their experiments yet they say that they have not yet failed.I hope that you will try and try until you get what you wanted or the other way around. The problem in lifeis not when we fail and have pains, the real problem is when we stopped trying and just think and die in our tears and think we no longer have hope. AS long as theres still life, theres always hope. Have a nice a day and happy mylotting.
@carolscash (9498)
• United States
20 Nov 07
I believe that a person needs to work at being happy and that you are the only person who can make you happy. I was just discussing this at work today and although we don't like our job we have to have a paycheck and we have to have money so we might as well work at enjoying the time we are there and making the best of it so that we can be happy. I also believe that you have to want to be happy. I think that a lot of people look at life and see what they don't have when we need to see what we do have and learn to like it and make the best of it. We only have one life and we should make the best of it. I think if you have something to say to someone then you need to say it. Don't wait or don't hold it in as you won't be happy.
• Philippines
20 Nov 07
the way to be happy is only in your hands.. It's just that.. being happy is to be satisfied with what you have and what you are.. and you cannot do that without God's help.. Just pray to God, and let God to touch your life.. have a happy day.. ^_