I just don't get it..

I have heard this many times and I am shocked. It is ok for kids to ask for their right it is ok to question the parents and stand up for their rights but to use bad language is not ok. I have heard my mothers friends daughter call her mother F$&*^$* bea@& I am her age and I would never dream of calling the person that gave birth to me with any of those worsd. It is called respect something lots of young people dont have.

I think a lot of it stems from parents trying to be friends rather than parents. SOmehow society got this idea that it is detrimental to your children to say no, or make them unhappy! SO b/c of this, we have a whole bunch of spoiled rotten teens running around, who have never been MADE to obey or respect someone else. CHildren do not automatically have Respect for their parents or other adults, it is something that must be taught and instilled in them when they are VERY young, and when you are too busy buying them everything they want so they'll like you, you miss that precious time to instill respect and a proper attitude towards authority. I am honestly worried what teens will look like in another 5-10 years. I see many young children who have no respect for authority and adults in their lives, and it seems to be getting worse as time goes on! If my sons ever spoke to me that way, it would take one time, and i can assure you they never would again. My oldest is three.. and he has the bad habit of telling my husband to be respectful to mommy, when we are playing around, (hitting each other with pillows etc) (: He doesn't quite understand when daddy is playing around. but I'd rather have it that way, then have a spoiled brat who thinks it's acceptable to hit his parents.

Oh I get ti they dont get the disapline that they are surpose to when young for the welfare poeple steped in and said you correct your child you loose them or you get set up for child abuse. and oh yes trhe kids picked up on this fast and threating the parent with Child abuse if they dont do what they want the parent to do. What ever happened to the rule spare the rod spoil the child?

When I was in Jr. High School, about 16 years ago, I remember my best friend getting into a fight with her mom. We were all in the living room and it ended with my best friend throwing her mom up against a wall so hard that pictures fell down. Before her mom could tell me it was time for me to leave I was already out the door. I walked home in utter fear for my friend and in absolute disbelief that anyone would ever do that to her mom. If I did that to my mom she would have had me looking for my teeth and after I found them my dad would have scattered them all over again. Well, later that night we had a school dance and my best friend was there. When I asked what had happened, she just laughed and said that her mom yelled at her (and then gave her a ride to the dance). I believe children will treat their parents no better or worse then the parents allow them to. Discipline and respect are fostered at a young age and if parents are too lazy or permissive then they really can't expect to be respected.

this is today's world. i am also shocked after reading your discussion. i think parents nowadys are giving too much space to the children and thats why they act like this.They should have been more strict. children are losing moral.

I was raised in a way that i could say to my parents whatever i wanted to, sure i had my punishments, but i was always free to question my parents or answer them badly IF they had done something stupid. This made me 10 times more respectful than those people just standing in line because they are afraid of their incapable parents.

So glad for this post. It reinforces my belief in the old school that once in a while a good spanking does wonders both for the child and for the parents. What’s wrong here is that we are letting too much of outside influence affect our personal lives. Before disciplining our child, we think of child psychology (as if our parents and grandparents were illiterate brutes), child abuse, child self-respect, counseling, state laws, peer pressure, media projection, TV, movies, games etc etc. And we are way too busy running after money and enjoying our own life to actually take the reins in our own hand. We look for excuses to shirk our responsibility like ‘I should not publicly scold my daughter, the counselor says its wrong’, ‘ I should let my son go for the excursion, his group is going’ etc etc. We don’t bother to actually know who else belongs to that group, what sort of families they come from or whatever the counselor says, its my daughter after all and even if I hit her on the road, the state has no business interfering! Parenting, as you very well know, is a full-time hard dedicated job. There are no short cuts, you can’t rest on your laurels and the moment you start feeling lazy, the ball is slowly but surely going out of your court.

I see this more & more. I've got a brief & maybe not very enlightening opinion on this subject matter. There are some really stupid people out there breeding. I can't believe some of the things I see. Kids acting like monsters in public, berating their parents, & the parents just taking it. I don't have any kids myself but my mom had 4 kids and we NEVER spoke to her that way. I can't imagine what she would've said if we even tried!

You are definitely not old school! I have never, and will never, allow my kids to talk to me that way! I have two girls, ages 13 and 17 and they have never talked to me like that! They know better... I have watched other kids do that though and it is very hard for me to keep my mouth shut when I hear it! I saw one boy come over to him mother at a football game and say to her, "Money. Now!" and put his hand out. She simply handed over the money! I was in shock! I turned to him and said, "good thing you aren't my son cause you wouldn't get a penny!" He started laughing and said, "she knows I'm just joking..." I don't are if you're joking or not, you do NOT speak to your parents, or any adult, that way....

My husband and I have these same thoughts everytime we go to the mall. Kids are running around like wild animals, destroying stuff and their parents do nothing about it. Teen and pre-teen girls walking around in revealing clothes. Teenagers and kids being disrespectful to everyone around them. I wouldn't have been able to sit down if I acted the way I see these kids behave. I personally don't spank my kids, but I haven't needed to either. We teach them from a young age what is acceptable behavior.

I was brought up in a very strict family, my father was soo hursh on us that we could do anything he tell and not urgue with him, he taught us never to urgue with people who are a year older than us. I grew up respecting my elder brother and sister. As for I dont have children yet but am prepared to instill the same teachings and values my parents taught me. Kids grow the way you train them from day one of their birth and even if bad peer pressure will change them, it will be less harmful because they will know that whatever they are doing is against the parent's will and they will be punished. Parents, let us be abit strict on our growing kids so that when they reach their teenage they can behave well. Let us also pray to God help us bring up our kids the right way.

Everybody wants to be their kid's best friend nobody wants to be the parent. I say you need a balance. When it comes to young children you teach them respect early, they'll listen to you. With teens it harder, they're constantly testing their boundaries, seeing how far they can push it. My first few years as a teenager I lived with my strict aunt and my Vietnam veteran uncle. It was discipline all the way, you ate what was on your plate or it'd be there to greet you at the next meal, you did your home work as soon as you got home, everything else was a secondary priority. You didn't dare talk back or you would go to your room and sit on your bed the rest of the night. But at the same time there was compassion, you could talk to them about anything and they wouldn't get mad, you were never alone. Then I started living with my mom, and we came to an understanding. I was becoming a man, I could do what I wanted as long as it wasn't going to land me in jail. My mom trusted me, as long as I never did anything to break that trust. I was given freedom to do what I wanted, and since I had already seen what it was like not to be trusted I valued that freedom to much to jeopardize it.

Kids are rude and disrespectful and it's the parents fault. My mother would have knocked me through windows if I even thought about talking to her that way. If I backtalked or smarted off, I got spanked then and there. It didn't matter where we were, unless we were in church. Then my mother took me outside. I don't get it either. I don't understand how the typical parents of a rude typical teen can stand there and just look helpless. It reminds me of those Nanny shows on FOX. How can you be that dam* clueless when it comes to raising kids? If you see them doing something bad, STOP THEM. Slap them, time outs, spankings, groundings, talk to them, anything but just let them keep doing it! Come on. It's not that hard.

Maybe you are right,And I have the same feeling about the rudness between us and our parents,but In our country is not so bad,Parents always have the right to deal with his children's affairs.anyway,we should respect our parents and grandparents.and also our guys around us,right?

Yes I see that too. I saw my son's friend sending him all the way around 3-4Kms for a silly toy he had got at Mc Donalds at 8 p.m. in the night , which he had forgotten at our place while playing. I was surprised as the very next day or the next he would certainly had come himself to play again. The toy could have been picked up then. But no the poor dad came all over the way to get that silly toy for his precious son. I think its parents fault more than the kids as we allow them to tread on us like that. No one is talking about spanking but at least a firm voice and some reasoning is required here.

I blame a lot of this on the parents. And the fact that kids know very well, that if their parent "hit" them, they can file charges on their parents. Now that is the dumbest thing I've heard, cos when I was growing up, "spanking" was just something that parents did when their kids back talked or disrespected their parents. Some of these kids in today's society need more than a bar of soap to wash their mouth out. I would never say the words to my parents that these little kids say. But a lot of those words are heard at home from the parents.

I understand what you are saying. I'm a mother of 7boys and 3 girls. The oldest is 13 and if he ever said anything like that, it would be the last time he ever left the house. I don't know what's up with parents now-a-days. I think a lot of it has to do with everyone telling you that you can't punish your kids. I've heard kids threaten to call welfare on their parents and all that. I do spank my children when they do something REALLY bad. I was spanked as a child and I turned out fine. I think most parents just give up. I think that parents should be punished for not disiplining their children instead of punished for doing it. Of course, no child should be BEATEN. But a good swat on the bottom never killed noone.

Ah. The youth of today. Why can't they be perfect like I used to be! haha No, seriously, you are right in more ways than one. The biggest pointer you said was 'if she said that to me she would be looking for her teeth' haha - love that expression. You are right. A fat smack on the butt a few years back for comments like that would moderate the verbal abuse that we have today.

I think parents now are too afraid to discipline their children because instead of being a parent, they'd rather come off as a friend. They want to keep their children happy because they didn't get a long of things in their childhood so they want to make sure they give their children what they want because they weren't offered that. Instead of being a friend, the parent actually ends up being walked all over, and the children end up spoiled and in a lot of trouble because the parents don't want to parent. I think it's sad really. There are times to be a friend, and there are times to actually lay down the law.

hi devilsangel i know what you mean my pastor daughter back answers her mom and dont listen to her and stuff and i say to myself if i talked to ym mom like that i would geta back hand slap my mom dont get along but we do too an extent i know certain things are just not to be said we can think them but not say them but this little is the rudest 6 year old i have ever seen and she is a pastors daughter the bible says train up a child in the way that he or she should go and then he wont depart from it but in todays socially i feel that parents are to leaniant on there kids there talking about time out and naughty chairs you can hit your child now adays because its about but my grandma and mom said always said if you dont hear you feel i got licks and i still breathing licks never killed anyone the bible also says spare the rod spoil the child i know when i have kids if they back answer me and disrespect me i will be spanking them if they get out of hand becau8e i was taught to respect my elders and children in this need to be disciplined and taught right from worng i think if they learned how to respect them selves and othere there would be less gang violence and less teen age pregnancy and less people in jail!!!!