someone help pls!!!!

Take her to a good family psychologist. Obviously something has happened. It really isnt possible to just learn this behavior.

Mare...first..breath....Now you know your son better than ANYONE..so thinking back, cold and hard thinking back I am talking here..did his behaviour, the things he said/did, how he reacted to things etc say he would do somehting like that (easier said than done to do becuase he IS your son)...Secondly....has she been showing this sort of behaviour over the past yr or is this just starting up recently?..if its just starting up recently I have to wonder if someone has been at her more recently than a yr ago....Thirdly....Have you talked to a counselor? if not...GO TO ONE...you MUST get to the bottom of this...BUT keep an open mind....maybe he did, maybe he didnt but someone else did...maybe nobody did but she heard someone else talking about it and the list goes on...there are a LOT of factors that come into play....you have to remember and be aware of all that has gone on, things that may have been said while away either to her, in front of her etc.... After the gobble day holiday I would get in touch with her pediatrican/doctor and set up an appointment for that, talk to the doc and see what he/she thinks/says etc...Talk to your sitter adn get as much info as possible, for example has this happened before, has she said anything beyond her yrs before etc....give some thought to all that has gone on over the past yr and weigh out the possiblities (these are things to mention to the doc too btw)....Day by day...bit by bit...AND REMEMBER if you are goin to talk to her DO NOT guide her...let her speak free flow without any ideas, tidbits etc (whether knowingly or unknowingly..you'll have to really watch your words) from you... Email me if you want...and remember to breathe Mare...Hard as it will be, you HAVE TO keep your calm around her ESPECIALLY when you are talking to her about it..Kids feel our vibe and sense our moods in a huge way...be very aware of that!

Oh wow this is a tough subject to deal with. I think I myself would talk alot with her and make sure she understands that it is not acceptable behaviour unless she is an adult. It might be a good idea to have her see a counsellor as well. She might open up more. I have a friend who's 5 yr old was molested for at least a yr and she is displaying some of the same behaviour as your daughter. I myself have not had to deal with this kind of situation but I hope I have given you a different idea to try. hugs

I have seen lots of little kids act this way before so i thought perhaps it was just something they went through (we have lots of nieces) but when you mentioned her brother touching her i thought, maybe it has been caused by something that's gone on. Of course your son would deny doing it, he's at the age where he's not likely to be a honest any more (at that age they know to lie if it will keep them out of trouble). Perhaps you should take her to see a Dr & have them examine her (female Dr would be best i think) - then they can give her a full physical exam & tell you if anything has gone on. Someone may not be doing anything to her but i guess it is possible that it happened at some stage (i don't want to blame your son or anything but at the age of 4 - most little kids don't make things up) & she has just continued with it thinking it is normal. I hope you can find out what's going on, it seems really sad - especially with her not wanting to open up to you. I think a Dr visit would be the best option, at least to get the ball rolling.

This is really a tough one and I feel bad that you and your daughter are having to deal with it. The only thing I can recommend is therapy for your daughter AND for yourself. I had a similar situation with my daughter when she was young and my brother and I didn't belive her and let it go and now she's in her 30's and I regret it. Please do it for your daughter and get her help. God Bless!

I would take her to a psychologist. She may be afraid to talk to you if you are emotional, or you may be asking her leading questions without realizing it. I think there could be something going on. It may be that she is being exposed to inappropriate things, like seeing other people engaging in adult behavior, or seeing it in movies. I don't want to alarm you, but do not wait, call a psychologist today and make an appointment. It may not be anything too serious, but why take the chance. If there is something going on you need to find out so you can put a stop to it and start getting your daughter the help she needs. And in the meantime, I would stop contact with her brother, or whomever you believe the source to be.

Hello Mare73,Thanks for your post.I have three advices, first of all just ensure that your daughter is getting enough time and love from her parents or not and she shhouldnot feel neglected from the famaly/parents.Secondly dont critise her loudly this will create problems in your relationship in future rather deal this matter with patienceand intelligence, also dont ever show or discuss your own frustrations of your own life to her, she might feel insecured and finally encourage her to adopt to learn something that needs creativity and concentration according to her choice, it may be playing some musical instrument, or if she prefers sports then she can try to learn gymnastics,(I recommend Yoga & meditation)once she starts enjoying she will spent more of her leisure time on these and her mind will be busy all the time.Thanks.

I think the best coarse of action, would to find a child therapist, maybe a local church, or maybe there are some government funded ones that can do it free, or inexpesively? It will be a difficutl journey for you, b/c they are both your children, and no one wants to see their child in that kind of light. I think it would be best to have an impartial, counselor speak to her. Also, if it does come out, that she was treated inappropriately, try to remember, that your son was only 13 years old, and although he is def. Old enough to know better, he is still your son. Now, i'm not saying you should arrange some play date with the sib. but I do think it's something you can work through, and the whole family can put behind them. I know a lot of people will think i'm crazy to say that, but I know first hand, b/c I was abused in the same way when I was a child. I think you need to take your daughter in, and help her to deal with it. Children overcome these things, I did, many other women I know did. It's not something we should ever have to face, but it happens, and now is the time to correct it and keep it from ever happening again. I don't know what you believe, but My trust in God, and his loving arms is the only thing that kept me during my years of se*ual abuse.. I wouldn't be here today if I didn't have the loving arms of my savior to confide in and find comfort. I pray that you find a local church, that will show you that God can mend the broken hearted. And don't forget about your son. He needs you more than ever during this time. I would tell him, I am very hurt, dissapointed and embarrassed, horrified by your behaviour. But, I love you. You are my son, and I love you, I always will love you, there is nothing that you can do, that will change the love I have for you. Also, I would say, HOwever, this is unacceptable, there is no punishment that is grave enough for you to understand what you have done to your sister, what you have taken from her. You have potentially changed her life.. We will work hard, and believe that she will come out of this better than she was before, and I will work hard with you and believe that you will as well. I think many times when situations like this happen, parents harras the offender, and many times, it cripples them. It was def. wrong for him to do this, but it's done now, there is nothing that he could do to take it back, but you can prevent it from happening again. I would hate for you son to be devestated for the rest of his life by a mistake he has made. Maybe he's heading down the wrong path anyways, and if you take your love from him at this point, it may just send him over the edge. SO, yes, take them BOTH in to get counsel. Your daughter will survive, I promise. I don't know if you are currently married, or dating someont, but I would try to find a man whom you trust (your brother, a dear friend, her grandfather) who will take interest in your daughter, and teach her what a healthy relationship looks like. Daughters learn from their mothers what a woman is, and from her father (or men in her life) what a woman is worth, the one thing that many children who were abused struggle with is that they deserved what they got, because that's what they are worth. I hope I have helped.. and I hope I didn't go over the line when I told you of how much GOd has changed my life. If he could do it for me, he'll do it for you. He never leaves us and never forsakes us.. we just need to turn to him. Good luck to you and your family.

I think its of real concern for you. it is very much abnormal for a 5 yr old girl to act like this. it seems she is matured beyond her age and most probably has seen something like this be it on TV or anywhere. As she is a child, she found those thing very interesting and try to act like an adult. Just talk with her and make her understand that these are not at all appropriate for a child like her. Take her to a child psychologist.

I feel that you should really consult her case to a professional psychologist or a psychiatrist. There is indeed something happened to her in the past that made her act like that. I think she still young and she could still cope up and reform herself I think there is still hope for her behaviour.

Two possibilities: 1 - The "touching" episode was true, she was traumatized, and now you're seeing the effects it had on her. 2 - The "touching" episode was not true, she made it up. She's really the one who has a problem. Either way it's best to get professional psychological help because this could get worse by the time she's a teenager. In the meantime, you and her teachers will have to do your best to teach her that those acts are for adults only.

maybe your daughter learned it from someone else. Better keep an eye on her before its too late.

Oh no! I am really really sorry to hear this.. Mabey it is nothing just somthing she seen on tv?..i mean if its not in the home its elsewere..were does she go? mabey to family members house? we know she goes to daycare. anywere else. I would say go to the dr. and see if he can reffer you out to a dr who can asess her and give u an answer.even if it turns out there is nothing wrong with her she just picked it up from somthing on tv. it was well worth it.to know your baby girl is safe and nothing has happend to her. but in the mean time i would talk to her and see what u can find out... i wish the best of luck for ya and i will keep u in my prayers:)

your daughter needs a psychological assistance she's too young to act like that maybe she have seen it on tv or a magazine and become curious about and then sha try to experiment.. go to a psychologist to ask for assistance that would be the best thing you can do. Gbu. let's pray for that prob.