Something Happens To Someone Close To You And Every Bad Memory Alike Drifts Back

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Just about 6 hours ago, a very close childhood friend of mine informed me, and confided in me that her boyfriend/ unannounced to most, fiancee, had just died in a car accident... She was in shock, and very rightly so, i only met him a few times, he seemed like a nice enough guy, but it's not something i guess i can say i would grieve over, not because i shouldn't, but because i never felt any kind of possibility for friendship... Anyway the point of this discussion is what's happening to me now... I haven't been able to stop the tears flowing, since she told me, because i can't stop the memories of the night my husband's heart stopped for a few moments, giving me little to no reason to want to live, the grief i felt, the pain, suffering, fear, i was so scared. But i didn't lose him, and i thank god for that every day... I'm so sorry for what she's going through, and though i haven't lost my one and only, i know that that pain, that can stay so fresh, to make you lose yourself in the grips of grief, can happen weather you lose that person or not... And for the moment, i don't want to let him go, fearing that i'm going to have to feel every ounce of horror that i felt the second i couldn't feel a heart beat again... How on earth can it still be so fresh, when he's still here, when i can still feel him, smell him, see him, hear him, how, and how do i let him leave my side to go to work, or go out anywhere without me, without the fear so strong that he's going to be gone, and i'll never see him again? I know i don't know half of what my friend is going through, the pain that she's feeling, the loss, the trauma, and i'm more than glad of that, because feeling loss is so hard on all of us. I know that she will make it through, that she will be alright, that she is a strong girl, and can do anything, and i know one day the pain will ease on her. But how do you get rid of the fear?